Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Alpha Kappa Alpha

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted 04:36, 22 January 2008.

Alpha Kappa Alpha[edit]

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I have worked on this article for about a year. The relevant list of members is a featured list, see List of Alpha Kappa Alpha sisters. I think this article would be excellent to be featured on Wikipedia, especially since AKA's centennial is coming up in January 15. The article failed GA twice because of some sources being only from the AKA book. However, other editors have came and added sources from different books. If other editors don't think this is up to FA par, please leave suggestions here, and I will address them in order to bring this up to FA. Thanks. miranda 09:39, 25 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

  • Still very Weak Support Oppose (but nearly-there-need-to-tweak-a-few-things-very-sorry-honestly-want-article-to-pass-but...) for now. I am really sorry but here are some examples below. The frequency I am finding things in the first few paras leads me to think I'll find many more. If you want I can go through and try to fix some stuff later. I appreciate you've done alot of work and it's an interesting subject and I'll try to do what I can to get it nearer the finish line. cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:11, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

OK - I am satisfied you're into the 'credit' side of things than the 'debit'...still feel the text could do with a little tweaking but I can't see anything that sticks out. I'll see what else I can find later. cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:53, 17 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

one-third of 1% - eek! why not 0.3% - I know we say it like the former but looks really odd written.

 Done - fixed miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The founders were the leaders of their generation at college and afterward, as they proceeded to accomplish many firsts. - erm, 'founders' looks a bit odd as it is repeated from 2 sentences beforehand. Also, adding some 'firsts' would be good as it really just hangs in the air how it is.
 Done I changed this, and merged the two sentences. miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The leadership the sixteen exhibited in setting up the sorority has continued to create social and economic capital for almost one hundred years. - is this what you mean -the leadership created the capital or is it the sorority. Currently the sentence indicates the former but it sounds funny.
 Done I didn't add that someone else did. But, I fixed the sentence. miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
have led education of generations - why not just 'educated'?
 Done Some, but not many AKAs, are not teachers. So, in this case it would be led. However, I changed the text to say "formed educational initiatives" miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
centennial anniversary - I'd use 'centenary' instead.
 Done miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

:Beginning in Spring 1907 - 'From Spring 1907' is simpler

 Done Beginning taken out. miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Actually I can see some issues as words are repeated quite often. You need to try and reduce this without making ambiguity. eg. ...future husband George Lyle. Lyle was a.. , Sorority mentioned too many times in 2nd paragraph of Beginnings: 1907–1912

 Done Lyle, who was a charter member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity's Beta chapter at Howard in 1907. miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I didn't add that. Someone else did. I will fix that. Also, I don't want it "near the finish line", I want it "at or past the finish line". XD miranda 17:03, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Looking alot better - now this sentence:
To expand the sorority at Howard, new members were initiated. - seems to just sit there and add to repetition. Can it be removed or merged into the next a bit?cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:12, 27 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Alpha Kappa Alpha continued to grow at Howard. miranda 04:19, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"establish a national organization, enlarge the scope of activities of the sorority, change its name and symbols, and be more politically oriented." - surely this can be rephrased without quotation marks, it isn't asif the exact words are memorable. cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:55, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The words are memorable, because that's what the group of twenty-two wanted to do in order to separate and form Delta Sigma Theta. I took the quotes out. miranda 04:19, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

::...adding their support to a major issue of the day. - looks vague. Specifying the issue or rephrasing with previouis bit about the March would read better.cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:57, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

AKAs didn't participate in the march. I took this out. miranda 05:00, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

