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Talk:Pat Malone

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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:Pat Malone/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 07:06, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Early life

  • Loathing the name "Perce," Malone insisted on being called "Pat" instead. — Any word on when this started?
  • Lying about his age — To the team, the Army, or both?
  • Returning to Altoona after his military service — When? Any details of his service?
  • Did he also attend Juniata College?
    • The source's wording is "and had a short stint as a football player at Juniata College in Huntingdon, Pennsylvania". I would assume he attended it, but I think phrasing it this way is more consistent with the source. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:17, 29 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Minor League career

1929

  • What was the series score going into game 2? Game 4?
  • a couple more — How many?

1930

1931

1932

  • stop carrying on so much — What does this mean?

1933

1934

  • contractual bonuses that he would have become eligible for had he won 15 games — Any more details? Was it one bonus (15 wins = x money), or multiple bonuses (for multiple benchmarks)?
  • He eventually reached an agreement with the Cardinals — Details?

1935

1936

  • This section should have a topic sentence. "Nonetheless" isn't great to lead off a new section; something like "Despite Malone's lackluster performance the previous year, ..." would work.
  • "got himself knocked out in the second inning" — A bit vague/casual.
  • "Malone entered and pitched six innings" — Was this his first appearance of the year?
  • "it was Malone's best start" — He didn't start.
  • "In 68 innings pitched out of the bullpen, his ERA was 2.12 in the latter part of the year." — Were all 68 innings referred to here in the latter part of the year?
  • "no more than four runs in either of the outings" — How many runs per game?
  • "Malone recorded a save" — But you just said these weren't yet a thing.
  • "came in the 10th inning" — Bottom (walkoff) or top?
  • "giving Malone his only World Series championship" — Somewhat inconsistent with the lead, which says that "He played for ... two World Series champions". I get the distinction (World Series roster), but the emphasis in the article's lead and body is different.

1937

  • The Sporting News portrayed Malone as a "stout-hearted has-been of another era" — Why? Didn't he do well the season before? Or (as Wolf is about to say), didn't he display "magic"?
  • According to Wolf, he was "unable to duplicate the magic from the previous season" — Why? It seems odd here, given that it's right after a line about him pitching out of a jam and then doing well for the rest of the game.
  • Any information about his starts?

Final professional season (1938)

Career statistics

  • "In a 10-season career" — "In a 10-season major league career"?

Pitching style

  • "Standing at 6 ft 0 in (1.83 m) and 200 pounds" — If you're going to convert feet to meters, may as well convert pounds to kilograms.

Practical joker

  • This is a bit of an odd short section, and is probably best incorporated into "Personal" or "Pitching style".

Personal

Addressed all comments made thus far! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:17, 29 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, Sanfranciscogiants17. I've made some additional edits, and am passing now. --Usernameunique (talk) 22:38, 11 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]