Talk:Christening (The Office)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Ajmint (talk · contribs) 17:16, 21 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. ajmint (talk•edits) 17:16, 21 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
See prose comments below.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
There seems to have been a little dispute over the phrasing of "mixed reviews", but I think that's over.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

"Cece" is used, while the rest of the article has "CeCe"
"gets christened" -> "is christened" is more formal
Link christened to Infant baptism?
Link high school?
"as such" can be dropped
"viewed by 7.65 million viewers" -> change to "seen" or "watched" to avoid repetition

"the entire office" -> "everyone in the office"? He obviously didn't invite the building, but this sounds a bit weird + variety from lead
"in the back of his car" -- is the car just Jim's, or Jim and Pam's?
"keep an eye on her" -> "watch over her"
"Cece" again
"had her" -> "had CeCe"
The sentence beginning "Michael is inspired" is too long and should be split
"Office staff" should not be capitalised
"every one of them" -> "all of them"
"hopping on the bus" -> "getting on the bus"
There is a stray ) after "Erin Hannon"; I assume this should be "(Ellie Kemper)"
Link crucifix

"With the seventh season of The Office being Carell's last," -- would reword this to get rid of "with ...ing": "The seventh season of The Office was Carell's last, so..."
should "Season Seven" be capitalised?
"showing up" -> "coming"

"Kelly pulls" is too informal
"Jim wraps CeCe in an Arcade Fire shirt. Arcade Fire is a Canadian indie rock band." - These sentences could be merged

"3.8 rating/10 percent"; correct me if I'm wrong, but should this not be "3.8/10 percent rating"?
"calling it among the worst episodes" -> "calling it one of the worst" or "ranking it among the worst"
"portrayed Michael is a way that showed him as" -> "portrayed Michael as"
The comma after normal is not a typographical error (the original article has "a flawed, yet normal, man." – the "yet" clause is set out with two commas) so [sic] should not be used. I would just include the full quotation: 'portrayed Michael as "a flawed, yet normal, man."'
comma after "Scott's Tots"
comma after "Michael's maturity in the episode"
"taking it serious" -> "taking it seriously"
comma before "he complimented Lieberstein's performance"
hyphenate "sixth season" before "clip show"
'blamed it on the writers, who she said "have'
missing ] after "[Pam and Jim"

I am putting this nomination on hold until these problems can be fixed. ajmint (talk•edits) 22:26, 22 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I have corrected all of the issues. How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 22:46, 22 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Just a couple more things: ajmint (talk•edits) 22:58, 22 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:14, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Pass. Well done! ajmint (talk•edits) 07:15, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]