::The sorority continued to grow in membership with additional resources. - what resources? Needs explanation. cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:58, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Financial resources. Yet, I deleted this sentence. miranda 05:00, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
In summer 1935, Ida Jackson focused on addressing the region's poverty and established a health clinic. - erm, the bolded part comes across as vague and wordy. Maybe best removed or worded differently (?) cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:41, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done In summer 1935, Ida Jackson focused on poverty and established a regional health clinic. miranda 05:50, 28 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose It looks like a lot of work has been put into this article, but I think it needs quite a bit more to be FA status. First and foremost, it needs a thorough copyedit from an uninterested party. Part of the article reads a touch more like an advertisement than an encyclopedia to me and I see a lot of WP:PROSELINE. You might want to contact the League of Copyeditors. Here are some other specific issues that need to be addressed.
    • Last sentence of first paragraph of lead is very unwieldy
Alpha Kappa Alpha's document and pictorial archives are located at Moorland-Spingarn Research Center and is part of the National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC). The current International President is Barbara A. McKinzie. - fixed
Wrong sentence -- I was referring to the first paragraph of the lead - "Being students at one of the top two historically black institutions in the nation at a time when only 0.3% of African Americans attended college, the founders and incorporators accomplished and broke many barriers"
 Done I deleted this sentence. miranda 17:29, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • Lead references "According to Brown" without mentioning who that is; same problem when referring to "Giddings" - the first time the article needs to say who that is (at the very least include the first name)
 Done According to Delta Sigma Theta historian Paula Giddings, the group of members wanted to establish a national organization, enlarge the scope of activities of the sorority, change its name and symbols, and be more politically oriented.
    • Please see WP:DASH - should never have an mdash with spaces around it
 Done Fixed. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • Is it necessary to point out when the centenary is when the foundation date is already in the lead?
Fixed "centary in 2008". miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I don't think you need to mention the centenary at all in the lead. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Sentence deleted. miranda 17:12, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • first paragraph of history section concerns
Did Ethel Robinson and Ethel Hedgeman share an experience in a sorority at Brown University, or was Ethel Robinson relating her experiences to Hedgeman?
Fixed. A Howard faculty member, Ethel Robinson, encouraged Hedgeman and shared her Brown University sorority experiences. miranda 06:42, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
That leaves the same pronoun issue that is already in the sentence. I think you mean, "A Howard faculty member, Ethel Robinson, encouraged Hedgeman by relating her own experiences in a sorority at Brown University." Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

 Done miranda 16:19, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

What did Ethel Robinson do in the spring to lead the effort to create it if she began recruiting in summer of 1907? miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
She shared the idea with Ethel Hedgeman to form a sorority? If you are referring to Ethel Hedgeman, she recruited members and designed the constitution. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
You're right, I meant the other Ethel. The paragraph says that she didn't begin recruiting until summer, so there is no information on what efforts she led in the spring.

Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

 Done There weren't any efforts that she led AKA in the spring. There isn't any information concerning that. Maybe they were studying? miranda 16:19, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • I recommend removing the dates from the history section headings. It looks odd that there is no section for 1913–1920, etc.
I fixed the 1913-1920 gap. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Is there a reason that any of the dates need to stay? Usually dates aren't included in the headings. 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)

 Not done Yes, the dates need to stay in order to navigate the periods of the sorority. Again, see another featured article, Alpha Phi Alpha which does the same thing. miranda 17:12, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

    • I recommend combining the first two sections of the history section as they are both fairly small and are both concerned with the efforts to get the sorority firmly established
No. They deal with two different concepts. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
It's four paragraphs total. I think you should be able to come up with a heading that describes both of them. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

 Not done again, they deal with two different concepts. miranda 17:26, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

    • Can you explain what a Boule' is for those of us who are not/were not involved in Greek life?
The Boulé is the regulating institution of the sorority and currently meets every two years.[1] ? miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Can you explain it earlier in the article, perhaps? I know that is is mentioned in a section near the end of the article, but the article uses the term long before the explanation occurs, which will confuse people. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

 Not done No, not really. The Boule is a part of membership in the sorority. It's better suited in membership. miranda 16:45, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The term may make sense to you to be in membership, but I kept reading about various "Boule"s in the history section and I had no idea what that meant; I suspect most of your readers won't either. Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done I will put a sentence which describes the Boule, then link it to the section.

