Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Clay Regazzoni

Clay Regazzoni

January's collaborative effort from WikiProject Formula One. Currently rated at 'B', and I suspect we could get it through a GA review, but would like to have a view from outside the project on how it reads to a non-expert and how it could be made more engaging for a non specialist audience. Thanks. 4u1e 23:24, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Oldelpaso

Generally good. I'd probably pass it if reviewing it for GA. A few comments:

• Having a subheading for each year makes the prose a little stop-start. Removing these and simply having the sections for each constructor would improve flow.

Done. 4u1e 18:05, 5 March 2007 (UTC)

• Regazzoni was killed when the Chrysler Voyager he was driving collided head-on into the rear of a lorry If was into the rear then the two vehicles were not head-on.

Done. Although I'd like a better reference - newspaper writers are too prone to use of clichés like 'head on'. 4u1e 18:05, 5 March 2007 (UTC)

• It is obvious that the 1980 accident ended his F1 career, but this should be stated explicitly instead of being inferred.

Done. 4u1e 18:05, 5 March 2007 (UTC)

• A couple of statements are a little too gushing e.g. his rehabilitation became an inspirational story. A couple of things need referencing: Regazzoni won back his racing license despite the prejudices of the authorities and Tecno offered Regazzoni the use of one of their F3 chassis for 1967, where his reliable, fast performances earnt him the offer of a works Tecno drive in Formula Two for the following year.
• What were the reasons for his changes of team?
• I don't know whether the material will be available, but the Personal life section could do with being fleshed out a little. For example, where did he live in adult life?

Hope this helps. Oldelpaso 13:49, 3 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks - good comments. I'll have a stab at implementing them. Cheers. 4u1e 16:38, 5 March 2007 (UTC)

Yannismarou

• "A single season with BRM then lead Regazzoni back to Ferrari for a further three years." Maybe past tense ("led") is better here?

Done. Thanks for the catch. 4u1e 22:18, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

• "Personal and early life". IMO this chapter is very stubby. Can't you enrich it with more infos about his early years and family?

Ideally yes, but I'm not sure I've got the material to do it. Noted and will keep an eye out. 4u1e 22:18, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

• Some sections such as "Sports car racing" have no citations, and others such as "1970-1972: Ferrari" or "After Formula One" are undercited. Try to have at least one citation for each paragraph.

Comment: With some of the F1 paras it's because there is no more information there than can be gleaned from the championship results. I don't believe in using inline refs for race results, because the articles would be full to overflowing with them, so that's the one thing I use a 'blanket' reference for (see 'Footnotes'). I think the real problem you've identified is that those sections could use beefing up in terms of content. I'll see what can be done. 4u1e 09:19, 11 March 2007 (UTC)

• "1978: Shadow" is also stubby. Maybe you could merge it with the following years, but again this may be just my personal preference!--Yannismarou 13:22, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

For some reason that season is always covered very briefly. If anything it would be merged with the preceding season (also with a small team, also not much to say). 4u1e 22:18, 14 March 2007 (UTC)

Comment Can I just say thanks to Yannismarou and Oldelpaso for the useful comments. This has been (sadly) far more helpful than a standard Peer Review, I really appreciate the time you've taken to comment. 4u1e 22:18, 14 March 2007 (UTC)