User talk:Purple563/sandbox
Draft feedback[edit]
Hi, Julia!
You make some very strong additions to this article in your draft! The activities and programs and list of current commissioners are particularly helpful. I'm curious whether there are other activities/programs, or examples of specific work these programs have led to/major relief they have offered consumers in specific instances. It might also be interesting to know how the law has changed since it was first signed (for example, what about it was reformed in February of 2018?).
There are some small grammar/word choice bits sprinkled throughout that I think a careful proofread will help with. A couple of examples: it's probably fine to just say "at the beginning of 2018" rather than "at the beginning of the year of 2018." (near the end of the first paragraph) You probably also don't need the "moreover" at the beginning of the second paragraph. You will also want to cite/add references for the objectives section.
I look forward to seeing what else you add to this article! Nicoleccc (talk) 00:10, 29 October 2018 (UTC)
Draft review[edit]
Hi Julia! Overall I think this is a really good draft, the introduction is good and I love the list of current commissioners! There are just a couple of spelling/grammatical errors that I noticed; Nicole already pointed out a couple, and another that I don't think she mentioned is that it says 'Abril' instead of 'April' in the commissioners list. I also wanted to know if the list is in any specific order - it looks like chronological order, except for the last 2. Great work so far! Claire.pixie (talk) 22:25, 30 October 2018 (UTC)