Talk:Hurricane Eugene (1987)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk • contribs • count) 16:40, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"Eugene weakened back to a Category 1 hurricane, Eugene made landfall near Manzanillo, Colima. Eugene" - can you cut down on the number of times you say Eugene? :P Ditto with the MH, it uses it a lot.
- A changed a few. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"The amount of rainfall dropped by Eugene caused it to be the wettest tropical cyclone in five Mexican states." - that's a little wonky. I recommend switching it to something like... "The hurricane deluged the southwest Mexican coastline, resulting in the highest rainfall totals from a tropical cyclone in five states."
- Added your suggest to the page.
"Over 5,000 people were left homeless and heavy crop damage occurred" - it seems weird to compare how people were affected to how the land was affected.
- Split into two sentences.Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"Over the next two days it moved across Central America and was next noted by meteorologists off the coast of Nicaragua on July 20" - that doesn't make sense, the "next noted"
- Reworded. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"746 mi (1,201 km)" - why so exact?
- Why not? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"Eugene continued intensifying as it tracked at a steady pace to north-northwestward" - that doesn't flow too well ("to north-northwestward" mainly).
- Changed to "to towards the". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
" Forecasters anticipated to storm to reach minimal hurricane intensity that day, but the tropical storm was initially predicted to remain offshore." - why do you feel the need to mention that hurricane intensity was forecast? That seems redundant considering the next sentence establishes that it did. I guess I'm just not sure why you use the "but" in there, since there's nothing contradictory.
- Reworded. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:39, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"When the storm first posed a threat to Mexico on July 24, the port of Zinuhuatenjo was closed for small craft. Navigation classes were suspended in Acapulco. The port of Manzanillo was closed. Many other ports were closed as well." - could you combine a few of these? That's four very short sentences in a row.
Combined the second and third and wikilinked Acapulco (most people do not know where it is exactly). YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane
- I was actually thinking combining that Manzanillo, as well as others, were closed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:18, 17 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
In the preps/impact section, can you find a way to avoid starting two consecutive paragraphs with "Hurricane Eugene"?
- Switched the second to "the system".Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:39, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"According to a front desk person at one hotel, it was forced to use emergency generators during the passage of the hurricane" - why is that encyclopediac? Not just the first part, but any of it. Lots of people use generators during hurricanes.
- Removed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:39, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Three people, one of those being a six year-old girl" - that happens right after you mention the man's death due to a tree falling. It creates some confusion whether the man is included there. I'd recommend something like "There were two other deaths, including a six year-old girl".
- Used your recommendation. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:39, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"The damage amounted to more than $2.6 million in damage (1987 USD)" - department of redundancy department?
- Removed the second use. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:39, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Why do you say Eugene was the first since 1954, considering the Calvin source says since 1949?
- Switched to 1949. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:39, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  - But I see why you did 1954, since there was technically a July hurricane that hit Mexico in 1954. Try finding a way to reflect the sources. Plus, it's weird how you say "the 1949". ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:18, 17 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  - I found nothing in a goggle search and removed the record, though I still mention that Eugene is the second most recent landfalling July cane.Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane

Otherwise it's good. These are pretty minor and I'll be happy to pass once finished. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:40, 16 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]