Wikipedia:WikiProject Novels/Peer review/Naked Lunch

Naked Lunch

I've been working on cleaning this up recently and I want to get it to GA status. Any kind of comment or guidance would be great, I know that the Characters section needs some work so don't comment on that unless you have a specific point mucho thanks HangedJonny (talk) 01:31, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

Possibly ill-informed review

The lead section could definitely use some work, particularly the single sentence first paragraph. The phrase "it can be argued" in "Plot introduction" should be changed to either indicate that such an argument has been made and by whom or removed. "and his addiction to drugs (notably heroin and morphine)" in "Plot introduction" is a bit of a dangling clause, and should be altered to better integrate into the main sentence. The "he" in "as much as he wants to share" is vague and should be clarified. "taboo fantasties" should be elaborated one somewhere, as there is no clear indication as to what is being referred to. "have led to much controversy" is another phrase which could use clarification, regarding what controversy there has been. "Plot summary" has the phrase "decapitating people and imitating a pirate", which reads strangely phrased, as one would think the latter significantly less important. It should possibly be broken up or changed to indicate that it is describing things chronologically. "Hassan is not too pleased with this" indicates that Hassan is somewhat pleased with it. Is that true? If not, alter phrasing. Sentence structuring throughout could use some work. The sections on the parties could use sourcing to indicate that the statements there aren't OR. The last three paragraphs of "Literary significance and reception" could use at least one reference apiece. First paragraph of "Allusions in other works" could be broken into at least two, starting with "Several characters..." Trivia section should probably be sourced, author of "Move Under Ground" should be mentioned by name. Citations for the last two paragraphs of "Film adaptation" should be added as well. I know that looks like a lot, and it is, but most of it relates to comparatively minor points and can probably be fixed rather quickly. It probably wouldn't reach GA without several of those changes being made, though. John Carter (talk) 13:47, 3 April 2008 (UTC)