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TFA blurb review

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Gaulois was one of three Charlemagne-class pre-dreadnought battleships built for the French Navy in the mid-1890s and was completed in 1899. Most of the ship's career was spent assigned to the Mediterranean Squadron. The battleship accidentally rammed two other French warships, although none of the ships involved were seriously damaged. When World War I began in August 1914, the vessel escorted troop convoys before sailing to the Dardanelles in November to guard against a possible sortie by the ex-German Ottoman battlecruiser, Yavuz Sultan Selim. In 1915, Gaulois joined British ships in bombarding Ottoman fortifications, was badly damaged during a bombardment in March, and had to be beached to avoid sinking. Refloated, the ship was sent to Toulon for repairs, returning to the Dardanelles to cover the Allied evacuation in January 1916. En route to the Dardanelles again after a refit, Gaulois was torpedoed on 27 December by a German submarine and sank with the loss of four crewmen. (Full article...)


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Hi Sturm and congratulations. A draft blurb for this article is above. Thoughts, comments and edits from you or from anyone else interested are welcome. Gog the Mild (talk) 10:10, 15 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The second sentence seems a bit abrupt. Is there room for the original "spent most of her career assigned to"? Forgive me, but I'm on the road for the next couple of days so I won't have my full suite of bookmarks to check for myself.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 11:28, 15 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Sturmvogel 66: Well, we are close to the deadline, and the folk putting together the main page don't like ships being referred to as "she" - no, I have no idea why either. I have tweaked along the lines you suggested and saved a few characters elsewhere. See what you think. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:53, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I cut one extraneous "the", but otherwise looked fine.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:51, 18 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]