Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Garnet Malley

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Peacemaker67 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 06:21, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Garnet Malley[edit]

Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk)


Another Australian fighter ace of World War I, Garnet Malley differs from the subjects of my recent similar noms in that he not only survived that conflict but managed to live to a relatively ripe old age. He's also notable for his association with Chiang Kai-shek's Nationalists during the 1930s. His on-the-spot observations of air tactics in the Sino-Japanese War might've been of considerable assistance to Australia but unfortunately his apparent status-seeking in China seems to have led the RAAF to take his reports with a grain of salt. I recently expanded this for a successful shot at GA before adding further material that I think makes it A-Class-worthy. Special acknowledgement to Georgejdorner for the initial work that got it to around B-Class, and thanks in advance to everyone who comments here. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:21, 25 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • "founded the whitegoods firm Malley's Ltd": The source says it was a whitegoods-manufacturing firm. I doubt they were making refrigerators for the home in the 1890s; do you have any more specific information? - Dank (push to talk) 22:58, 26 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • Seeing as he was an ironworker by trade, manufacturing sounds plausible to me. From personal experience I know the firm produced its own range of fridges and washing machines like Kelvinator or Westinghouse. I don't think any of the sources say more than "whitegoods" or "whitegoods-maufacturing" but I'd have thought either was enough information regarding the family business, no? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:35, 27 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • (For people who haven't heard the term: "whitegoods" means home appliances, which were typically white from roughly the 1930s through the 1950s.) John and I have looked around and can't find out when white enamel started showing up on home appliances, but I'm guessing it wasn't in the 1890s. You don't say that specifically, but the only date in that section is 1892. So there are a couple of things here that may make the reader pause: the term "whitegoods" doesn't seem apt and probably wasn't in use at the time, and if we're talking about 1892, most readers won't know what appliances you're talking about ... perhaps foot-pedal sewing machines and washing tubs with hand-wringers. - Dank (push to talk) 14:42, 27 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        • Fair enough but I think I'd best use terminology in the source -- perhaps if I simply link whitegoods it'd help? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:15, 28 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Between the wars", "World War II and after": Per MOS, headings (like titles) are "normally" nouns or noun phrases. You've probably got a better sense of what "normally" means here than I do. I guess you could make the case that these are both occasionally (if not optimally) noun phrases, for instance in "Between the wars was a dangerous time." - Dank (push to talk) 02:18, 28 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • Always open to suggestions here. I sometimes use the term Interwar [or "Inter-war", which I think might be more appropriate in AusEng] years instead of Between the wars -- does that work better? For World War II and after, is World War II and later life an improvement? Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 15:15, 28 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • I'm not sure, but those are less likely to provoke a MOS objection. - Dank (push to talk) 16:32, 28 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • I copyedited the article per my standard disclaimer. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 02:14, 28 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • CommentsSupport
    • No dab links [1] (no action req'd).
    • External links check out [2] (no action req'd).
    • Images have Alt Text [3] (no action req'd).
    • Images all seem to be PD / free and seem to have the req'd information (no action req'd)
    • Captions look fine (no action req'd)
    • No duplicate links (no action req'd)
    • The Citation Check Tool reveals a minor issues with reference consolidation:
      • APSC9 Multiple references are using the same name
    • The Earwig Tool reveal no issues with copyright violation or close paraphrasing [4] (no action req'd)
    • A couple of references probably need to use title case, for instance:
      • # 34 "The late Col. Watt: Tributes in church and cemetery"
      • # 49 "The bombing of Darwin 19 February 1942 – the RAAF experience"
      • # 53 "Social news and gossip"
      • # 54 "Sydney's talking about"
        • My understanding for a long time has been that article titles use sentence case, but if I've missed something at MOS I'll be happy to revisit. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:27, 3 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • Other than these very minor points I couldn't find any real issues. Anotherclown (talk) 08:27, 3 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • Tks mate -- I also tweaked a repeat instance of "Colonel Watt" in this article based on your comment in the Les Holden review. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:27, 3 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        • No worries. You forced me to examine my own assumed knowledge about the MOS. Per MOS:ALLCAPS it says: "Reduce newspaper headlines and other titles from all caps to sentence case or title case", so I guess neither is wrong. Anotherclown (talk) 09:27, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support Nice work as always Ian. I think that the A class criteria are met here, and I have only the following suggestions:

  • "he was apprenticing as a mechanic at Malley's" - could this be "he was an apprentice mechanic at Malley's" given that 'apprenticing' is uncommon usage (especially given this is typically a long-term arrangement)
  • "He subsequently toured the country in support of the Peace Loan" - could 'in support of' be replaced with 'to promote' or similar to make this sentence clearer?
  • "That April, he was a member of the citizens' committee responsible for organising and funding the search for the missing Southern Cross and its crew." - given that the aircraft survived this incident, a little bit more background on what the crisis was might be helpful here (especially as the article on the plane doesn't mention it) Nick-D (talk) 10:40, 6 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • Tks Nick -- agree all those, will do. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:15, 6 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support: nothing for me to pick fault with that I could see. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 21:34, 15 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]


The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.