Wikipedia:Peer review/History of the Washington Redskins/archive1

History of the Washington Redskins

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I do not know what else to do. I think I have mentioned most of the major players and events, so really i just need ideas on how I could expand or reformat the article. Any comments, criticisms, ideas helpful.

Thanks, Jwalte04 (talk) 22:43, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting and very detailed article, clear that a lot of work has gone into it. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

• A model article is often useful for ideas on style, structure, refs, etc. There are a large number of FAs on sport at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Sport_and_recreation, including History of American football
• Article seems too large by WP:SIZE - I used this tool and it has Readable prose: 60.7 KB, which is much larger than the 30 to 50 KB recommended limit.
• Per WP:Summary Style parts of the article could be made into smaller articles with a summary left in this article. I think I would definitely make "70 Greatest Redskins" a list article.
• Per WP:RECENTISM and WP:WEIGHT there seems to be way too much emphasis on the last five years. I would trim this back too.
• Per WP:HEAD the section headers should not repeat the name of the article or a major part of the name unless absolutely necessary. So "Redskins' first years in D.C. (1937–1945)" should just be "First years in D.C. (1937–1945)" since we already know this is about the Redskins. I am not sure about "Redskins Decade" but note the phrase is not used in that section itsef.
• The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - 2007 and 2008 are not in the lead, for example. Please see WP:LEAD
• Genreally well referenced but a few places that need refs do not have them - for example The team's early success endeared them to the fans of Washington, D.C. However, after 1945, the Redskins began a slow decline that they did not end until a playoff appearance in the 1971 season. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• Several of the External links are already cited as refs, not sure they need to be in twice. See WP:EL
• Per WP:MOS#Images, article should start with an image top right (not the TOC) and images should be set to thumb width (can also use vertical for vertical images) to allow user set preferences to take over.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:40, 22 May 2008 (UTC)