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Talk:St Peter's Roman Catholic Church, Buckie/GA1

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:27, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • "Known locally as the Buckie Cathedral, ..." this sentence has too many run-on clauses for easy reading.
OK - I've cut the final clause about the donation of the land, and added another sentence mentioning Kyle the designer to put alongside the Baron's donation of the land.
  • "13th Century Gothic style" don't capitalise "Century".
I've added a few more links, let me know if you think I've gone overboard
  • "The church is richly " perhaps clarify, "The interior of the church is..."?
  • Any ideas of the dimensions of any of the things you're describing, e.g. you say "thick" but we don't really have a context for that.
Mmm. Not really I'm afraid, without conducting some WP:OR with a tape measure - I'm just going off the descriptions in the sources. Do you want me to lose some of the adjectives?
No, fair enough, if there are no reliable sources out there which even cover basics like the external dimensions of the church, fair enough, what can you do? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 18:39, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Did a bit more searching. I found a diameter for the rose window (not sure about the RSness of the source, but it's not exactly a controversial assertion), but not much else.
  • "the the First World War," one too many "the" (remove the one in the pipe!).
oops
  • We generally write Stations of the Cross (cap S and cap C).
  • "frames.[4][1] The " numerical order for refs please.
Thanks for that - I hadn't thought about ordering before, but I agree it looks much tidier with them in the right order. I think I've got some work to do on my other articles now...
Good point - I've directed it to the section on the restored Catholic succession.
Ooh - nice find, I missed that one.
  • "to donate some land " some isn't doing anything here.
  • "emancipation in Scotland.[5][3] " numerical order again.
  • "extended by Charles Ménart," I think it's worth introducing him as a "the Belgian architect" for context.
  • "and designed the italian marble high altar[4] and" (a) Italian (b) awkward ref placement (c) and ... and... can we rephrase?
OK - fixed Italian, moved ref to end of sentence, and reworded a bit to lose the repetitiveness
  • "The ornate[1] marble war" a single-sentence para, avoid, and I would move all those refs to the end of the sentence. In fact, the last three paras are all single-sentence which should be avoided, looks like a collection of bullet points without the bullets...
I've attached the first of these sentences to the end of the previous paragraph (since chronologically it happened shortly after Menart's work); the other two (about more recent stuff) I've combined into a single paragraph, and changed the wording of the sentence about the organ so that it's clearer why it belongs after the one about the listing.
  • "The organ presently installed..." we try to avoid "presently", see WP:PRECISELANG.
Fair enough. I was trying to convey the idea that there was another organ in the church originally, but I see your point. Gone.
  • "Current Usage" per WP:HEAD should be "Current usage"
  • Avoid SHOUTING in the ref titles.
Darn it - I'm just copy/pasting from the website titles, didn't know I should be typing them out manually to avoid that :(
  • Avoid spaced hyphens (e.g. ref titles 3 & 7) should be an en-dash per MOS:DASH.
(See previous comment!)
  • Ref 8 appears to repeat work and publisher. Can we check that?
The name of the website is the same as that of the organisation that publishes it - Scotland's Churches Trust. I checked that that's their official name, and it seems to be from their 'About us' page. Anything else you want me to do here?
If it was me choosing, I'd normally opt for either a website, or a publisher, but not both, particularly if they're the same, as it does look a wee bit odd to me...
OK, I've removed the 'publisher' field. I generally try to fill in as many fields as I can in the 'Cite web' template box, just for the sake of completeness. I'll make a mental note not to add the publisher in future if it's identical to the name of the website.

The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 18:39, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

That's the sum total of my thoughts on a quick read through. I'll put the nomination on hold while we go through these. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 10:27, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for these suggestions @The Rambling Man:, I've acted on most of them, but a couple of comments/questions above. GirthSummit (blether) 17:47, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Couple of responses! The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 18:39, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
​ Thanks - I've changed the ref to remove the repetition, and found a figure for the diameter of the rose window (it's something I suppose...). GirthSummit (blether) 19:24, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work, short but sweet and covers the major bases suitably, so happy to promote. Let me know if you need any help with reviews in future, should you consider my input of use of course! Cheers, The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 19:44, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, @The Rambling Man: - I really appreciate the advice (and the promotion!). You've made a few things clear to me that will help me with articles in the future. This has been very helpful, and as I said when I asked you for the review, your input into articles of mine at DYK has always been fantastic - I'll definitely come back for more! Cheers GirthSummit (blether) 20:09, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thumbs up icon The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 20:10, 16 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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