Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Thomas Hines

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Thomas Hines[edit]

Failed --Eurocopter (talk) 16:22, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

One of my favorite characters in the ACW, I think he would make a fascinating FA, especially for my first FA. I know I'll need to improve the map on the article (either once again get the book to take a better pic, or absolutely redo it) but other than that, is it A-class, and if not, what does it need?--King Bedford I Seek his grace 20:56, 25 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Looks very good. You need to upgrade the format of your References section (which needs to be renamed from Sources) to conform to WP:REF, including the addition of ISBNs wherever possible. I am not a fan of the multiple adjacent footnote style; consider grouping cites in the same place into a single footnote, separated by semicolons. Can you increase the size of the comparison photo? My default thumb size is 300px and it displays much smaller than that. (Continue to use thumb as the size, but try to increase the source image itself.) Hal Jespersen (talk) 00:17, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Only three of the books had ISBNs, but I redid the References. If I increase the comparison pic, then the Hines part would look bad. As for footnotes, I can, but I will see if anyoen else has a problem with it.--King Bedford I Seek his grace 04:01, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I tried to use Photoshop to come up with a larger version. It looks fine on my system, but somehow the Wikipedia software is distorting it in an uncomfortable way, so I reverted the effort. I guess it is not too important. Never mind. Hal Jespersen (talk) 16:01, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment. While this article has potential, it still has some issues to work out. Masonic University is a glaring, ugly redlink right in the lead, you might want to start a stub on that. Also, can you get one of the little confederate flags in the infobox, for allegiance? The number of cousins in the Confederate army needs a citation. Also, cite the specifics of Hines' Raid, in the 1863 section. The following sentence makes no sense and has a grammatical error in it: "Hines learned how to capture the riverboats Alice Dean and the John T. McCombs, that enabled Morgan to transport his 2000+ men across the Ohio River." What's the point of learning how, did he ever actually capture them? Also, make sure all citations possible are combined, I noticed a couple from the Horan book, so check the rest to make sure they're combined. Besides those it looks OK, but you should fix all those issues and of course whatever other reviewers bring up before it will be 100% ready for A-class. Borg Sphere (talk) 21:19, 29 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think I took care of you concerns. I didn't see any other flags denoting allegiance in avrious other ACW bios, so I didn't add them. Also, is there really a need for more cites in Hines Raid section; looks like that one should cover it all.--King Bedford I Seek his grace 04:58, 30 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • OK, looks good now. I see what you mean about the other bios, and the Hines raid section is OK. Good job on the article. Borg Sphere (talk) 20:57, 3 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've put everything I could find about his early life already in the article. Also, I think the intro is succinct in giving the quick rundown of the article, with no omissions.--King Bedford I Seek his grace 00:36, 6 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Given the size of the article, the lead warrants some expansion.
  • On the subject of the lead, is the fact that he resembles Booth really necessary in the lead? It's never mentioned again in the article, and doesn't appear to be terribly important. Mention it somewhere else, but not in the lead. Regards, Cam (Chat) 21:14, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • My main concern is the references (Criterion A1). First, the article has several unattributed quotes (the citation should immediately follow the quoted text, and every quote needs citing). Second, there aren't that many of them. Third, the average density, one citation per paragraph, simply isn't enough for an A-class article.
  • It would be good to see the multi-citation (refname=) used to de-duplicate citations.
  • Not every article is capable of becoming a FA, simply because the sources don't exist to support it. Is this the case here?
  • The prose (Criterion A4) lets itself down in places and it could therefore do with a vigorous copyedit buy a dispassionate copy-editor. For instance, in the "1863" section, there's this one long single-sentence paragraph:
"After wandering around Kentucky for a week, Hines rejoined General Morgan at Brandenburg, Kentucky. Colonel Basil W. Duke made a disparaging comment in his memoirs about how Hines appeared on the Brandenburg riverfront, saying Hines was "apparently the most listless inoffensive youth that was ever imposed upon"; despite being Morgan's second-in-command, Colonel Duke was usually not told of all the espionage Hines was carrying out, causing some to believe that Hines and Duke did not like each other, which was not the case.[8]"
  • The disbanding of the Guides is mentioned without any prior introduction. Who were they?
  • MoS stuff: The dates probably need delinking (as that's the way the wind is currently blowing)
  • Some measurements still need metric conversion. There's a neat template for this: {{convert}}.
All the best, --ROGER DAVIES talk 15:57, 15 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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