Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/How a Mosquito Operates/archive1

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Addressed comments from Crisco 1492[edit]

  • The second of his animated films, - Do you need "animated" here?
  • , in which a mosquito preys on a sleeping man; the mosquito's abdomen swells as it draws blood until it explodes. - you already have a synopsis above
  • The technical quality of McCay's animation was unmatched until Walt Disney's feature films appeared in the 1930s. - do you need to repeat this? you have this in the first paragraph (kinda) as well
    • Does it really? I thought the later statement expanded on the earlier. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Few of the opinions you put forth are attributed to their originators.
    • For example? Everything in the Reception section is attributed. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • " horrifying to watch", for instance. These are not NPOV terms. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why not base the synopsis on the film in the article?
    • Sorry, I don't understand. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Why not base your synopsis on the version you've already uploaded (i.e. why are you just basing it on what secondary sources say?) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        • I guess I'm citation-anal. I know the rules allow us not to cite plot summaries, but that seems to me...Idunno...like copping out or something. Curly Turkey (gobble) 13:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
          • You may be citation-anal, and I cited anal, but anyways... it would allow you to build a longer plot summary if you need to. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:41, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • How a Mosquito Operates was McCay's second film. The animated sequences in Little Nemo - doesn't quite flow right, particularly as you've already described his first film
  • Émile Cohl (1857–1938) - YOB/DOB at first mention, I'd think, if needed at all
  • including a story in Little Nemo where Nemo is attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes after returning from a trip to Mars. - do we have this story on Commons?
  • What's the point of using sfnm when you precede it with an sfn template?
  • Otherwise looks quite nice. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:19, 18 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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