Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Hilary Duff/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 17:13, 1 March 2008.

Hilary Duff[edit]

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Self-Nominator-I'm nominating this article for featured article because it is already a GA and i guess it deserves to be a FA. I submitted the article for peer review and there were no major issues raised there. Almost all issues raised during GA nominations and peer review have been addressed. The article has more than 100 references and is detailed and up-to-date according to me. So i guess the next step is FA....thanx Gprince007 (talk) 14:46, 24 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support - Well done comprehensive article, with a great amount of references, and otherwise detailed. Hello32020 (talk) 15:15, 24 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • Addendum: Article should be copy edited though, including the problems listed the below. Hello32020 (talk) 00:36, 26 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Strong oppose - The prose needs significant improvement.

  • "The album sold over 1.5 million copies in the U.S. in eight months,[47] but its only U.S. single, "Fly", failed to chart on the Hot 100,[48] despite being accompanied by a popular video." - I thought that sentence would never end!
  • "As a fashion designer, she had designed clothes for Barbie dolls in the past[64] but with the release of her doll, she joined Reese Witherspoon, Beyonce Knowles and Lucille Ball who have their own dolls.[64]" - what?
  • "It was reported that Carter left Duff for Lindsay Lohan, but soon broke up with Lohan and resumed dating Duff. Carter later stated that he also cheated on Duff with her best friend, and that Duff "got her heart broken" and he was "sorry" for his actions.[70] "
  • "Several reviews were particularly harsh towards Duff's vocals, with critics pointing out what appeared to be her digitally enhanced voice[30][31][32][33] and indifferent towards her acting performance." - that sentence is hard enough to read without the "[30][31][32][33]" bang in the middle.
  • "Duff and celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson have often been criticized for displaying their dogs as fashion accessories rather than pets.[67]" lol, surely there is a better way of putting that. Why is it in the Entrepreneurship section? And thats just one reviewer you are quoting, making it POV.
  • "She earned $15 million in 2005[1] and $12 million in 2006 and 2007." why is this in the lead?
  • "She said she has been feeling pressure to be thin, stating that she is perceived in the media to be either too fat or too thin. Duff called this "judgmental" and "mean"." Tense issues; the second sentence is more suitable for a magazine article than a formal encyclopedia.
  • "Duff's "ghetto" comments sparked a mixture of mild offense and bemusement from residents of the Waldorf area, as the suburban, mostly middle-class town did not fall into the traditional impoverished inner city concept of a ghetto.[91]" Again, extremely trivial nonsense more suitable for a tabloid than Wikipedia.

And so many more, the article needs a significant rewrite. indopug (talk) 15:21, 24 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

reworded most of the sentences and addressed most of the queries raised. Gprince007 (talk) 06:56, 27 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose for reasons cited above. The League of Copyeditors might be able to help. 24.126.197.197 (talk) 05:37, 25 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Oppose for now - Numerous prose issues raised above. LOCE recommended, but any copyedit should pick up the majority of the blatant stuff. Early life and career section is pretty short for someone so famous, plus the "and career" is ambiguous (which career...?). Content in Further reading section is meaningless as currently formatted. Some images of her time in acting would be good. dihydrogen monoxide (H20) 08:55, 1 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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