Talk:Generalissimo (30 Rock)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: María (habla conmigo) 14:28, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'll be reviewing this article for GA. Overall it seems very good; although short, it covers all important areas of the subject matter, and reads well. My main concern stems from the state of the prose, which could use some clean-up; see below for specific comments. Here is how it stands against the criteria:

  1. Well-written: For the most part; see issues below.
  2. Factually accurate and verifiable: Yes.
  3. Broad in its coverage: Yes.
  4. Neutral: Yes.
  5. Stable: Yes.
  6. Illustrated, if possible, by images: Yes.
Prose
  • It is my understanding that lead/supporting actors who Emmys do so because of their work throughout the show's season, and not one particular episode. Alec Baldwin won for 30 Rock. If "Generalissimo" was sent out to Emmy voters as a "for your consideration" tape, that should be stated in lieu of "he won the Emmy for this episode"; in truth, he did not.
    • According to here, this was the episode submitted to the Emmy people for Baldwin to get recognition. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:02, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
      • That's my point exactly, though: it was meant as an example of Baldwin's work on the show, and that is why he won the Emmy for the show, and not this episode in particular. That it was went to voters can be noted (and should be noted), but the statement that is currently in the article is misleading. María (habla conmigo) 15:26, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
        • So, do you want me to add this ---> "Alec Baldwin submitted this episode for consideration on his behalf in the category for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards"? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
          • If he chose and sent the tape himself, then yes. :) Otherwise, perhaps "This episode was submitted for consideration on the behalf of Alec Baldwin..." etc? María (habla conmigo) 16:34, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • While this plan initially appears to work, things wrong when Liz accidentally gives Drew rohypnol and he finds some of his opened mail in her apartment... -- "things go wrong"? Also, this sentence makes it sound like the effect of taking rohypnol makes one find their mail in Liz Lemon's apartment. Perhaps change to, "before he passes out, he finds..."?
    • No, when he "accidentally" takes the rohypnol, he collapses and the bag falls on the floor, thus his mail falling from the inside.
  • Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) meets Elisa's grandmother (Teresa Yenque), as Elisa is Jack's girlfriend. -- Used here, "as" is awkward and confusing; "meets his girlfriend Elisa's grandmother"?
    • Done.
  • ...and his final guest spot was in "The Bubble". -- This is out of date, since Hamm appeared for a fourth time this season during Liz's drugged out, post-oral surgery hallucination.
  • ...involving Liz and Drew and Jack Elisa... -- Missing an "and"
    • Done.
  • Writing for The Monterey County Herald Marc Cabrera notes Jack's interactions with Elisa's grandmother... -- "noted" not "notes"; keep with the past tense throughout.
  • Further in his review, Poniewozik said that he most enjoys episodes in which Liz shows her "evil side"... -- "enjoyed" not "enjoys".
    • Done [on both].

Overall minor concerns, although the Emmy comment needs to be clarified twice, both in the lead and in "Critical reception". Fix the above, and I'll be more than happy to promote this to GA-status. María (habla conmigo) 14:28, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review, I appreciate it. :) I hope I've addressed your concerns. If not, I'll work harder. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:02, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Made a couple additional comments above. Thanks for your quick responses! María (habla conmigo) 15:26, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Replied to your comments. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]


Awesome, this article is now ready to be promoted. Thanks for your hard work, and congrats! María (habla conmigo) 17:57, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to review the article. :) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 17:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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