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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Battle of Fort Sumter

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I am not a contributor to the article (yet) but I am going to try to usher it through FA review in time for the April 12th 150th anniversary. This is in connection with Operation Brothers at War. I realize time is short, but I am willing to work hard and hopefully it can be done. I think we would be missing a big opportunity if we let this anniversary pass. Any suggestions on improving the article would be most appreciated. Historical Perspective (talk) 12:36, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Dank

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You haven't made any edits to the article. I'd prefer that you at least read the article thoroughly first and make your own edits and suggestions before the reviewers get to work. Also, User:Hlj is "actively involved with this article and may be able to help with questions about verification and sources"; he should be contacted. - Dank (push to talk) 15:21, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I've most definitely read the article thoroughly. Personally, I find it to be comprehensive and well written. I have no bright ideas as far as significant changes and therefore I have come here for suggestions. About a month and a half ago, I contacted the top three contributors to the article (North Shoreman, Hlj and JimWae) to let them know about my intention to nominate the article for FA and seeking suggestions. I have, just now, made some mostly minor edits including adding some photographs and alt text. But beyond that, I would very much appreciate advice from reviewers. Historical Perspective (talk) 18:38, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

David Fuchs

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Hopefully more will be coming, but some quick comments for now:

  • "The Civil War had begun."→This seems unnecessary and a bit too informal, especially as it repeats content already in the lead.
  • There's some redundant wording throughout that can be cut--use Tony1's exercises as a guide (ex., "However, it had been designed essentially as a gun platform for defending the harbor")

--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 01:38, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

In the interest of time, I am going to move ahead with FAC. If any has thoughts on this article, I would appreciate their comments there. Thanks. Historical Perspective (talk) 15:21, 9 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]