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"...becoming the first black West Indian to play for an English county." white West Indians had... played county cricket earlier?
Yes, although it is all quite odd. Pelham Warner, for instance, was technically a West Indian cricketer, and his brother captained the West Indies team. Also, other white West Indians played around this time in England, and one qualified for county cricket after the 1906 tour. Sarastro1 (talk) 15:11, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
...several black cricketers on the team;... → in the team?
Reworded to avoid this. Sarastro1 (talk) 15:11, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
His highest score, and only century, ... → his only century in FC or in the series?
There was no series, and none of the matches were FC (as it says in the article). I think it is clear from the context that this means his only century during the tour. Sarastro1 (talk) 15:11, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Against Essex, he made the highest score of his career,[5] when, according to his obituary in Wisden, "he was the dominating figure in a remarkable match". → Against Essex, he made the highest score of his career,[5] and according to his obituary in Wisden, "he was the dominating figure in a remarkable match".
I think "when" works better here. Sarastro1 (talk) 15:11, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Essex scored 597 ......... 321 runs in the match." needs inline ref.
Was covered by the ref at the end of the next sentence, but added another to make it clear. Sarastro1 (talk) 15:11, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Good work with the article. ZiaKhan 05:38, 27 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, and fiction: 