Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/First Battle of Dernancourt/archive1

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The First Battle of Dernancourt was fought on 28 March 1918 near Dernancourt in northern France during World War I, and involved the German 2nd Army attacking the VII Corps. Two Australian divisions had been sent south from Belgium to help stem the tide of the German Spring Offensive towards Amiens and, with the British 35th Division, they held a line west and north of the Ancre river and the area between the Ancre and Somme. The Germans concentrated their assault between Albert and Dernancourt, attacking off the line of march after a short artillery preparation. The dawn attack was under the cover of fog, but other than one small penetration in the early morning that was quickly repelled, the Germans failed to break through the VII Corps defences. A week later the Germans renewed their attempts to advance in the sector, culminating in the Second Battle of Dernancourt when the Germans were again defeated. (Full article...)

Peacemaker67, I'm having a hard time with this one ... do you feel like doing the blurb? - Dank (push to talk) 02:50, 6 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

G'day Dan, I will take a look when I get back from interstate around the 18th. I'm hoping this will run on 28 March. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:23, 6 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
OK, Dan how is this looking now? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 04:42, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
1046 characters, max is 1025. (And (pictured) will add 11.) Gog, how does it look to you? - Dank (push to talk) 04:48, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Trimmed a bit more. Are we there yet? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 04:53, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Dank and Peacemaker67: Personally I would chop "and involved the German 2nd Army attacking the VII Corps" The first sentence seems a bit busy, and the context is given in the next sentence. Maybe

The First Battle of Dernancourt was fought on 28 March 1918 near Dernancourt in northern France during World War I. Two Australian divisions were sent to help stem the tide of the German Spring Offensive towards Amiens and, grouped with the British 35th Division as VII Corps, they held a line west and north of the Ancre river and the area between the Ancre and the Somme. The German 2nd Army concentrated its assault between Albert and Dernancourt, attacking as their troops arrived after a short artillery preparation. The dawn attack was under the cover of fog, but other than one small penetration that was quickly repelled, it failed to break through the VII Corps defences. A week later the Germans renewed their attempts to advance in the sector, culminating in the Second Battle of Dernancourt when the they were again defeated. (Full article...)

That's 855 characters, plus (pictured) will be 866, which is too few - minimum is 925. So either put back some of my deletions or add some further detail on the actual attack. Merely suggestions; feel free, obviously, to ignore them. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:53, 26 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

OK, how about this for 1,001 characters including (pictured), @Dank and Gog the Mild:? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:02, 31 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Sergeant Stanley McDougall

The First Battle of Dernancourt was fought on 28 March 1918 near Dernancourt in northern France during World War I. Two Australian divisions had been sent south from Belgium to help stem the tide of the German Spring Offensive towards Amiens and, with the British 35th Division, they held a line west and north of the Ancre river and the area between the Ancre and Somme. The German 2nd Army concentrated its assault between Albert and Dernancourt, attacking off the line of march after a short artillery preparation. The dawn attack was under the cover of fog, but other than one small penetration in the early morning that was quickly repelled, the Germans failed to break through the Allied defences. An Australian sergeant, Stanley McDougall (pictured), was awarded the Victoria Cross for his part in defeating the German penetration. A week later the Germans renewed their attempts to advance in the sector, culminating in the Second Battle of Dernancourt when the Germans were again defeated. (Full article...)

1,016 characters including spaces.

That looks good, except if it were me I would replace "VII Corps" with 'the Allies', as VII Corps has not been introduced and a reader would have to make an assumption as to what was being talked about. But if you disagree it is not a view I would go to the barricades over. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:15, 31 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 00:50, 1 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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