Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/M22 Locust

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M22 Locust[edit]

I'd like to get this article to FA level, but I did it in two sort of 'spurts' and it might have a few prose problems, for example. So I'd like some comments on it so I can improve it. Skinny87 (talk) 21:29, 14 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cam[edit]

I'm in the process of doing a technical copyedit to ensure that all of the refs are combined properly. That said, I have several suggestions with regard to content and format:

  • The section "Development History" is big; really big. For the sake of ease of reading, would it be possible to split this into smaller sections?
  • Lead is a bit on the huge side as well, could you condense this a bit perhaps? (trim the wording, shift some of it to the actual sections..remember that the lead is only supposed to be an intro;)
  • The last section mentions that the Egyptians used the tanks during the Arab-Israeli War. Would it be possible for this to be expanded upon (ie did they survive? what major battles were they involved in? why were the egyptians using obsolete tanks? how well did they fare against Israeli tanks?).
  • Could the specifications statistics be cited directly in the infobox?

That's all I got for you at the moment. All the best in taking the article to FA :) Cam (Chat) 01:33, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers Cam. I'll get all of that done, except the bit on the Egyptians. All the info I have on the use of Locusts by the Egyptians that comes from reliable sources is in that little bit. The rest comes from an online forum posting in Russian (and to be honest, all that says is that the Egyptians possessed some, gives a few numbers, and no details of any battles). Skinny87 (talk) 11:46, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The article Operation Asaf by Amiad Brezner (Shiryon magazine 07/1999, Brezner is well known author of books on IDF history) mentions Egyptian Army using Locusts on 6 Dec 1948 in the attack on Israeli positions around Sheikh Nuran. See my talk page.
Also, Zaloga does not say that Locusts replaced Mk IV; both types were used by Egyptians in 1948. Bukvoed (talk) 07:32, 12 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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