Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Saw (video game)/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Nikkimaria 04:30, 12 May 2011 [1].

Saw (video game)[edit]

Featured article candidates/Saw (video game)/archive1

Nominator(s): Ground Z3R0 002 03:22, 9 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I have worked on this article for a summer consecutively before and after release. It has a large volume of information and has completely covered the source topic. It is well-sourced, well written, and should be a definitive example for video game articles on Wikipedia. Ground Z3R0 002 03:22, 9 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Units

It says "Ghz". That should be 'GHz'
It says "Saw (video game) at the Saw wikia". I see an unusually long space before 'at'. Is there something wrong with the format?

Lightmouse (talk) 14:09, 9 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - I appreciate the work you've done on this article, but I feel it needs further improving before it can qualify for FA status. 18:56, 9 May 2011 (UTC)

The article is in need of some copy-editing for grammar, clarity and flow. Some specific examples: you use release/released 6 times in the first paragraph alone; "she follows Tapp until a mysterious figure called Pighead captures her to pose her escape and keep her covered as Jigsaw's secret apprentice."; "This was due to the fact that her son was kidnapped by Jigsaw and he had Pighead sew her mouth shut to avoid her spoiling Tapp's test"
WP:MOS edits needed - WP:OVERLINK, capitalization ("Detective Sing's Widow"?), etc
Quite a bit of information overlaps between sections, and the plot section is over-emphasized
Use of non-high-quality reliable sources - for example, multiple YouTube videos, forums and fansites, etc. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:56, 9 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. In addition to the concerns listed by Nikkimaria, the two images used in the article's body are either unusable or use formulaic and generic arguments for use. The gameplay image argues that the image is being used in an informative way and does not limit the developer's ability to sell the game, which is absolutely not an acceptable rationale, even for a Good article. The image in the Development section is said to demonstrate the design of the protagonist David Tapp - however, the character's physical design does not seem to be discussed at any point in the article from a developmental standpoint, making the image purely decorative. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 23:21, 9 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose, lot of work, but not yet ready, needs a thorough copyedit by a third party, and better sources Jimfbleak - talk to me? 06:44, 10 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, it seems unanimous that this article needs work, and more than can be fixed quickly to keep this nomination going (getting all new sources, rewriting the prose, and copyediting) so I think this nomination should be closed and I will go ahead and submit this article to the Copyeditors to fix it up. I will peer review before I nominate again, but I have already PR'ed twice and nobody commented either time :( Ground Z3R0 002 02:43, 12 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

That's certainly the problem with the system, especially with video games. Instead of Peer review, do someone a big favour that will net you a copyedit slave. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 18:30, 12 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.