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User:HighwayCello/Noms

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WikiProject Good Articles: Open Tasks
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Fail Notes

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.... was recently nominated to be promoted to good article status, but has unfortunately failed. Reasons for failing GA:


..... GA Nomination

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Dear ........, your recent nomination for ....... to be promoted to good article status has failed on various grounds which have been listed on the article's talk page. Please expand on these comments and re-apply for Good Article Status. Thank you for contributing, keep up the good work, Highway 22:46, 28 March 2006 (UTC)

Pass Notes

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.... was recently nominated to be promoted to good article status, and has passed! Congratulations and keep up the great editting! Highway 20:57, 30 March 2006 (UTC)

......... GA Pass!

[edit]

Dear ......., your recent nomination for ....... to be promoted to good article status has passed, and has been promoted to GA status! It can now be found here, under the appropriate category.

"A good article is a fantastic accomplishment, keep up the effort!" Highway 22:44, 29 March 2006 (UTC)

City - FAILED - 28.3.06

  • Reasons -
    • "Introduction" should be merged with the actual introduction
    • Three images shouldn't be stacked in such a way - causing the layout to be unpleasant
    • Captions of pictures should be of matching quality as of the first picture
    • "The city is a human habitat that allows people to form relations with others at various levels of intimacy while remaining entirely anonymous." (This definition was the subject of an exhibition at the Israeli pavilion at the 2000 Venice Biennale of architecture) The "definition" should be either inline citationed or reworded, but that's dire
    • "The difference between towns and cities" should appear later in the article, not the first paragraph for readers because it is not the most important subject of the article
    • Incorporate "Inner city" section with all American information, as well as mentioning "Edge Cities"
    • Delete large section of "See also", most is covered/made inferior by the category box at the bottom of the article
    • Completely expand and revamp "References"
    • Synthesize "External Links", some links are useless, Eg - A forum where one can participate with other forumers using stats, images and general debate to rate and compare cities in a civilised fashion. while others need names cleaned up to be of any use to the reader Eg - For each country, part of its population that lives in its most populous city
  • This article is a good start, but has a long way to go.. Highway 22:42, 28 March 2006 (UTC)

Africa - FAILED - 28.3.06

  • Reaons:
    • Add "References" - these are required to pass
    • Use Inline Citation to link sources of information
    • Cut down on "External Links" - too many to be useful
    • List "URL Accessed date" on all website links, to show users whether websites are still active
    • Remove unneccessary templates at the bottom, the three bottom boxes could be synthesized into 2 or even 1 box
  • This article is close to completion but the bottom section is so poor that it brings down the whole article Highway 07:11, 29 March 2006 (UTC)

Supernature (Goldfrapp album) - PASSED - 29.3.06

  • Reasons:
    • Very good references
    • Well researched
    • A pleasure to read
  • I can't say enough good things about this article, Highway 06:57, 29 March 2006 (UTC)

Queen (band) - FAILED - 29.3.06

  • Reasons:
  • Inline citations shouldn't be bulked together
  • Explain terms "arena rock", "hard rock", "glam rock", "heavy metal" and "progressive rock"
  • Fix this grammar error - "metal, and progressive"
  • Do not use terms such as " later in the article", either use "see below" or link
  • Explain the term, "commercial music video", explain that it means "music videos"
  • Remove minor "crest" information from the introduction
    • Prose band members and "As instrumentalists" into paragraphs
    • Replace terms such as "(e.g. "Sheer Heart Attack")", via prosing using words like "such as" or "including"
    • Don't use italics for long sections of paragraphs
    • When listing members (in the second section) use "*" if you plan on not prosing
    • Don't repeat words, "able to create strange and unusual sound effects" & "able to create sound effects with his guitar that were so unusual".
    • Be bold, avoid terms such as "He added some special instruments here and there".
    • This is a very poorly written section " he played each chord separately in a different take, then the producer merged them to form the entire part.[11]"
      • The History section is a brick, split up into different sections rather than a huge area with dates seperating the wall. Eg - "The Beginning" (1968 - 1970s)
      • Avoid terms such as "(aka Wreckage)", use book English instead.
      • Don't use words such as " kicked off".
        • Prose these findings or ad in a Wikitable.
        • Don't stockpile inline links.
        • Convert chart numbers into a wikitable
        • Remove "fansite links", example "one of the biggest Queen sites "
  • This article still has a long while to go, but keep working! --Highway 16:56, 29 March 2006 (UTC)

