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Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Going, Going, Gone (Grey's Anatomy)/archive1

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Addressed comments from TBrandley[edit]

Comments

  • As noted above, in case new sources and information come up, I would holded this for a week or two, but this wouldn't be promoted right away. I still agree, however, that it may be a bit too soon to nominate, as it passed GA yesterday, but, hey, it is ready. My thoughts are below.
  • The "" quote marks in the first sentence shouldn't be bolded, it isn't done in any episode articles I've seen
  • "and the show's 173rd episode overall" I don't really believe that is important to the subject, nor is it expanded upon in the article
  • I know your opposed this change at GA, but I think it should happen for FA, "18–49 demographic" needs to be explained, as in "Nightswimming", as some people simply don't understand, or no what it is
  • Some say "Grey's Anatomy centers around a group of young doctors in training", this says "Grey's Anatomy centers around a group of physicians struggling to balance their professional lives with their personal lives", perhaps this season focuses on the second storyline
    • It needs to be changed at the others, but that's irrelevant to this article. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:30, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "must cope" remove must
  • "Eric Dane's character" and that is?
  • ""Going, Going, Gone" was generally regarded as disconsolate among critics" I would use "from"
    • That's not proper English. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:30, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Perhaps changing to the active voice would read better. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:23, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
        • I don't know what you mean; can you post what you want it to look like here or update it in the article? TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 22:36, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
          • Sorry, that was an English teacher response. ""Going, Going, Gone" was generally regarded..." = passive (the subject is having something done to it). If the sentence read "Critics generally regarded "Going, Going, Gone" as disconsolate" (active, the subject is doing something) it may be easier to read and more engaging. Also, there were a couple other comments from the critics (including that it wasn't much of a surprise). Perhaps that could be worked in. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:53, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
            • I changed the sentence both in the lead and in reception. However, I don't know which critical quotes you're referring to. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 23:04, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • " season eight finale" perhaps two separate links, one to "season eight", the other linked to the "finale"
    • I don't think that's necessary; the readers wouldn't know there are 2 links. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:30, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'd add a 'background' section in plot, then go onto the story arcs of this episode, for someone who has never seen the show. See "Nightswimming", an FA.
    • The plot of GA is not complicated like Awake. Per other articles, including GPAC, it's not needed. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:30, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "operating room" in plot; it says nothing about a operating room, explain?
    • A reader can comprehend what an operating room at a hospital is. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 19:30, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "surprises his fiancée Dr. Miranda Bailey (Chandra Wilson) with an unexpected visit" you say "surprise" then "unexpected". Kinda repetitive.
  • "Running for approximately 43 minutes" not important for prose of article
  • "E! Online" surely someone wrote for them, not the website/company itself
  • "Los Feliz, Los Angeles" two separate links?
  • "Rhimes wrote that anything other than the character dying would entail him leaving his daughter behind, something the writers did not want" it looks like some of that may need to be quoted
  • "saying it was the type of episode that" check grammar and wording
  • "time-slot" remove hyphen
  • "previous season premiere" again, two different wikilinks?
  • "CBS's" remove s from "'s", as the original word ends with "S"
  • "The episode's initial script read-through took place on July 16, 2012.[5] The scenes in the operating room were filmed at the Prospect Studios in Los Feliz, Los Angeles" two the's one after other, perhaps change
  • Ref. 2 is missing episode no.
  • Use regular quotes (') rather than curly quotes, as seen in ref. 24, 29, and the article's quote box, etc.

TBrandley 02:05, 3 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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