Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Metroid Prime/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 14:00, 15 December 2007.

Metroid Prime[edit]

previous FAC

Self-nomination. I've been editing this article since February 2006 (before I even owned a GameCube!), organizing the information already there, adding references, creating sections such as development and reception, and doing every possible move to improve the article: Wikiproject Assessment, GA nomination (passed), peer review and one failed FA candidacy. And now seems the article is good enough for trying the FA status. igordebraga ≠ 18:49, 3 December 2007

  • Support Chensiyuan (talk) 02:57, 6 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose Lacks reliable references, and the prose is not as good as it could be. It also seems to be unstable. Redrocketboy 00:10, 4 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    • Explain better the first, give me examples of the second, the third isn't much true (the only problem are somewhat sparse vandals). igordebraga ≠ 01:56, 4 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
      • By reliable I mean ones that are accessible to everyone, not dead links and review sites. The prose could do with a copyedit if it hasn't already, some sentences are overly long. Thanks. Redrocketboy 19:47, 4 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
        • Umm...review sites are generally considered to be reliable. What is your idea of a reliable source for this topic? bibliomaniac15 05:25, 5 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
        • Specially because besides reviews, news which involve interviews, FAQs (and a similarly written page on version differences) and some sites used only as secondary sources, most sources are reliable. But you're right about one dead link - Nintendo removed the GameCube games from their page, and now I'm searching archive.org or similar ways to reach that "Developer interview". igordebraga ≠ 01:06, 6 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment. I'm not sure how the "bonuses" section fits in. It seems a little guidish to me. Other than that everything else looks fine. bibliomaniac15 06:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments More needs to be done before this becomes an FA.
    • Nitpicky things about refs (but hey, this is FAC ;) ): refs should go immediately after punctuation with no space in between.
      •  Done
    • The pull quote on wide monitors looks weird (it gets placed to the left of the Style guide sketches image. Is there any way to place it so that it appears immediately below the image no matter what the width of the monitor?
      •  Done See if it works now.
    • You introduce terms specific to the video game without describing them well for people such as myself who are unfamiliar with it ("Morph Ball mode", which isn't described until later, "Scan Visor", "gravity suit", "have sealed off Metroid Prime" <-- a short description of this character is needed ...I shouldn't have to click on the link and read another article to discover that this is the main antagonist of the video game).
      •  Done, but I don't know if I should translate "Scan Visor": "Gameplay" mentions The display can be altered by exchanging visors, with (...) one with a scanner that searches for enemy weaknesses and interferes with some mechanisms such as force fields and elevators..
    • Needs another copyedit, as I spotted some minor grammar errors (using between instead of among, inconsistency of "Retro Studios": is it singular ["Retro Studios was created"], or plural ["After establishing their offices"]?, comma abuse: "separated by doors, that can be opened", "Retro Studios was created in 1998, by an alliance") and awkward and confusing sentences ("that provides the player with a general idea of where to go, such as indicating "seismic activity" in a certain room"...how are these two ideas related?). "During the final cutscene, a dying Metroid Prime steals Samus's Phazon Suit, which then downgrades her back to the gravity suit, and, unbeknownst to her, becomes Dark Samus." Who becomes Dark Samus? Currently the grammar of this sentence indicates that the Phazon Suit does.
    • Gameplay section is weak and confusing for those unfamiliar with the game. Ex: "...Grapple Beam, which latches onto special hooks, called grapple nodes"...not a very helpful description. What does the Grapple Beam actually do? The second paragraph of the section is confusing, and seems a bit plot-heavy to be in the "Gameplay" section.
      •  Done
    • ...because "they couldn't come out with any concrete ideas". Who's they? Who said this?
      •  Done
    • I assume at least some of the articles used as refs have authors. Why isn't that information given in the refs? 140.247.131.86 19:31, 4 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Some of the citations are incomplete and there is inconsistent formatting. Some web refs have "accessed" and others have "retrieved". Jay32183 21:15, 4 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done
    • I've also noticed that the "Gameplay" section refers to Samus doing things. This section should be written as the player controlling Samus. As long as it explains how the game works rather than how to play the game, it isn't a game guide. The way it is written now makes Samus seem like part of the game that acts on its own, rather than the player controlled character. Jay32183 (talk) 20:45, 5 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    •  Done, unless you think it's not enough. igordebraga ≠ 01:06, 6 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment Plot contains what I consider to be buzzwords: in-universe phrases that are not explained and leave the reader scratching their head and having to click on links to figure out what it is, which is poor prose. For instance, it mentions the Varia Suit, but never explains what that is or why it's important to mention it (note: found it in the beginning, gameplay). What is the purpose of the Magmoor Caverns if there are no bosses? From the description, it sounds like that it's the equivlant to the castle in Super Mario 64, but I could be totally wrong. What is the Gravity Suit? Is it the first suit she wears? Can it be mentioned in the first paragraph of the plot?
  • Finally, it seems that the underlying point of the game is to find all the artifacts to beat this Metroid Prime – this single entity – but to me at least it was a bit ambigious and required several readings in order to understand that, which shouldn't happen. For instance, I had to scroll up to the gameplay to find out what the artifacts were; I think they should have been mentioned in the second paragraph of the plot. hbdragon88 (talk) 02:01, 13 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
    •  Done Edited Gameplay, and expanded/changed Plot with the Scan Visor logs. igordebraga ≠ 21:13, 14 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
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