Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Ennis Whitehead

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Sturmvogel 66 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 14:46, 16 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ennis Whitehead[edit]

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Another aviator. One of the lesser-known ones, but one who played an important part in the war in the South West Pacific theatre. Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:13, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support: G'day, I did some copy editing. Please check that you are happy with my changes and adjust if necessary. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 14:30, 22 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

~~Comments~~Support by Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 00:45, 8 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Not much to nitpick about here, the article is in fine shape.
- several refs don't have a numerical identifier. They all have oclc's on Worldcat.
  - Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- some external links are problematic see this I think AUP is down at the moment.
  - It is. Replaced with its archive from the Watback machine. All the links are good now. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- no alt text on images (not required at A-class)
- otherwise toolchecks are ok
- I'm assuming AmEnglish is being used for this chap, but date format is BrEnglish?
  - It is AmEnglish. The dates are in US military format, per WP:STRONGNAT. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- suggest was commissioned as a first lieutenant
  - Done Hawkeye7 (talk)
- suggest Whitehead ~~constantly~~consistently gave...
  - Done Hawkeye7 (talk)
- suggest occupation of Japan
  - Done Hawkeye7 (talk)
- the wording around "a minimum air force" is unclear, perhaps reword or expand the concept, my initial impression on reading it was that he was proposing that the airforce be kept to a minimum. What he was really proposing was a massive expansion of the airforce for protection against atomic airstrikes, to the detriment of the other services if necessary.
  - Yes. Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- percentages are commonly expressed in words percent in US English
  - In AmEnglish, they say "percent" instead of "per cent". Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- this is more a matter of taste, but I suggest creation of an awards section and removal of the citations from the infobox
  - I was hoping that someone else would create a medal bar. I'm not much good with them myself. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
That's all I have. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 00:45, 8 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for that! Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:35, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - No worries, a pleasure. Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 11:52, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments The prose looks good enough to head to FAC. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 22:50, 8 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support on prose per standard disclaimer. I finished up. - Dank (push to talk) 23:51, 5 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments
- One dead link - Ennis Whitehead (info) [maxwell.af.mil] - could this be linked to an archived version?
  - Done Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:23, 6 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "When the P-38 Lightning fighter arrived in the theater in late 1942, Whitehead at last received a fighter that could match the Japanese A6M Zero." This is a little repetitive. Specifically "fighter" twice, perhaps consider rewording to something like: "When the P-38 Lightning fighter arrived in the theater in late 1942, Whitehead at last received an aircraft that could match the Japanese A6M Zero."
  - Y Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:23, 6 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- The presentation of refs to the two Fogerty references seems to be inconsistent.
  - Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:23, 6 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Otherwise it looks good to me. Anotherclown (talk) 08:59, 29 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support with nitpicks

Since the Fogerty PDF is quite long, it's probably worth specifying page numbers
- It doesn't have page numbers. However, the officers are in alphabetic order, so he is easy to find. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:51, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
When was his son born? Did he have any other children?
- 16 June 1926. (The 1940 census has it wrong.) He also had a daughter, Margaret, who was born on 14 July 1921. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:51, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
If there is no article explaining the Pan American Good Will Flight, I'd suggest adding a bit more detail. Also, what happened to Dargue in the collision? Was he injured?
- According to this account, there is no mention of injury, although he chute was holed. I found an image, and added it to the article. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:51, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - Dargue was killed in a plane crash on 12 December 1941. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:09, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Suggest wikilinking revetment, instrument meteorological conditions
- Done Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:51, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Some of the phrasing seems a bit repetitive (for example, "the Japanese advanced steadily on Port Moresby. In the end, the Japanese turned back short of Port Moresby").
- Y Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:51, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Nikkimaria (talk) 13:48, 10 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Image review -- I didn't see a dedicated image licensing check but the three pics appear unproblematic: two US-Gov and one pre-1945 Australian. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:42, 12 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.