Talk:J. P. Crawford

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:J. P. Crawford/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 17:00, 17 November 2017 (UTC)

Will review this article. MWright96 (talk) 17:00, 17 November 2017 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• "he attended Lakewood High School where he achieved recognition for his athletic performance, receiving recognition as one of the nation's best teenage baseball players." - break up the sentences so it reads he attended Lakewood High School where he achieved recognition for his athlethic. He also received recognition as one of the nation's best teenage baseball players.
• the 2013 Major League Baseball draft can just be spelt as 2013 MLB draft since the acronyms are used in parentheses earlier in the lead
• Stellar is not encycopedic language

Early life

• "Crawford's cousin, Carl Crawford, played in Major League Baseball." - use acronyms in parentheses as this is the first time MLB has been mentioned in the prose.
• Fix the redirect links for Urban Youth Academy and the 2013 MLB draft
• "a softball phenom" - again, another use of informal language on Wikipedia.
• "and immediately accomandated the freshman by opening a spot at shortstop" - typo; change to accommodated

Minor leagues

• Remove the wikilink to 2013 MLB draft in this sub-section
• Fix the following wikilinks that are currently redirected: Gulf Coast Phillies, RBIs and Lehigh Valley IronPigs
• "he finished with a .288 BA, six home runs, 42 RBIs and 12 stolen bases."- change te text to read he finished his season with a .288 BA, six home runs, 42 RBIs and 12 stolen bases.
• "Over his next 60 games Crawford returned to regular form, posting a .272 BA and 12 home runs—‌a career high." - slightly reword this text so it reads as follows: Over his next 60 games, Crawford returned to regular form, posting a .272 BA and a career high of 12 home runs.
• "Crawford began starting at third base on August 20 to prepare to share time with Maikel Franco," - reword to Crawford began starting at third base on August 20 in preparation of sharing time with Maikel Franco,

Major leagues

• "Playing at third base, in his MLB debut" - Playing at third base in his MLB debut,
• Wikilink at-bat for the benefit of non-baseball readers.

References

• All of the references bar the second one should have the full date of when they were published and not just the year.
• The links to references 6, 9, 10, 11 & 13 are broken. Please rectify this.

On hold until all of the above points have been addressed. MWright96 (talk) 18:25, 17 November 2017 (UTC)

MWright96 I think I addressed all of your points. Let me know if there is more I should do. Thank you.TheGracefulSlick (talk) 21:21, 17 November 2017 (UTC)

TheGracefulSlick Thanks for making the changes. There is nothing else that is major that caught my eye but I did fix some other redirects that I missed. Now promoting to GA. MWright96 (talk) 08:05, 18 November 2017 (UTC)

Fixes needed

I don't want to litter this article with "by whom" tags, but there are many instances where that information is needed. Such as when we say things along the lines of:

• "he achieved recognition for his athletic performance"
• "he also was considered one of the nation's best teenage baseball players"
• "Crawford began his career with the Phillies as an exceptional defensive infielder"
• "was considered the organization's top prospect"
• "sister Eliza, a softball phenomenon"
• "As anticipated, however, Crawford declined the offer"

and so on... Really needs a lot of work in this regard; we have to be more careful about promoting articles with such glaring deficiencies, and this should be fixed for the article to retain its status. 2604:2000:E010:1100:6D34:CEA1:EF2:431 (talk) 08:32, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

I'm not sure if I left this in the right place, so leaving it again here ..

Fixes needed

I don't want to litter this article with "by whom" tags, but there are many instances where that information is needed. Such as when we say things along the lines of:

• "he achieved recognition for his athletic performance"
• "he also was considered one of the nation's best teenage baseball players"
• "Crawford began his career with the Phillies as an exceptional defensive infielder"
• "was considered the organization's top prospect"
• "sister Eliza, a softball phenomenon"
• "As anticipated, however, Crawford declined the offer"

and so on... Really needs a lot of work in this regard; we have to be more careful about promoting articles with such glaring deficiencies, and this should be fixed for the article to retain its status. --2604:2000:E010:1100:6D34:CEA1:EF2:431 (talk) 08:33, 7 June 2018 (UTC)