Alpha Kappa Alpha began to unite members at the annual Boulé, the sorority's governing body. miranda 00:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

    • The first sentence in the first paragraph of the Expansion... section seems to have little to do with the rest of its paragraph.
  • The Expansion... section does not flow well.
    • Need non-breaking spaces between numbers and their units/qualifiers
Please provide an example. miranda 17:07, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
See WP:NBSP for more details. Examples: twenty-two members, 48 adults, 243 school children, etc. Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I fixed the 24 year-old issue, if that's what you are talking about. miranda 00:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "Throughout the 1950s and 1970s"...did nothing happen in the 1960s?
Yes, see 1964. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The sentence reads "Throughout the 1950s and 1970s, ..." which makes it sound that the things in that sentence did not occur in the 1960s. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I included sixties. miranda 17:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Throughout the fifties, sixties, and seventies, members helped to sponsor job training, reading enrichment, heritage, and youth programs. miranda 17:58, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • A lot of the history section reads more like proseline -a list of events in prose.
I haven't seen a lot of effort put into fixing this. Have you thought about finding an unrelated copyeditor yet? Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I filed a request with the copyeditors two weeks ago, and they haven't responded. miranda 00:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • There seems to be text missing in the paragraph about the deaths of High and Saafir
Like? miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • All full dates need to be wikilinked so that date preferences will work.
 Done I think I fully linked the dates. miranda 17:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • There should not be a template in the middle of the article. The International Presidents section should be removed and the template moved to the bottom of hte article.
Not really, see Alpha Phi Alpha, another featured article. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
From WP:Template namespace, Templates should not masquerade as article content in the main article namespace. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done I added text to this section. miranda 17:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Adding text doesn't remove the fact that the template is acting as article content, which is not the intent of a template. 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)

(reduce indent) Again, there is a summary before the template, which isn't presented in Alpha Phi Alpha, a featured article. I don't have time to list the presidents. miranda 00:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

    • The Boule section is much too short to be a full section, and section headers should not begin with "the"
Fixed. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Um, it looks the same as it did. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Um, I fixed it to just saying "Boule". The section had a table, but due to concerns on the talk page, the table was taken out. miranda 17:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I still think the section is much too short to stand on its own, and that the first sentence which describes what a Boule is should be earlier in the article. Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
No, not really. The Boule should be separated, since it is the governing body of the sorority. The section had a table before, but the information is separated into a different article. miranda 00:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Per WP:EL, there should not be external links in the body of the article (see Regions)
 Done I deleted the EL. miranda 17:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • Quotes should be better incorporated into the text (Linda Evans and Laura Bush quotes especially)
 Done miranda 01:06, 3 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
There's another quote, by Barbara K. Phillips, which is offset and shouldn't be (see WP:MOSQUOTE)
 Done Incorporated and fixed. miranda 00:55, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Image captions should only end with a period if it is a full sentence.
 Done Fixed. miranda 17:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
No, the image in Projects section is not a complete sentence and ends with a period. Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done changed. miranda 00:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • I don't believe the Women in Medicine pamphlet image can be used under fair-use rules. The guidelines state that the particular pamphlet pictured must be discussed in the article, and I don't believe it is.
It's a part of the The Heritage Series'. So, it meets WP:FAIR. miranda 06:31, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The Fair Use licensing for that image specifically states "to illustrate an article discussing the book in question." The book in question (in the picture) is "Women in Medicine", which is not discussed in the article. Therefore, I don't think it falls under fair use. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Altogether, the entire series contained "Women of the Judiciary", "Women in Politics", "Women in Medicine", "Women in Business", and "Women in the Dentistry". miranda 00:25, 1 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Do you have information about how quickly the sorority spread? Where was the second chapter located? When did it spread outside the US?
No, the second chapter is located in Chicago area. I thought that would be too trivial. miranda 06:33, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I think it would be useful at the very least to tell which year a second chapter opened so that readers can judge when the sorority began to expand. Karanacs (talk) 15:53, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Alpha Kappa Alpha continued to grow nationally. A second chapter at the University of Chicago in was chartered in fall 1913.[1] miranda 00:43, 1 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Good luck! Karanacs (talk) 06:06, 30 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry it took me a while to come back; I've struck a few comments and left a few more up there. Please note that although there are a few MOS issues that definitely need to be fixed, my biggest worry is the prose. I think this article fails 1a of the criteria and needs a thorough copyedit. Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Since I'm not an expert in fair use rules, I left a question at Fair use review about the appropriateness of the image of the "Women in Medicine" pamphlet. When the question is answered there I will update here. Karanacs (talk) 16:02, 31 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

