Talk:Heinrich Hoffmann (pilot)

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Date	Process	Result
January 30, 2010	WikiProject peer review	Reviewed

A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on January 6, 2010.

The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that World War II German fighter ace Heinrich Hoffmann was the first non-commissioned officer and first posthumous recipient of the Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross with Oak Leaves?

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Pre-war occupation[edit]

What was his occupation before the war started? Was he married?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:38, 29 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ambiguity[edit]

"He often flew as wingman to Heinrich Bär, contributing to his success."
This quote is from the 'Career' section, para 2.
Does it mean that flying as wingman to Bär contributed to Bär's success, or Hoffman's?
RASAM (talk) 20:40, 14 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

fixed! MisterBee1966 (talk) 13:05, 20 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Unofficial review[edit]

okay, I've gone through it, and here's my take on the problems you're facing.

First, your prose is fine (generally), although I've tweaked a few areas that were awkward or in which your sentences were very "German-like" (waaay too long for an English-speaking audience--think of us as having short attention spans. Also, since we don't change the endings on adjectives, it is difficult for us to know which adjective belongs with which noun, and so forth, making the transition from German-style sentences to English difficult).

Second, as you've noted, it's skimpy. How about an explanation here of the process of pilot education? Although there isn't specific evidence of how Hoffmann became a pilot, you might explain, generally, how men who were non-coms became pilots. Most of your other articles are about officers. What about this guy being a non-com. Does Hoffmann fall into a large category of pilots who weren't officers? Is there a reason some men didn't get officers' commissions when they finished pilot training? Is it something to do with how they enlist (as Fahnrich, for example?)

Third, since he was Baer's wingman, perhaps there are records of missions they flew together. This might help fill out some of the holes (Oh, and btw, I tweaked that sentence some more).

Other than this, I can only think of a few places to find some more info: contemporary newspapers? Magazines and periodicals? Other pilot journals? Auntieruth55 (talk) 22:34, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]