Wikipedia:Peer review/Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute/archive2

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

As far as I can tell, this article hasn't be reviewed in over four years by anybody!

Thanks, Besselfunctions (talk) 23:45, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from EricEnfermero

Just a few comments from the first few sections:

In the lead, some of the larger numbers are awkward as words.
Do we need to add III to van Rensselaer's name since I, II, and III all appear to be notable people?
In the history section I would specify what role (congressman I think) van Rensselaer held when he organized the school.
"The fact that the school..." - might start that sentence with "Eaton's reputation allowed the school to..."
"strongly resembled a graduate school more..." - I think you can get rid of strongly.
First sentence under Since 1900: move "for the fourth time" to the end of the clause.
Under Campus, I would clarify "gradually moved to the hilltop".
Under Postwar expansion, get rid of "interestingly". The last sentence there is also pretty long.

Good luck! May come back and try to leave more. EricEnfermero ^HOWDY! 08:47, 27 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]