Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Anthony Michael Hall/Archive1

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Anthony Michael Hall[edit]

When I first found this article, it was a stub with only 4 short paragraphs. This is my first attempt at a full biography and since I've been working alone, I need someone to give me some feedback on it. The article is detailed and sourced, but I feel it's lacking something and I don't know exactly what or how to fix it. I'd like to get it to GA status if possible. Thank you. Nat91 01:16, 8 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Yannismarou[edit]

Very nice. But I still have some concerns:

  • "Personal" makes me have some concerns. First of all I see some stubby paragraphs. But even the content of these paragraphs is problematic: "Hall briefly dated actress Molly Ringwald during the time when they co-starred in The Breakfast Club together. He has also dated Canadian model Sandra Guerard." Are his dates so important? In general this article has a lot of trivia and incoherent references (this is at least my opinion). And some other personal information are not in this section but in other ones ("Hall began drinking alcohol when he was 13.") If you want to keep the current section as it is, make a good "cleaning" of the current content (for instance, does information like "Hall is currently developing film and television projects to produce, direct and star in under his production company banner AMH Entertainment." go here or in some of the folowing sections, which treat his professional life?) and make the prose a bit more coherent. Otherwise, you can create a "Family section" and incorporate some information of the current "Personal" in other sections. These are just some thoughts.
  • "Even though people are recognizing Hall as much for The Dead Zone as for the work he did back in the 1980s, it is impossible to ignore his stint as an 80s icon." Elaborate a bit on that. You could create a new section, treating the way his acting is judged by some pundits. What are the traits of his acting. Pros and cons. Lauds and criticisms etc.
  • "Filmography" is recommendd, but, if you go to FAC, you may face criticisms that it is too long and you should include only the most important philmography.
  • In FAC again you may be criticized, because all your images are "fair-use" tagged.
  • I'm not an expert in prose (I'm not a native English speaker), but it seems nice to me except for "Personal". But it is not bad to go through once again and make an additional slight copy-editing (to further improve the article flow) or kindly ask the advice of a good native English copy-editor.

Good luck with GAC (I believe you will not face serious problems) and soon, I hope, with FAC.--Yannismarou 19:13, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

You bring up good points. As I said before, I felt there was something wrong with the article. I agree, his dates are not important (honestly, I think no one's dates are) but since most articles have something about that, I thought "ok, I'll include something too." There are a couple of images I want to replace, that's why I haven't worked on all the copyright tags yet. I'm not really sure what you mean by incoherent references. Could you elaborate on that?
As for all the trivia, I'll explain. The article originally had a "Trivia" section, but I read another article's peer review and someone said "Trivia" sections were not recommended anymore (I don't remember if that was you), so I got rid of most of it and included some in the rest of the article. Should I do something about it?
I'm not sure how to divide the "Personal" section in 2 sections without making them look stubby. I may have to do more research. By the way, I'm not a native English speaker either, but I know people who can take a look at the prose. Thanks for the advice, I'll try my best to fix it. Nat91 04:17, 10 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Incoherent prose not references in "Personal". That is what I mentioned. I gave a second thought for the dates. You may be right! If he dated some famous persons, then you could maybe include such information. But very briefly. Start by making "Personal" prose better and then you'll see if you have to split it ot not.
  • Something else I thought: Online sources are fine but printed sources are highly esteemed. So, if you could find any that would be great.--Yannismarou 06:22, 11 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks again for your suggestions. I'll have them in mind. If only I could find printed sources. Nat91 03:41, 12 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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