After a "aggresive" reaction from the nominee, this article was re-nominated, only to be failed again by CorbinSimpson 22:26, 29 March 2006 (UTC)

Tacitus - FAILED - 30.3.06

Reasons:

  • Lead image has expired tag
  • Sloppy intro
  • Use "BC", "AD", "CE" or "BCE" alongside dates
  • Don't use "-" between phrases, prose into opening
    • Don't use parenthesis in this style "(first name)", prose into paragraph
    • Don't use "we" as possessive, use "they"
    • Use "BC", "AD", "CE" or "BCE" alongside dates
    • Explain significance of "of the Golden and Silver Ages"
    • Don't use iffy words such as "probably"
    • "The exact place and date of his birth are nowhere made explicit" should not be it's own sentence, merge with previous
    • "Nor is his praenomen" is repetition from earlier in the paragraph, and should be merged also if the earlier mention is removed
    • Don't use iffy words such as "some"
    • The whole paragraph involving "Cornelii" is lost in language which only amateurs of the subject could understand, I kinda grasped that he hated a clan perhaps?
    • "Descent and place of birth" is a horrid paragraph that I could barely understand, this needs to be made acessible
      • Fix dates (as above)
      • Remove uses of "we" (as above)
      • why are there "[...]" links in your centered paragraph? Fix!
      • Move "See also" to above "Notes"
  • *Head implodes* I guess you get the idea : P, this is an enjoyable and informative article, but I could barely understand it. Also, not many people have made any continuous edits, a few in the last couple days, then the 9th March. Revise this article with my notes (please don't take them personally), put in a block of work and then re-nominate Highway 15:45, 30 March 2006 (UTC)

Midnight Madness - FAILED - 30.3.06

Reasons:

  • Pictures:
    • LEAD PICTURE! This isn't even labelled! I fail any article without this, the image should be deleted or tagged, GA and FA are examples of Wikipedia's best work, it should be within the law!
  • Horrendous intro! This is what you have:
Midnight Madness is a 1980 cult comedy film from Walt Disney Pictures, starring David Naughton. The film is about a group of college students who participate in an all night puzzle solving race. This is Michael J. Fox's first film role.

Tagline: The most fun you'll ever have... in the dark. DVD Tagline: A Wacky College Adventure The film did poorly at the box office and was panned by critics, but later gained a cult following, and has served as the inspiration for many real-life puzzle and Alternate reality games.

    • This is awful, I would personally fail it now, an introduction is the most important part of an article, and this is a couple of Trivia facts flung together! It should be something like:
Midnight Madness is a 1980s comedy film from Walt Disney Pictures, featuring David Naughton and an unknown of the time, Michael J. Fox. The story follows a group of students who form and compete in a nighttime "puzzle-solving" race. Although the film was both panned by cinema-goers and critics, the film later received a cult following, inspiring many variated alternative reality games.
    • Taglines should be in trivia section, not the introduction.
  • The game
    • Prose instructions into para
    • Wikify
  • The Teams
    • Prose teams into para
  • The rest of the article is actually good, I'd pass it if the whole article was to that quality. Add References and add extra facts I've mentioned to Trivia, also use inline citation to link references. If this happens I'd be happy to review it (you'd probably want someone else : P) but keep working, you'll get there yet (Please do not take any comments personally) Highway 20:48, 30 March 2006 (UTC)

Mickey Mantle - PASSED - 31.3.06

Passed through association, there was a dispute over the intro, which was later fixed then promoted!

Babe Ruth - PASSED - 31.3.06

Ty Cobb - FAILED - 31.3.06

Reasons:

  • Lack of references
  • NO use of inline citation
  • And all but two of the pictures don't have the right tags

Good text, but these areas are way too sloppy to let it slide, fix it and renom please Highway 10:10, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

Babur - PASSED (2nd Attempt) - 31.3.06

1st Nom - Reasons:

  • Extremely inadequate and clumsy intro.
  • "'Babur' is a nickname, derived from the.." The opening paragraph should be strong and go with either the birth, importance or role, not the reasoning behind the nickname!
  • Single links are not a replacement for parenthesis - "[his given name]" should be "(his given name)"
  • Prose parenthesised information into the paragraph
  • "p173" What the..? Either you've crossed a book report with this article or someone has been copying information from other sources into this article, which is copyright violation (I now see the note and the bottom, but putting page numbers in articles is ridiculous. Inline citations were created for a reason
  • The man section (which is a bit of a brick) should be condensed and summarised into smaller chunks
  • Considerably beef up External Links and References, not nearly enough, articles should have more than one source..

