Talk:Christening (The Office)

Christening (The Office) has been listed as one of the Media and drama good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: September 23, 2013. (Reviewed version).

Television: Episode coverage / The Office Low‑importance

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"Lake Wobblegone"[edit]

Anyone know whether the Prairie Home Companion clip at the end was recorded especially for NBC? Asat (talk) 07:38, 3 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Christening (The Office)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ajmint (talk · contribs) 17:16, 21 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. ajmint (talk•edits) 17:16, 21 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
See prose comments below.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
There seems to have been a little dispute over the phrasing of "mixed reviews", but I think that's over.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead

"Cece" is used, while the rest of the article has "CeCe"
"gets christened" -> "is christened" is more formal
Link christened to Infant baptism?
Link high school?
"as such" can be dropped
"viewed by 7.65 million viewers" -> change to "seen" or "watched" to avoid repetition

Plot

"the entire office" -> "everyone in the office"? He obviously didn't invite the building, but this sounds a bit weird + variety from lead
"in the back of his car" -- is the car just Jim's, or Jim and Pam's?
"keep an eye on her" -> "watch over her"
"Cece" again
"had her" -> "had CeCe"
The sentence beginning "Michael is inspired" is too long and should be split
"Office staff" should not be capitalised
"every one of them" -> "all of them"
"hopping on the bus" -> "getting on the bus"
There is a stray ) after "Erin Hannon"; I assume this should be "(Ellie Kemper)"
Link crucifix

Production

"With the seventh season of The Office being Carell's last," -- would reword this to get rid of "with ...ing": "The seventh season of The Office was Carell's last, so..."
should "Season Seven" be capitalised?
"showing up" -> "coming"

Cultural references

"Kelly pulls" is too informal
"Jim wraps CeCe in an Arcade Fire shirt. Arcade Fire is a Canadian indie rock band." - These sentences could be merged

Reception

"3.8 rating/10 percent"; correct me if I'm wrong, but should this not be "3.8/10 percent rating"?
"calling it among the worst episodes" -> "calling it one of the worst" or "ranking it among the worst"
"portrayed Michael is a way that showed him as" -> "portrayed Michael as"
The comma after normal is not a typographical error (the original article has "a flawed, yet normal, man." – the "yet" clause is set out with two commas) so [sic] should not be used. I would just include the full quotation: 'portrayed Michael as "a flawed, yet normal, man."'
comma after "Scott's Tots"
comma after "Michael's maturity in the episode"
"taking it serious" -> "taking it seriously"
comma before "he complimented Lieberstein's performance"
hyphenate "sixth season" before "clip show"
'blamed it on the writers, who she said "have'
missing ] after "[Pam and Jim"

References

1: "Shows" not "Showz", space missing before "Office"
4&5: links no longer go to videos, need titles formatting properly
(8: Link the whole of "NBC.com")
(9: Correct curly quotes)
(17: Remove "at IGN", add IGN as work)

I am putting this nomination on hold until these problems can be fixed. ajmint (talk•edits) 22:26, 22 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I have corrected all of the issues. How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 22:46, 22 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Just a couple more things: ajmint (talk•edits) 22:58, 22 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Take out the comma before "dealt with Pam and Jim"
"all the members of the office"

How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:14, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Pass. Well done! ajmint (talk•edits) 07:15, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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