Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/USS New Mexico (BB-40)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

No consensus to promote at this time - Peacemaker67 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 04:06, 26 September 2015 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

USS New Mexico (BB-40)[edit]

Nominator(s): Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk)

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because... it seems to meet all expectations for A-class. It is my first battleship article that seems to be able to make it up here. Launched in 1917 and commissioned soon after. She escorted the ship carrying Pres. Woodrow Wilson to France for the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. She was involved as a test ship in the development of PID controllers, and was put on Atlantic neutrality patrol in 1940. She was scrambled to the Pacific in 1941 and accidentally rammed into a freighter off Nantucket Lightship. She participated in many bombardments of islands in the Pacific and was put on Operation Magic Carpet duty. After a disagreement between officials, she was scrapped in Newark, New Jersey in 1947–1948 It passed a GA back in July and had a recent DYK. I hope this passes. Thanks for your comments, Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 17:36, 19 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments: G'day, thanks for your efforts with this article. I have the following comments/suggestions: AustralianRupert (talk) 01:38, 22 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I made a start at copy editing, but I think it probably needs a bit more work before it is up to A-class standards and I think it is beyond my skill level (sorry). Do you have a copy editor that you could ask to take a run through the article? @Dank: Not sure if you are keen, but if you are, would you mind potentially having a look at this article?

I'll be putting it on WP:GOCE soon.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 13:35, 22 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

with regards to the access dates for your web citations, I suggest adjusting the date format so it is consistent with the rest of the article Done
From a MOS perspective "File:USS New Mexico BB-40 1921.jpg" would probably be better if it faced into the article. Done

I've swapped the infobox image with this one now, which I think solves the problem. AustralianRupert (talk) 08:57, 23 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I suggest deleting the "Battle of Newark Bay" header as it seems redundant to the Post war header Done
in the Awards section, were these awards actually presented to the ship, or to personnel who served on her? I suggest potentially adding a sentence to clarify this. Done

Your change looks good, I wonder about whether a note should be added though, explaining the process. How can a ship be awarded a medal? Not a warstopper for me, if the information is a bit too esoteric, but I think it might add to the readers' understanding. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 08:57, 23 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I will try to take another look in a week or so. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 01:38, 22 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry, AR, but no, I'm not taking copyediting requests until I get some things off my plate. - Dank (push to talk) 11:08, 22 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, no worries, Dan, thanks for getting back to me. Hope you are well. Cheers, AustralianRupert (talk) 11:37, 22 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I think the point about the destruction of the eight Shinyo suicide boats probably could be explained in a bit more detail as it seems significant. AustralianRupert (talk) 08:57, 23 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose From a quick look at the article, I found a significant number of factual errors in the section on 1945:

"She fought under a sky of Japanese suicide planes" - obvious exaggeration Done
"She fired the pre-invasion shelling of Lingayen Gulf" - the bombardment force was large, but the current wording suggests that only New Mexico was involved Done
"The designated commander of the British Pacific Fleet (Bruce Fraser) narrowly escaped death while on her bridge" - Fraser was the actual commander of the fleet Done
"Her heavy guns opened up on Okinawa on 26 March. Her guns were not silent until 17 April" - the ship obviously didn't fire her guns continuously for almost a month as this loose wording implies Done
I'm also a bit concerned about the sourcing: there's a heavy reliance on DANFS, which needs to be used with great care given its a US Navy source whose authors often omitted embarrassing topics, and "USS New Mexico (BB-40): The Queen's Story in the Words of Her Men" is from an obscure publisher which doesn't seem to even have a website - are you sure that it's a reliable source? Nick-D (talk) 01:17, 23 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I should also note that the level of detail provided on the ship's history is considerably less than other A-class articles on American battleships - there are lots of sources which can be tapped on this topic. Nick-D (talk) 08:16, 1 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. As a copyeditor, I rarely oppose ... either I dig in and help fix problems, or I don't. I might be wrong, but per Nick, I get the sense that I can't fix the problems here ... and copyediting would probably make things worse rather than better, because it's the things that don't sound quite right that provide clues concerning what might need to be fixed. So, largely per Nick, I'm opposing for now. - Dank (push to talk) 12:11, 31 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.