Most of the text is good, but the points I've mentioned make this a fail. If you remedy them, please re-nom and it'll easily get through. Please don't take my comments personally Highway 12:18, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

2nd Nom -

  • Problems noted in the first nomination were revised and Babur later passed and earned GA status Highway 15:45, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

Persian Literature - PASSED - 31.3.06

Notes:

  • OMG! 54kb XD Can I reccommend some minor summarising, especially if you're eventually going for FA (which I reccommend you do) because they may kill you on it.
  • The introduction could use minor tweaking, but it's still very good
  • Make sure when using possessive language you don't use "we"
  • A fabulous article, albeit it did take a while to digest :P, and keep going for FA! Highway 16:19, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

2006 Winter Olympics - - 31.3.06

Note: I looked through other articles to find the style for this kind of articles. I am only failing this on style issues, if you can/wish to argue your reasons on style, then please do so. If I can appreciate your reasons then I'll happily award this article GA status. This was a very difficult choice, but I'm tempoarily failing this because I'm not knowledgable of Olympic style guide, the articles I did read seem stronger.

Reccommendations:

  • Expand intro, the others seemed stronger
  • Move sections that are in paragraphs (an exmaple of these is "Host selection process") to the top of the article, below the lists
  • Move the portal link to the very top of the article (compare with the link in Pokémon and Africa)
  • Put the external links at the very bottom, swapping it with references is somewhat confusing
  • I WOULD prose the "Highlights" rather than insane amounts of listing
  • Expand information on the opening ceremony with pictures, it was AMAZING, tell us about it!

It's still a very good article, please reply to me, I WANT to pass this but I need response! Many thanks, Highway 21:58, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

Vince Young - FAILED - 1.4.06

Reasons:

  • Messy linkage in the intro (why is there an "its" in the link?)
  • Don't put date/births in parenthesis, prose it paragraph
    • Expand "Personal", it's an important section, and is practically a stub
    • "High school career" should be retitled, prosed, and re-wrote.
    • Explain what a "letterwinner" is.
    • Explain what a " all-district performer" is.
    • Prose sections like this "(20+ points per game career average)" into the paragraph.
      • Give a quick definition of "redshirted", it seems important for it.
      • Explain what "6-1" refers me.
      • "He had a 6-1 record as a starter." should be merged into the previous sentence.
      • If terms such as "sophomore" and "freshman" are so intergral to Young's career, explain them, I'm not American so I'm rather lost.
      • Explain what the "Rose Bowl" is.
      • " regular season".. which would be?
      • Make that whole section non-football fan friendly, I can't understand it, and that's an automatic fail.
      • Prose the next TWO sections into paragraphs
        • Don't bulk up inline citation links
        • Make more non-football fan friendly again
          • Don't make notes about Notes!
          • Clean up External Links into one list

Confusing, listy and written by, for and about football fans. I'd ask for some out for help 12:25, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

Bohemian Rhapsody - FAILED - 1.4.06

Although I like the content at present, I'd like more, some sections are somewhat empty, while others are cluttered. My points on improving this are -

