Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Insane Clown Posse

This article got little notice during the last peer review, and has since failed featured article candidacy, after much work from the Psychopathic Records WikiProject. What further needs to be done in order to get this article up to FA standards, quality and status? (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Lots of missing commas throughout—here's one example: "After being rejected by several labels, they signed a contract with Jive Records who released the group's third studio album, Riddle Box on October 10, 1995." A comma is needed after Riddle Box as well as before it.

Fixed. Will look over the rest of the article at another point. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 21:24, 10 June 2008 (UTC))[reply]

I question the reliability of the band's official website as a source. Can other sources use to replace the claims sourced by the site?

Actually, it doesn't appear to be. I see nine separate references from the official website, several cited multiple times. --Kakofonous (talk) 21:37, 14 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Their website is cited in cases for which I could find no other reliable references. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 07:42, 15 June 2008 (UTC))[reply]

I notice that you've mixed usage of the serial comma with the traditional version without the comma after the conjunction; stick to one or the other.

Some redundancy as well; see this example: "In 1999, Bruce and Utsler performed at Woodstock '99, in addition to completing their fifth studio album, The Amazing Jeckel Brothers." Pretty obvious to us that they are performing at Woodstock '99 in '99! Could be simplified to something like "Bruce and Utsler performed at Woodstock '99 and completed their fifth studio album, The Amazing Jeckel Brothers, in the same year." Check for this type of phrasing throughout.

Rewritten. Will check the rest of the article at another point. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 21:24, 10 June 2008 (UTC))[reply]

The lead lacks a good overview, aside from a few sentences, of the sections after "History"; expansion would be useful.

Tell me when done or when extra commentary would be useful. --Kakofonous (talk) 00:38, 10 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In response to your comment on my talk, these points are the main issues I had. You may want to contact someone else to get another pair of eyes to look through. --Kakofonous (talk) 21:37, 14 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]