Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Alcibiades

Alcibiades[edit]

I've completed another copy-edit of the article. I know some more tweaks are still necessary before going for FA (the article is already GA), but I thought it was high time I had some suggestions and thoughts from peer-reviewers.--Yannismarou 13:00, 14 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Plange[edit]

Great article, I just made some minor tweaks. Only things I found were:

Lead seems a bit long
Under Recall to Athens: "The Peloponnesians mooring their ships together, they fought with their adversaries as they sailed down upon them" - this sentence doesn't make sense to me. Do you mean: "The Peloponnesians, mooring their ships together, fought with their adversaries as they sailed down upon them" but still there's too many pronouns to know who is what...
Under Recall to Athens: "His performance is judged as skillful" should that read: "His performance is judged as skillful by historians"?
Under Assessment: "According to Vlachos the expedition had nothing the extravagant or adventurous" do you mean "According to Vlachos the expedition had nothing of the extravagant or adventurous"?

--plange 20:59, 17 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! Working on the lead. I've reduced it a bit, but I'm reluctant! It is so well-written by Robth! I'll check the language issues.--Yannismarou 17:07, 18 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Lead trimmed now a bit.--Yannismarou 20:52, 21 September 2006 (UTC)