After failing this, I'm going to actually help this article, since PEOPLE are having a go at me, I'll note the points I've resurrected by striking them out.. here goes.
  • Intro:
    • "It was primarily composed on Freddie's Yamaha baby grand piano." Is not a good sentence, or a whole one for that matter. It doesn't fit in with the other content of the intro, it would be probably better suited in "Recording".
    • Capitilize "Vinyl" of "vinyl record" in the infobox.
    • " However, it was released as a single, and became a huge commercial success." should be merged into the "a capella" sentnece.
  • Recording:
    • Fixing the paragraphing! There's stray sentences random floating around.
    • "(a process known as splicing)" No brackets! Prose this into the paragraph.
    • Why is the equipment listed? No lists!
  • Structure and analysis:
    • Change the title, it doesn't convey that you're talking about the song
    • This section is actually good, but try to add more information, perhaps a picture of them singing in the a capella?
    • Explain the importance/difference of 7ths/keys/chords to non musicians
  • Video
    • Change the title, it's not informative
    • "it cost only £4500 to produce" compare to today's costs, compare between the two.
    • Fix the "visual feedback" link
    • "being double-tracked out of sync" ... which means?
    • Prose both mini paragraphs into one
      • "often cited as "the first ever music promo video"." This should be referenced via inline citation, as well as lots of other things..
      • "Taken literally, this statement is unlikely to be.." Merged this into to the previous sentence.
      • "rather than the BBC's generic dancers." Oh dear, I was wondering when POV was going to show.
  • Popularity
    • Clumsy writing
    • "double-A single".. which is?
    • Summarise the success in charts, does anyone care about Dutch taste?
    • Re-organise last two paragraphs into the existing ones
  • Trivia
    • Remove TV trivia, they're not very significant
    • I would personally move information about the song onstage to it's own section, mainly because of it's higher significance compared to the other trivia (moving the reference of concerts from the introduction to this paragraph would also be an idea.)
    • "The title does not appear anywhere within the words of the song." This link should be fixed: ie- not the whole sentence
  • Cover Versions
    • Clean up and remove POV and useless entries
  • References
    • Add lots more
    • Use inline citation
    • Add "URL Last Accessed" Link
  • External Links
    • Expand
    • Tidy up

Good but needs a lot of work, Highway 14:47, 1 April 2006 (UTC)

Goth - FAILED - 07.04.06

Reasons:

  • Intro
    • "prevalent" should be replaced with widespread/popular/common
    • "around the globe".. are they tiny goth people? This paints a somewhat confusing picture, do 3rd world nations have goths?
    • " traces its origins to the United Kingdom of the early 1980s" should be reworded to "in the early 1980s", unless you have a time machine :P
    • Prose 2nd paragraph for generalities, remember this is an intro; keep it BROOAD.
    • Move 3rd paragraph to the end of the first.
    • General clean up and prosing paragraphs
    • Swap image from "Origins and influences" with the one in the intro, it gives a better view of the style
  • English usage
    • Move Wikitonary link to External links
    • Remove the examples.. please
    • List what it IS used for, not what it ISN'T
    • Move this further down the article, this isn't the most important thing about goths is it?
  • Origins and influences
    • Add a introduction before going into subheaders, or simply remove the first subheader
    • "group or movement" Be Bold and choose one!
    • "in July 1982 might be seen as" Be Bold!
    • No brackets!
    • Don't leave random web links in parapgraphs, see WP:CITE on how to reference articles

(Apply the above points to the WHOLE article, that's the idea of it)

  • Other points
    • Improve prose in the 2nd half of "Etymology and Gothic horror literature"
    • Summarise and/or make "Early influences from Gothic literature and cinema" its own section
    • Avoid brackets
    • "Local scenes also contributed to this variation." = incomplete sentence-merge
    • " Melbourne playwright Sai Ho is " should be "Melbourne playwright, Sai Ho, is..."
    • Merge "Elder goths", "Corporate goths" and mentioning of "baby goths" to its own section
    • "Image:The Hunger film poster.jpg" requires sourcing
    • Add a photo of a goth band
    • Summarise, prose and cleanup the music section
  • References
    • Cut down "See Also"
    • Read WP:CITE to find out about how to reference
    • Clean up External links, leaving professional sites only

A good start, but needs cleanup. Asking for a copyedit from an admin would be useful, good luck Highway Rainbow Sneakers 17:43, 7 April 2006 (UTC)

Scarlett Johansson - FAILED - 07.04.06

Reasons:

