Talk:A Cruel Angel's Thesis/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 22:50, 14 February 2022 (UTC)

Oh HELL yes. I'll start reviewing this once I return from an errands trip. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 22:50, 14 February 2022 (UTC)

Opening statement

Hello, and thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. My name is Vami, and I will be your reviewer. During this review I may make small edits such as spelling corrections, but I will only suggest substantive content changes in comments here. For responding to my comments, please use  Done,  Fixed,  Added,  Not done,  Doing..., or  Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. As my comments are addressed or rebutted, I will cross them out, and only my comments.

If I have demonstrated incompetence or caused offense, please let me know. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 22:50, 14 February 2022 (UTC)

Thank you. Just be patient in these immediate days, 'cause I'm currently busy with university. Nothing too long, I hope, but just to let you know that I will not be fast as usual :)--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 23:07, 14 February 2022 (UTC)

Referencing

This is my first anime and music GAN (excusing a couple pieces by noted anime protagonist and composer Johann Sebastian Bach). That said, with a few exceptions everything looks reliable or is used reliably. I'll highlight things during my reading if need be. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 00:38, 15 February 2022 (UTC)

• Citation [252] is missing the parameter.  Done
• Citation [281] is to a deprecated source; replacement advised.  Done

@Vami IV:Hope it works.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 00:19, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

The ten million dollar question

As an editor who has also worked on topics with Japanese-language sources, I need to ask: what is your proficiency with Japanese? If you are not proficient with Japanese, how did you translate, read, and then use the sources used for this article? –♠Vami_IV†♠ 08:57, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

@Vami IV: I only know the basics. I help myself through DeepL or by asking friends who study Japanese. Some sources, such as the Filmbooks or Evangelion Chronicle, have editions in Romance languages in which I am fluent, such as French, Spanish or Italian. Others, like the Groundworks, have editions in German. Other sources have translations on NGE-related forums, such as EvaGeeks.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 15:46, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

OK, works for me. Just as long as there are decent human translations out there. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 19:55, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

Background and recording

• [Anno] first chose the song Polovtsian Dances from the opera Prince Igor by Russian composer Aleksander Borodin. Does the source cited for this identify which, if any, of the Polovtsian Dances Anno had in mind?

Nope. As far as I can say, the source (I have the original, but you can find a translation here) does not mention what exact dance Anno had in mind at the time.

• [...] a classical composition such as Prince Igor [...] Seems to be a missing "from" before "Prince Igor"; Anno appears from the prose to have been inspired by the score of the play rather than the play itself.  Done
• Gainax studio [...] Expand on this. Who/what is Gainax?  Done
• [...] contacted Hidetoshi Satō and Toshiyuki Ōmori to write an unreleased piece [...] Does "unreleased" mean that the piece is unreleased media or that it was just a demo that was never meant to be released?

I tried to explain better. It just means an original soundtrack for the series, rather than already existent music.

• Toshimichi Ōtsuki [...] personally handled the coordination. "personally" here is redundant, since it is Ōtsuki coordinating things (side note/tangent: given that this is 1990s Gainax, I have no doubt that Ōtsuki was there in person coordinating this production).  Done
• [Ōtsuki] requested to change the streaming melody into a "crispy notching style" in the demo stage. None of this makes sense to me. Can you rephrase?

Simplified.

• The music was finally composed in the key of C minor. "finally" here has no gravity; there is not really a sense of time in the paragraph.  Done
• A male backing choir was originally planned but was later deleted [...] Deleted how? In the 30-second audio sample in this section, I can clearly hear a choir.

The chorus remained, but it sounds feminine to me. AFAICT, it was the male chorus that was cut.

Composition and lyrics

• Kotono Mitsuishi, Misato's Japanese voice actress, gave a similar interpretation; in an interview, Mitsuishi stated the line "Even if I never become a goddess, I will go on" (女神なんてなれないまま私は生きる, Megami nante narenai mama watashi wa ikiru), "pierced" her heart, believing "that was Misato's voice". The quoted text here is a song lyric, but isn't presented as such (rather, as just something she said in an interview rather than an interpretation of a lyric she shared in said interview).

Right, right! Specified.

Reception

• [...] and appeared in popularity polls. When?

Tried to explain.

Commercial performance

• In 2013, it placed third in a Koebu.com poll of the best karaoke songs of all time. Best or favorite?

Favorite is better.

Music video

• [...] in reference to the series' Human Instrumentality Project. Explain the HIP.

Briefly explained.

• According to Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Unofficial Guide, written by Martin Foster and Kazuhisa Fujie, before the animated series ended, viewers said the clip was confusing and "unclear", and devoid of concrete connections with the internal events of the series. According to them, "many fans that sat through the entire series were therefore surprised to find that everything that appeared in the story had been highlighted, flagged or hinted at in the opening sequence". Combine and condense this sentence; it's a bit jarring to read The video clip for "The Cruel Angel's Thesis" received praise from audiences and critics. and then in the very next sentence read "but some people thought it confusing and bad".

Condensed.

Remixes and other versions

• Despite the simplicity of the lyrics, during the recording, the interpreter had some difficulties, having to weigh the emphasis and the correct inflection of each meow.[242] I struggle to understand why this needs inclusion in the article, however funny it is.

@Vami IV: Deleted.

GA progress

I am satisfied that the article does not contain copyright violations. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 08:25, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

Article is in compliance with WikiProject Songs's style and content guidelines. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 08:57, 17 February 2022 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.