Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Artaxerxes III of Persia/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 00:44, 4 July 2008 [1].

Artaxerxes III of Persia[edit]

Nominator(s): Ardeshire Babakan (talk)


I'm nominating this article for featured article because...This article has been worked on (mainly by me) and now it has a high quality. In the GA review a couple of problems were pointed out which have now been adressed. Ardeshire Babakan (talk) 16:47, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Why do are some of the accessdates in the format "March 1, 2008." while some are "Mar 11, 2008."?
  • "English" language does not need to be specified in references.
  • There are several uncited paragraphs, including "It is commonly believed that in 338 BC Artaxerxes was poisoned by Bagoas, his confidential minister." which I imagine should really require one.
  • I believe "425 BC–338 BC" should be "425 BC – 338 BC".

Gary King (talk) 17:33, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • What makes the following (in addition to the sources noted above) reliable sources?
  • Two dead links .... http://www.iranologie.com/history/Achaemenid/chapter%20V.html/ and http://persianempire.info/ArtaxerxesIII.htm/
  • Current ref 4 Artaxerxes IV Arses is lacking a publisher (which should be Livius.org, see above about reliablity)
  • Might be nice to find a replacement for the Dictionary of Greek and Roman Biography and Mythology, which is almost a hundred and fifty years old.
  • Same for the "Phoenicia Under the Phersians" History of Phoenicia, which is over 100 years old.
  • Several other of your web sources are lacking publishers.
  • Have to agree about using less online sources and more scholarly works. Artaxerxes III isn't exactly a minor figure in history, there are monographs and books on him. Here's a link to a google scholar search Google and here is a google books search for items published since 1950 Google books search
Links checked out with the link checker tool, except the two noted above. Ealdgyth - Talk 17:56, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for your constructive critisicm. I never knew there were so many errors in the article. Please do not stop your constructive critisicm. By the way, what do you mean by "is it a reliable source"? Do you mean I should use more books and/or more reliable sites? Thank you so much.Ardeshire Babakan (talk) 11:16, 26 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • See WP:RS. Some of the sites that I mentioned above look like self-published sources. Self-published sources are not inherently unreliable, but there's no evidence to suggest that the author(s) of the work are scholars of the topic they're writing about. I do think you should replace your website refs with book and journal sources. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 12:14, 26 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose. The article has a good backbone, but the details need to be filled out. Right now I think it is assuming that readers have a good understanding of Persian history, and many of us do not. The context is missing for some of the facts, which left me a bit lost. Once the details have been filled in, the article will need a good copyedit to make sure that the meaning is clear. I have provided comments about what is/should be in the Early life and accession section so that you have examples of the type of work that needs to be done.
    • I think you've done a good job incorporating some books into the article, but I would recommend that you replace as many of the web references as possible with books. The web references do not look like reliable sources.
    • The family tree image seems a bit long for this article. I could easily see that as a different article
    • I would expect the information on his birth, parentage, and siblings to be in the Early life section instead of at the bottom of the article in Family.
    • Before ascending the throne Artaxerxes had been a satrap and commander of his father's army -- how did he get to be commander? Did he lead troops in any battles as commander or distinguish himself in any way?
    • How did Ochus manage to succeed his father if he was one of 115 sons? What made him special?
    • Was Artaxerxes king during Ochus's entire childhood or did he ascend the throne after Ochus was born?
    • Why were those of Ochus's siblings notable? (they don't have wikilinks, so there should be at least a basic description of why they were known, if possible)
    • Did he order all of his brothers executed or just the ones who were mentioned? Had they been plotting against him or was he just worried in general?
    • "which required the city to leave Asia Minor " - I think I know what you are trying to say but this doesn't make sense as written
    • to acknowledge the independence of its rebellious allies - whose allies? If they were Athens' allies they wouldn't be rebellious - I'm confused?
    • Artaxerxes raised a campaign against the rebellious Cadusians, but he managed to appease both of the Cadusian kings - if he was the one who initiated the war, why would he need to appease both of them? How did he appease them?
    • successful character emerging from this campaign was Darius. The earlier paragraph said that Ochus ordered his brother Darius executed. Who is this one?
    • He then ordered the dismissal of all Greek mercenaries from the satrapal armies of Asia Minor -- He who - Darius or Ochus? Why would he order them dismissed?
    • The order proved effective - why would it not be effective?
  • order was however ignored by Artabazus of Lydia, who asked for the help of Athens in a rebellion against the king. - why was he rebelling agains tthe king? Because he had to dismiss the mercenaries?

Karanacs (talk) 13:48, 26 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Note: The nominator has not revisited this FAC since I posted, although he has been actively editing. I've left him a reminder [2] to come back and address comments. Karanacs (talk) 18:23, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Karanacs. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:39, 2 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments regarding images:
    • Image:Faravahar.svg needs a verifiable source (currently a hitherto deleted en.wiki page) per WP:IUP. Description says author is Kevin McCormick and, alternatively, Ploxhoi (talk · contribs). Can we confirm this is the same person? This is perhaps moot, as the image appears to be a derivative of Image:Faravahar.png (which also fails to state a source); is that image's uploader (Roman Maurer - Commons user name: Romanm) the author? The image also alludes to Paradoxic (talk · contribs) as the author. What is going on here?
    • Image sandwiching in "Later years" section; see WP:MOS#Images). ЭLСОВВОLД talk 18:58, 1 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Artaxerxes_III_of_Persia/archive1&oldid=1138454976"