See above. miranda
Your changes will make it definitely fall under fair use -- thanks!. Karanacs (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support

  • I strongly support making this article a FA. Also, this article should be featured on 1/15/08. HistoricDST 17:42, 4 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support. Anthøny 22:11, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - I also support this article to be FA and the possibily to be featured on January 15, 2008. Thanks to everyone who helped. It looks great. Thanks especially to HistoricDST for support. Miranda has done a GREAT job!LivelyIvy1908 05:36, 10 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - Great job well done. Wasn't this an FA already? Maybe not then. :P Rudget. 20:29, 10 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Strong Support I strongly support this article to be an FA, the article is well written, detailed and very informational about an organization that has thrived for a century. Please make it an FA by January, 15 (the actually anniversary) Knicksfan4ever 14:03, 11 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - An excellent article which I think meets the criteria. While it won't make the 15th, it will be close. James086Talk | Email 14:01, 14 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
While I know for certain this article will not be featured tomorrow, I think the article will be stable after this week, because the celebrations would be over. If vandalism gets bad tomorrow, I think we should semi-protect the article. miranda 18:43, 14 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I think the members of this sorority aren't chronic vandals and have a bit more sense than your average 12 y/o who is bored in school so it will probably be ok. I'll keep an eye on it though. James086Talk | Email 00:54, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I'll jump to the bottom here:

*Alpha Kappa Alpha has continued to create social and economic capital for almost one hundred years. - surely this can be worded better - sounds like a political speech. I know what you're trying to say and can be said better. cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:59, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

 Done Changed to Alpha Kappa Alpha has helped to improve social and economic conditions through community service programs for one hundred years. miranda 17:32, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • ..have formed educational initiatives for generations - the same - promoted education? created and run educational programs? something more concrete. I hate the word 'initiative' as it reminds me of a bureaucrat trying to appease the public/media/etc. without actually doing anything.cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:02, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done changed to have improved education through independent initiatives miranda 17:49, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • ..contributed overseas - more concrete - need to contribute to something, or write 'funded' x.
 Done Soon after the sorority's 75th anniversary, Alpha Kappa Alpha contributed funds to decrease Africa's poverty with the establishment of African Village Development Program (AVDP). miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • ..20,000 third graders who were at-risk - need to define at-risk
 Done who were at-risk of failing their education. miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The title - Bridging Towards the Twenty-first Century: 1980–2007 - if there isn't a specific reason for the phrase it should be removed. I can't see what it is relevant to cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:06, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I made the title, because this was the last decade of the twentieth century. miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get another opiniion and if others are happy I'll concede my point. We are nearly over the finish line and the article is looking lots better.cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:02, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'll see if I can help. I'll do some copy-editing, but will try to bring any potentially contentious issues here. Similarly, if I change anything that introduces error, feel free to revert, but please do discuss it here afterward. --Dweller (talk) 11:18, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...is the first" makes it seem as if there are still no others. I'm not sure how to fix this, as the natural change to "was the first" makes it sound as if it is defunct. How about "became the first"? Unsure about this.
 Done due to NPOV. miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
What do you mean? --Dweller (talk) 10:57, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done I clarified the comment with was the first Greek-lettered of four sororities established and incorporated by African-American college women. Since there is Delta Sigma Theta, Zeta Phi Beta, and Sigma Gamma Rho. miranda 11:10, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Excellent. --Dweller (talk) 11:56, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

*The geographical co-ordinates of Howard (or is it Washington - it's ambiguous, which is bad in itself) are irrelevant and a distraction and should be in the articles pointed to, not here.