  • Intro
    • Yep, that would be a sentence intro... I don't really care if it's the same as other actor articles, it isn't good enough
    • .. expanding may be an idea
  • Biography
    • Have an introduction to this before jumping into subheaders, alternatively remove the first subtitle
    • "Johansson was born in New York City." shouldn't be a stand-alone sentence, merge into the following one
    • "Her mother's ancestors were from Poland." same as above ^^^
    • "The granddaughter of screenwriter and director Ejner Johansson and the sister of actress Vanessa Johansson and twin sister to actor Hunter Johansson, and non-actor older half-brother Christian"... is this meant to be with the previous half sentence? Because it makes NO sense
    • "she graduated from The Professional Children's School in Manhattan in 2002." Should be it's own sentence with "Johansson" instead of "she".
  • Career
    • "(grossing only $964,308 worldwide)" No BRACKETS!!
    • "fender bender".. how professional..
    • "2006 was signed to L'Oreal [3] Her film" Full stops are SO in right now :P.
    • "Johansson was featured nude on the cover of the February 2006 issue of Vanity Fair magazine, with Keira Knightley. In March of 2006, she topped FHM's poll of the sexiest women alive, and responded to the news by saying that she was flattered to be thought sexy." If you're quoting someone, quotation marks do help. (though they're used later...)
  • Personal Life
    • "On several occasions, Johansson has claimed to be addicted to cheese, saying "My greatest vice is cheese. Nothing else reigns over my life." (The Observer Magazine December 28, 2003)" That should be linked via WP:CITE, I would delete it because of it's lack of enclyopedic worth
    • "Johansson has revealed that she has no problem with her male co-stars seeing her breasts, as she considers them to be her favourite feature. "I'm proud of my girls. They're my charms, my feminine wiles," she said in a January 2005 interview for Harper's Bazaar." DELETE THIS! Thank you :)
    • The rest of this paragraph is like this...
      1. remove all of this garb (keep the paparazzi and religion section)
      2. move the car crash into this section
      3. make the paragraph readable in English
      4. Prose it up
  • References & E.L.
    • Why is the Vanity Fair cover here? Move it to the relevant section
    • Rewrite link titles such as "Scarlet Johansson fan"
  • Images
    • The VF cover needs a fair use rationale
    • The "Love song for Bobby Long" needs a source and fair use
    • The leading picture needs a source and fair use

Well that was what only can be descrbed as pathetic (don't take that personally :S). This NEEDS a copyedit.. oh so badly.. Highway Rainbow Sneakers 20:47, 7 April 2006 (UTC)


Perfect Dark - FAILED - 07.04.06

Reasons:

  • First image: Perfect dark box.jpg
    • Needs Fair Use Rationale (FUR)
  • Second: PerfectDarkscreen1.jpg
    • Needs FUR
  • Third: Perfectdark1.jpg
    • Needs replaced with a smaller version
    • Needs sourced
    • Needs FUR
  • Fourth: Perfectdark2.jpg
    • Needs replaced with a smaller version
    • Needs sourced
    • Needs FUR
  • Fifth: Perfectdark3.jpg
    • Needs replaced with a smaller version
    • Needs sourced
    • Needs FUR
  • Sixth:
    • Needs sourced (I took the capture isn't good enough)
    • Needs FUR
  • References & E.L.
    • Cleanup
    • Chose between "retrieved" and "accessed"

No way will you pass FA or even GA with a major problem wrong with every image, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 23:24, 7 April 2006 (UTC)

Queen (band) - FAILED - 08.4.06

  • Fix this grammar error - "metal, and progressive"
  • Remove minor "crest" information from the introduction
  • Don't use italics for long sections of paragraphs
  • When listing members (in the second section) use "*" if you plan on not prosing
  • Don't repeat words, "able to create strange and unusual sound effects" & "able to create sound effects with his guitar that were so unusual".
  • Be bold, avoid terms such as "He added some special instruments here and there".
  • Improve "he played each chord separately in a different take, then the producer merged them to form the entire part"
  • "The History section is a brick, split up into different sections rather than a huge area with dates seperating the wall. Eg - "The Beginning" (1968 - 1970s)"
  • Avoid terms such as "(aka Wreckage)", use book English instead.
  • Don't use words such as " kicked off".
  • Prose these findings or ad in a Wikitable.
  • Convert chart numbers into a wikitable.

Well that's 12 full errors that I found last time that haven't been fixed (out of 21.) Which isn't counting my preferred style issues which I omitted. I am impressed the refs and external links being sorted out, but 12 mistakes that were pointed out isn't acceptable. Copyedit please, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 17:40, 8 April 2006 (UTC)

