Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Ellis Paul

Ellis Paul

I'm a relatively new Wiki editor. Would like constructive feedback in my goal to reach FA status and would like a few members of the WikiBioProject to rate the article. Thank you in advance for your assistance. Kmzundel 00:08, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

• Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.^[?]
• See if possible if there is a free use image that can go on the top right corner of this article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 3000 Miles, use 3000 Miles, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 3000 Miles.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), avoid capitalizing words unless they are proper nouns or the first word of the heading.
• As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2]^[?]
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Senators^{Talk | Contribs} 03:48, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Yannismarou

Nice job. But it needs some work to be in accord with Wikipedia's standards and criteria. This is my review:

• You must also tell us in the lead date and place of birth. Usually this is done in a parenthesis. Check a recently promoted biographical FA article to take an idea. Check also WP:LEAD about how a lead should be - the lead must be a comprehensive summary of the article.
• "Critics have praised him for a charismatic, personally authentic performance style that has influenced other folk-pop musicians. While remaining among the most pop-friendly of today's singer-songwriters with songs that have appeared in movies and TV, he has bridged the gulf between the modern folk sound and the populist traditions of Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger more successfully than many of his songwriting peers." All these are assessments that need citing; otherwise they could be regarded as weasel words or, worse, original research. Unless you repeat and analyse these assessments in the main article. But I do not think you do that. Maybe if you decide to rewrite the lead, you could remove or repeat and further analyze these assessments in a new section named "Assessments" or "Criticisms". This is just a suggestion.

The lead is the only paragraph I did NOT write and was hesitant to remove it, but I will re-work it, taking your comments into consideration.Kmzundel

• Do not wikilink single years (1983); per MoS we wikilink only full dates (May 8 1983).

Not my work either. Thought it was odd. Will remove. Kmzundel

• Many short or bigger quotes interrupting the prose. Maybe you could trim some of them or use alternative ways to introduce them. You could take ideas from two of the articles I've worked on: Demosthenes and El Greco. Some recasting into alternative language could also help.
• "Although Paul goes on to say that the four musicians learned a lot from each other, End Construction eventually ran its course and disbanded." Try to avoid single-sentence paragraphs like this one. They are not good both for the layout and the flow of the article's flow.
• "Paul was signed to Rounder in 1994.

After trying for five years, Paul was invited to play the Kerrville Folk Festival in 1994. He won the Kerrville New Folk Award that year." Just an example of choppy prose.

Understood. Kmzundel

• Maybe you could add more infos about his musical style and what the critics and specialists of music say about it.

That is the next area I planned to tackle. Kmzundel

• Are all your references from magazines? If yes, don't you have any on-line versions of these articles. In any case, if you have or you find any online versions of other articles, you could use Template:cite news. I also think the current references need further formatting.
• In order to see how discography should be given, check any FA of an artist, e.g. Celine Dion.
• The awards section is long and listy for me. Maybe you could think about turining it into prose and speaking about the most important of these awards making a selection, if you think this section is necessary. But again, have a second opinion for this particular issue.--Yannismarou 19:27, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

Will take all comments under advisement and continue editing. Thank you! Kmzundel 19:42, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

Incorporated many of your suggestions! Thank you again! Kmzundel 02:48, 11 January 2007 (UTC)