User talk:Josephkwasigroch

Welcome!

Hello, Josephkwasigroch, I'm user:Girth Summit and I hereby welcome you to Wikipedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are a few links to pages you might find helpful:

• Introduction and Getting started
• Contributing to Wikipedia
• The five pillars of Wikipedia
• How to edit a page and How to develop articles
• Using Reliable Sources
• Simplified Manual of Style

You can visit the Teahouse to ask questions or seek help (or contact me at my talkpage).

I'd particularly like to discuss a few of the edits you made over at Concussions in American Football.

In your first edit, you changed all the section headings so that they were in heading case (ie: all the words start with a capital). If you consult the Manual of Style, you'll see that they were intentionally in sentence case (ie: only the first word starts with a capital, unless there is another reason to capitalise any of the other words).

In that same edit, you added a number of entries that were a little problematic. For example:

• "After two lawsuits, one of which being a $10,000 fine to the Seahawks..." - a lawsuit can result in a fine; it cannot be a fine.
• "Russell Wilson was put back in the game..." - You haven't explained in this section who Russell Wilson is, or why this is information relevant to this section. (Well done though for spotting and fixing the bolding issue)
• "Although most studies find a strong correlation between..." - the language used in this section could be seen as WP:Editorializing. It is also making assertions about health, which are biomedical and so need to be supported by WP:MEDRS sources. JournalistResource.org wouldn't be permissable.
• "On the other had, many people..." WP:Editorializing again.

In your next edit, you discuss a new type of helmet, an assert that it is 'known to reduce concussions' - this is another biomedical assertion, which would need to be supported by a WP:MEDRS source. The Fox News website is not a suitable source for assertions like this. You could consider rewriting and moderating the language somewhat, by saying that the design aims to better protect against concussion or whatever. We can't say that it actually works without very strong evidence.

I've reverted the changes that you made; I hope that you can see why from the notes above. Please do read the guidelines I've linked you to, and give me a shout here or on my talk page if you'd like to discuss any of the points I've made. Happy editing! Girth Summit (talk) 10:27, 7 August 2018 (UTC)