Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Neil Armstrong/archive3

Neil Armstrong (1930–2012) was an astronaut and aeronautical engineer who was the first person to walk on the Moon. He was a United States Naval Aviator who served in the Korean War and later worked as a test pilot. Armstrong joined the NASA Astronaut Corps in the second group, selected in 1962, and made his first spaceflight as commander of Gemini 8 in March 1966, becoming NASA's first civilian astronaut to fly in space. During this mission with pilot David Scott, he completed the first docking of two spacecraft. In July 1969, Armstrong and Apollo 11 Lunar Module pilot Buzz Aldrin performed the first crewed Moon landing, and spent two and a half hours outside the spacecraft while Michael Collins remained in lunar orbit in the Command Module Columbia. When Armstrong stepped onto the lunar surface, he famously said: "That's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind." He was later awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Congressional Space Medal of Honor, and Congressional Gold Medal. (Full article...)

@Dank, Hawkeye7, and Kees08: What do you think this first draft?--- Coffeeandcrumbs 10:23, 17 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

That's 1154 characters ... blurbs are 925 to 1025. This is a useful character counter. - Dank (push to talk) 12:24, 17 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I cut the minor details about the Gemini 8 mission being cut short. Sorry, I didn't know about the character count requirement. This is 1012 characters now.--- Coffeeandcrumbs 18:06, 17 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

We need to work "US" or "American" somewhere into the first or second sentence if possible ... or maybe we don't (Laser brain complained about that requirement in a recent post), but if we don't, we'll probably get complaints and edits at the WP:ERRORS stage. Avoid slashes per WP:SLASH unless you've got solid backing for it (and I don't think you do, since the article title at the link doesn't have a slash). Find a way to reword "famously"; sometimes it works to just omit it, sometimes there are other ways to get the idea across. Otherwise, I have no objections, but Hawkeye and Kees may want to fiddle with it. - Dank (push to talk) 18:14, 17 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]