 Done deleted miranda 17:33, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is it a common Americanism to use "incorporated" as a verb? Horrible in English English ("was incorporated" would work) but wouldn't want to misjudge a regional usage of English issue
 Done was incorporated. miranda 17:32, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Alpha Kappa Alpha has continued to create social and economic capital for almost one hundred years" - multiple problems. 1) it implies (wrongly, it would seem) that the sorority continued something which would necessarily be the work of a previous organisation. 2) it's exactly 100 years today, unless you're saying that originally it didn't do this. 3) I have no idea what you mean by "create social and economic capital" and there's no footnote or wikilink to help explain the jargon. 4) it reads like an ad. I get the sense it's important, so shouldn't just be deleted, but as I don't know what the sentence means, it's hard for me to suggest an alternative; I suggest it should be re-written.

" Done Changed to Alpha Kappa Alpha has helped to improve social and economic conditions through community service programs for one hundred years. miranda 17:32, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • "According to Tamara L. Brown" is unwieldy. The comment is cited so doesn't need attribution unless doing so adds weight to something or there's a historical reason (like a quote from a contemporary, etc). Can the words be deleted?
 Done Sure. miranda 17:32, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "little formal authority and real power" Implies they had little authority, but they had real power, which presumably is a nonsense. Delete "real" and it works.
 Done Women forming a sorority allowed spheres of influence, authority and power within institutions, which traditionally gave African-Americans and women little formal authority and power, to be increased. miranda 17:51, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure about how this reads... I'll come back to you. --Dweller (talk) 10:57, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Forming a sorority broke barriers for African-American women in areas where little power or authority existed due to a lack of opportunities for minorities and women to succeed in the early twentieth century.[2] integrated into first paragraph. miranda 11:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

*I think the Tamara L Brown bit is interrupting a flow between the 1st and 3rd sentences which I think are on the same issue.

