Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Forest Whitaker

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Forest Whitaker[edit]

I'm interested in getting some specific suggestions about how to improve this to at least a "good article" rating.—The preceding unsigned comment was added by Vbd (talk • contribs) 06:35, April 17, 2007 (UTC)

  • The only issues I see are the pair of one-sentence paragraphs and the inline link in the "Personal life" section (that can be converted to a cite template). Otherwise it seems pretty good to me. Once the issue below are addressed I'd go for GA and see what type of feedback you get. — RJH (talk) 18:23, 14 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

LuciferMorgan[edit]

Find critical feedback for his acting roles and add it to the article to give some context about his rise to fame. Try Roger Ebert and the usual suspects. LuciferMorgan 09:07, 18 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Yannismarou[edit]

  • You could expand a bit more the lead per WP:LEAD.
  • "His mother put herself through college and earned two Masters degrees while raising her children (Forest has two younger brothers, Kenn and Damon, and an older sister, Deborah). The family moved to the Los Angeles area when Whitaker was a toddler. Whitaker commuted" The prose is a bit choppy here I am afraid.
  • "He was accepted to the Music Conservatory at the University of Southern California (USC) to study opera as a tenor, and was then accepted into the Drama Conservatory. He graduated from USC in 1982. He also earned a scholarship to the Berkeley, California branch of the Drama Studio London." Choppy again. Maybe an overall copy-editing would be helpful.
  • "His performance earned him the 2007 Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role, making him the fourth African-American actor in history to do so." Repetition of almost exactly the same phrasing from the lead.
  • "Television work" is full of stubby paragraphs that make it listy. Similar problems in "Film work".
  • "Whitaker has a medical condition called strabismus,[14] which is sometimes referred to as "lazy eye."[15] Whitaker, who has a 1st Degree Black Belt in Karate, is a vegetarian.[8] He and his daughter, True, have recorded a public service announcement promoting vegetarianism on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)." Trivia amassed together! Re-organize the section, make the prose more encyclopedic, and get rid of this "trivia sense".
  • Your narration is too "dry". Make it more vivid, and add assessments, praises and even negative criticism concerning his work.--Yannismarou 12:51, 21 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, Ruhrfisch 02:47, 5 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

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