Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Giselle/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Laser brain via FACBot (talk) 15:05, 9 February 2015 (UTC) [1].

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Giselle

Nominator(s): SeeSpot Run (talk) 18:40, 8 February 2015 (UTC)

This article is about the 1841 ballet Giselle. It introduced the star ballerina Carlotta Grisi to the French public. This is the earliest ballet still in the general repertoire. It is also considered by balletomanes to be ballet's Hamlet. The article is well-written, and deserves a place among the FAs. SeeSpot Run (talk) 18:40, 8 February 2015 (UTC)

Oppose for the moment. Pleased as I am to see this delightful work represented here, the article is not yet ready for promotion to FA. It was raised to GA only on 1 February, and needs further work if it is to meet the more stringent FA criteria. Specific points of concern:

• Uncited statements evident at several paragraph ends – there may be others
• Excessive image clutter, leading to the text frequently being swamped and squeezed. Some of these images are highly marginal to the subject, and could easily be dropped. The problem had been exacerbated by frequent upsizing.
• The structure of the article looks odd and somewhat illogical, with the plot section stuck on the end almost as an afterthought, and other sections appearing in what looks almost a random order. I am not that familiar with ballet articles (apart from The Rite of Spring), but I think that the order widely adopted for opera articles, with an early plot summary and a general sequence of background → composition → performance → reception → music, would be more appropriate here.
• Although I've not read the general text, I have looked at the lead. The date of composition is missing from the first line. The wording "a poem about a girl who dies after an all-night ball called 'Fantômes' " is ambiguous and rather clumsy. I don't know if "composed the choreography" is general ballet-speak, but I've not previously heard choreography described as "composed". "Designed", perhaps. Overall, I doubt that this lead properly fulfils the WP requirement that it provides a summary of the whole article. It looks somewhat brief and attenuated.

I am not at this stage sure whether these issues can be resolved within a FAC timescale, but am prepared to wait and see what others say. Brianboulton (talk) 11:45, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

Coordinator comment: I concur with Brian. The article has quite a distance to go before being FA material and it will be best to archive this nomination so you can work on the issues noted. You are welcome to re-nominate after at least two weeks have passed. It might also be helpful to look at exemplars in close-by domains (opera, musicals) and solicit feedback from experienced FA writers in those domains before coming back. --Laser brain (talk) 15:05, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

• Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. --Laser brain (talk) 15:05, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.