 Done I took the sentence out. miranda 17:49, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mississippi Health Clinic is too detailed for Lead section, especially if not especially notable (as implied by lack of wikilink, which in turn implies no article)
 Not done The words are notable, because the initiative is one of note within the history of Alpha Kappa Alpha. The health clinic helped to improve conditions of a rural area in MS during the Depression era. miranda 18:02, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "influenced federal legislation by Congressional lobbying" needs a whole bunch of wikilinks
 Done Clarified influenced federal legislation by Congressional lobbying through the National Non-Partisan Lobby on Civil and Democratic Rights. miranda 18:02, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is the founder's name Hedgeman or Hedgeman-Lyle? Needs consistency. Is it that when she founded the org, she didn't have the Lyle? In which case, drop it in the Lead as an anachronism.
    • Hedgeman-Lyle. Before she created the sorority, she was unmarried. She would be known as Hedgeman in this instance. miranda 18:02, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In Spring 1907, Ethel Hedgeman led the efforts to create the sisterhood of Alpha Kappa Alpha at Howard University." looks a little crystal-ball gazing. I suspect she might have led efforts to create a sorority, but its name surely wasn't an issue until it was created? Try "In Spring 1907, Ethel Hedgeman led the efforts to create a sisterhood for African American women at Howard University."
 Done del. sisterhood for AA women b/c AKA's membership includes all races. miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • What's a "charter member"?
 Done Founder. I replaced with founder. miranda 19:17, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Worried about capitalisation in "Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity's Beta chapter at Howard". I suspect fraternity should be lower case.
 Not done Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity is a proper noun. Full Name: Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated. miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in the instrumental phases of organizing the Alpha Kappa Alpha in Fall 1907" Why "the" Alpha Kappa Alpha? Also, in English English we wouldn't capitalise autumn 1907 - what about US English?
 Done deleted "the". Also  Not done capitalization, because "1907" is a noun for a year. The noun wouldn't be capitalized according to MOS. miranda 18:37, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Article deals only with Minor Hall, so why discuss "Main Hall" in caption?
That was the only photo available of Minor Hall on the internet. I had tried to contact Howard's archives a couple of months ago, but they did not respond. miranda 11:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The photo is fine - just doesn't need to refer to the other building in the caption.
  • Photo captions are overly long. On the Minor Hall one, how about "Miner Hall (left), Howard University in 1868.[9] The building was demolished in 1961.[11]"
 Not done There were two Minor Halls on Howard's campus. The same Minor Hall on Howard's campus is not the same Minor Hall of 1868. miranda 11:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure how this is a problem in what I suggest, nor how it's better in the current version.
  • "Main founder" is horrible, but it leads to a broader issue; I'm curious about the WP:WEASEL about her, (here and at her biog). From the History section presented here, it seems clear she should be regarded as, simply, the founder. What's holding you back?
 Not done She was the main person who founded the sorority. AKA's history book says that the idea belonged to her to found the sorority. miranda 11:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
But calling her the "Main Founder" diminishes her, implying she's just the main one of many, when in fact she was the Founder, ie the one and only.
No, she was the main founder. Other individual founders like Slowe and Burke helped to create the motto and the colors. Miranda 20:32, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Together" is nearly two sentences away from the nine other women it refers to
 Done Together, the women wrote the sorority's constitution, and devised the motto, colors, and name,[3] with Hedgeman serving as the temporary chairperson. miranda 12:11, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The name, motto etc should be addressed in the main article and (particularly with the name which is very odd to a non-American audience) explained.
 Not done nah, that's top sekrit info that sorority members only should know. :-) miranda 11:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
So say that!
Nah, that would be advertising for membership. Miranda 20:32, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • What are "honor sophomores"?
honor students. miranda 11:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
What's an "honor" student?
honor student. Miranda 13:13, 16 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Will continue. --Dweller (talk) 11:29, 15 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I won't oppose, but the writing does need a clean-up throughout. Here are random issues in the lead. Please do justice to this important subject.

  • Problems in the prose, such as:
    • "to succeed"—at what? Perhaps remove it, and let "opportunities" speak for itself.
 Done Miranda 17:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "Throughout the organization's founding, Alpha Kappa Alpha has helped to improve social and economic conditions through community service programs for one hundred years"—I don't get the opening clause: founding? Perhaps use numerals or at least a hundred, or even "Since its founding a century ago, ...".
 Done Miranda 17:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Hyphen: "college educated women".
 Done Miranda 17:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Remove comma after "chapter".
 Done Miranda 17:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • MOS breach: either spaced en dashes as interrupters, or unspaced em dashes.
 Done Miranda 17:28, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Trivial links, four in one sentence: "education, family, health, and business." Why distract the readers from the valuable links? We do speak English.
 Done Miranda 17:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "In order to implement her idea, Hedgeman began recruiting interested classmates during the summer of 1907." This "in order" disease: why not remove the first two words? Tony (talk) 15:24, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Thanks! Miranda 17:27, 18 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Miranda 01:39, 22 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
  1. ^ Beta Chapter History. Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. Retrieved January 1, 2008.
  2. ^ Tamara L. Brown, Gregory Parks, Clarenda M. Phillips, African American Fraternities and Sororities: The Legacy and the Vision. Lexington: University Press of Kentucky, 2005. p.342
  3. ^ Cite error: The named reference Ross-166 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
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