Friends - Nomination to-do list - 10.04.06

  • An article needs to be well sourced outwith wikipedia as well as within. Despite time consuming, I reccommend making articles on the following (unarticled) subjects:
    • Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions
    • Judy Geller
    • Mike Hannigan
    • All the episodes that are mentioned in the article The One With The Fertility Test, The One with the List, etc.
  • Intro
    • Tidy up intro
    • Note first and last episode
    • Make sure it isn't completely focused on the US (Friends is worlwide)
    • Expand
  • Overview
    • Move the plot stuff to the top, just my opinion.. it's more interesting..
    • Add an end spoiler tag after you've done
    • We need to cite all those figures
    • Move the stuff about the commercials etc to the "Ratings section"
  • Cast members
    • Images (I'll cover all of them at the end)
    • Why is there a picture there? *is shocked* AND WHY ARE THERE BRACKETS? :P
    • I would personally kill those tables, their small and ugly..
    • Merge with Guestars section
    • Phoebe's name is Hannigan!
    • Ugly Naked Guy appeared in one episode.. he must have been mentioned..
  • Running Gags
    • Move this to beneath synopsis
    • "his father is gay" - his father was the Arnold Schwartzanegger of gays :P
    • I may just rewrite this when I get the time.. or just cut stuff straight from the main article
  • Cultural Legacy & Spinoffs
    • Merge both of these with "Possible return to television" and name it "Legacies" and a sub-header being "Cultural Legacy"
    • Clean up Cultural
    • Move whole thing right underneath Running Gags (I'll do a plan for the article later)
  • Synopsises
    • I think the plural is "synopsi" but don't trust me on that.
    • Minor cleanup, might make more of a note to more eps
  • Ratings
    • Merge with whatever is left..
  • Guest Stars
    • Merge/Delete.. I really don't know..
  • Possible return to television
    • I know most of this is rumours ( read the talk page)
    • Merge with above
  • Trivia
    • The deleting fairy is coming...
    • Remove non-notable/useless garb (who got their addresses :o)
  • Trivia Game
    • .. Trivial
    • Merge with trivia probs
  • References
    • Make some...
    • Introduce you to a friend.. WP:CITE
  • External Links
    • Add
    • Fix
    • Delete spanish link...
  • Images
    • Friends.PNG
      • Fair Use Rationale (FUR)
      • Source (I'll get that)
    • TV The One After Ross Says Rachel.jpg
      • Has a review tag on it with no review....
      • Needs FUR
    • Phoebe Buffay 1.jpg
      • Source (proper source)
      • Needs FUR


  • I'd also like some of the surrounding subjects (episode guides, characters, lists etc) to be tidied up. If this ever goes up for FAC, they'll probably go through all those pages, so it helps. Hope I haven't dropped a breezeblock on you, it's not as much work as it sounds (okay it is) but it'll be worth it.. Anyway, I'll leave a copy of this on the Friends talk page in red and I'll cross out stuff as it gets done. Let's get going then (whenever) Cheers, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 21:40, 10 April 2006 (UTC)

Harry S. Truman - PASSED - 11.4.06

A wonderful insight and a pleasure to read! Highway Rainbow Sneakers 18:55, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

Lord of the Rings - FAILED - 21.4.06

This article has many Fair-use images, which all need clean-up and not a single one has a fair use rationale. You also have a section with a cleanup tag, yes. Fix these problems and renominate. Cheers, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 17:40, 17 April 2006 (UTC)

Super Smash Bros. Melee - FAILED - 21.4.06

Piles of uncited info and no Fair Use Rationales on images. Fix these and re-apply, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 22:10, 21 April 2006 (UTC)

Xiaolin Showdown - FAILED - 21.4.06

Reasons for failing -

  • cleanup tags
  • stub sections
  • empty sections
  • non-notable episodes
  • no references

Fix then please re-apply, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 22:39, 21 April 2006 (UTC)

Canadian Peacekeeping Service Medal - FAILED - 22.4.06

Reasons for failing GA -

  • Bad intro
  • Needing more commas
  • Too short

Fix and re-apply please! Cheers, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 22:08, 22 April 2006 (UTC)

Lord of the Rings FAC

[edit]
  • dodgy tenses - plot
  • Writing and intro to similar
  • "filled in the gaps" is not brilliant prose
  • "Thus to understand his writings we must be aware of how Tolkien, the schola,r influenced Tolkien, the author." we aren't a child
  • "Tolkien's work has been commonly interpreted in this light." - dodgy, short sentence
  • "He thought about using Bilbo's son but this generated some difficult questions — Where was his wife? How could Bilbo let his son go into that kind of danger? — so he looked for an alternate character to carry the ring. In Greek legend, it was a hero's nephew that gained the item of power, and so the hobbit Frodo came into existence." It's like you're talking, not writing.