Talk:Say Say Say/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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This article is very well-written and is close to being a Good Article. I had a few questions and concerns, however.
Lead:
- "McCartney's "War sessions" - "War" is not the album title, and the article on "Tug of War" doesn't mention the recording sessions being called the "War sessions". Is this an actual title for them?
- It's called the "War sessions" in my reference book. I've reworded it because it doesn't mention it in that article.
Recording:
- "for the Thriller album" - it would probably be better to specify "for Jackson's Thriller album"
- Done
Release and reception:
- "logged Jackson sixteen weeks at the top" - is this sixteen combined weeks?
- Added 'combined' in
- "The song owed its UK success to an interview with McCartney" - this part was a little confusing. It took a little while to figure it out...was the song released, somewhat popular for a little while, decling in popularity, and then propelled to number two on the charts by McCartney's interview. If so, it would help to make the sequence a little more clear. As it is now, it kind of jumps around.
- I've rearranged it
- "Top of the Pops—who usually only screened videos within the Top 40—" - a couple of things here. It seems a little strange to refer to the show as "who" instead of "which". It also looks really awkward to have a dash immediately before a comma. Perhaps parentheses could be used here: "Top of the Pops (who/which usually only screened videos within the Top 40), The Tube..."
- Done
- "Entitled "Say Say Say (Waiting For U)", Hi-Tack, took the song..." - this has a misplaced modifier. I think what you want to say is "Hi-Tack took the song, entitled "Say Say Say (Waiting For U), to number four..."
- Done
Music video:
- "Filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, McCartney had to" - this has another misplaced modifier. The video, not McCartney was filmed in Santa Ynez Valley. Perhaps "It was filmed in Santa Ynez Valley, California, and McCartney had to..."
- Done
- "to an arm wrestle" - this is a bit awkward. I would say "to arm wrestle" or "to an arm wrestling match" (or arm wrestling contest)
- Done
- "Upon Jackson winning the arm wrestle" - same thing here. What about "Upon Jackson winning the match" (or contest) or simply "Upon Jackson winning".
- Done
- "earnt" - opinion is kind of split on this word. Some say it's not a word at all; others say it's just archaic. "earned" might be a better choice"
- Done
- "the National Coalition of Television Violence classified the music video as too violent to be aired" - the description of the video doesn't sound violent at all. Am I missing something?
- I think it was the arm wrestle that they felt was 'violent' :)
- "described the video as "anarchic caper" - an anarchic caper, perhaps?
- Done
- "the music video turns "a pair of otherwise forgettable songs..." - which other song makes up this pair?
- Added
Images:
- The main infobox image states that it is low resolution because it is less than 500 pixels. 225 pixels x 217 pixels is almost 49,000 pixels, however. I believe the image qualifies as fair use, but I think the "less than 500px." should be removed (unless I am misunderstanding something).
I will place this nomination on hold to allow for these concerns to be addressed and/or discussed. I have both the article and this review page on my watchlist, so any comments can be left here. As I said before, there are just a few minor concerns, so I hope to be able to promote this article soon. Best wishes, GaryColemanFan (talk) 15:12, 22 March 2009 (UTC)
- Everything looks good now, so I'm promoting the article. Thanks for the quick replies. GaryColemanFan (talk) 19:44, 22 March 2009 (UTC)