Wikipedia:Peer review/Flag of Japan/archive3

Flag of Japan[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to send this article to FAC sometime in the future. The last time I sent this article there, it needed some copyediting. Now, with the ongoing Flag of Singapore FAC, the standards of FAC have changed. This includes the alt text, which is something I am working on. The image sourcing is being taken care of and I think all of the dates have been delinked. If you have anything else, just let me know.

Thanks, User:Zscout370 ^{(Return Fire)} 20:03, 29 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- http://www.mopedronin.com/kimigayo.html deadlinks. What makes it a reliable source also?
- What makes http://japan-world.iza.ne.jp/images/user/20070102/35233.jpg a reliable source?
- I remain uncomfortable with http://flagspot.net/flags/ being used. It does list some sources, but it strikes me as a worrisome site to use, because some of the sourcing seems to be just to individuals. At FAC, I would probably bring this up and leave it for other reviewers to decide for themselves, but lean unreliable myself.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 15:51, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

Comments by an odd name—just curious.

No dabs or dead external links (after some small edits)—good.
The alt text for File:Flag of JSDF.svg, however, is confusing, if not wrong. It says "A red sun with eight rays on a white background. On each side of the flag is an inverted golden triangle." Are you using "side" in the polygonal sense? Either way, the eight golden triangles I see on the flag don't seem inverted to me. Maybe I'm missing something.
Ref dates are consistent ISO style, and most (if not all) text dates are Month Day, Year—good.

If featured, it would be only the third current FA on an Asian flag—fourth if counting Singapore. --an odd name 16:59, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

And that will be two that are crafted from my hands. I will fix the alt text now for that image. User:Zscout370 ^{(Return Fire)} 17:57, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: I believe an archiving mixup has occurred. I reviewed this article on December 5, 2009, but the review has been archived as WP:Peer_review/Flag_of_Japan/archive1. Possibly I posted my comments to the wrong place; I'm not sure. The bottom line is that perhaps you did not see this review. It should probably become part of Archive 3. Would you like me to move it here via copy and paste? Finetooth (talk) 05:46, 17 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, but keep in mind that a lot of the things you have suggested have been just completed now or I fixed at the suggestion of other users. User:Zscout370 ^{(Return Fire)} 06:04, 17 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK. I'm moving it now. I left it in Archive 1 as well because I'm reluctant to remove anything from an archive. This is a messy solution, but at least the review will not be lost. I don't always watch my peer reviews closely after I've finished them, and I often don't know if any particular bit of advice I've given has been taken or not. I don't keep score, in other words. I just hope my reviews are useful. Finetooth (talk) 16:18, 17 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Any little bit is useful. I managed to make all the changes last night, along with adding a few more citations. User:Zscout370 ^{(Return Fire)} 18:59, 17 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This is quite interesting and generally well-written. It seems comprehensive, stable, neutral, verifiable, and it's well-illustrated. I made a few minor proofing changes, and I have suggestions related mainly to prose, Manual of Style, and technical issues.

The alt viewer here finds several images that need alt text. It is meant to help readers who can't see the images, including the flags. WP:ALT has details.

The link checker here finds six dead urls in the citations.

Image:服喪の町並み.jpg has a problem on its licensing page. The clickable source link goes to the image itself rather than to a web site with information a fact-checker will need in order to verify the license.

Lead

Unlink "flag" and "Sun" since they are well-known to most English speakers?

Before 1945

"Nichiren gave a sun banner to the shogun to carry into battle... " - Wikilink shogun on first use?
"The earliest recorded flags in Japan date from the unification period." - It might be helpful to say what years the unification period refers to.

Postwar period

"The Hinomaru was the de facto albeit not de jure flag throughout World War II and the occupation period." - It might be helpful to link or briefly explain in parentheses the two Latin phrases.
"Despite what has been claimed, however, this was never used as a national flag for Japan during this time period." - Needs a source. Who made this claim, and who denied it?
Overlinking: World War II needs to be linked no more than twice (once in the lead and once on first use in this section).
"At a Democratic Party of Japan rally on August 8... " - Abbreviate here as well as spell out; i.e,, "At a Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) rally on August 8". The abbreviation by itself is OK on subsequent use.
"a photograph was taken of a banner that was hanging down from a ceiling" - Tighten by deleting "down"?
"This infuriated the governing party, the Liberal Democratic Party and party president (and also prime minister) Taro Aso, saying this act by the DPJ was not forgivable." - Suggestion: "This infuriated the governing party, the Liberal Democratic Party, and the party president (and also prime minister) Taro Aso, who said that this act by the DPJ was not forgivable."

Design

"the total size of the hoist length" - Explain or link "hoist length"?
"The disc is decreed to be in the center, but is usually placed one-hundredth (1/100) of the flag width towards the hoist." - Why this very precise number? Is it significant in some way?
"The overall ratio of the flag was changed to two units length by three units width (2:3)." - Earlier you use height and width but here length and width. It would be easier to compare them if you used the same words (probably height and width). From what you've said, the ratio changed from 7:10 to 2:3, if I'm understanding this correctly.

Present-day perception

"In China and South Korea, both occupied by Japan during Empire of Japan, Japanese flags were burnt during protests against Japan's foreign policies or if a Japanese prime minister visits the Yasukuni Shrine in Tokyo." - Verb-tense disagreement. Shouldn't it be "visited" rather than "visits"? Also, the sentence implies that the Chinese or Koreans burn the Japanese flag when a Japanese prime minister visits the Yasukuni Shrine, but in those cases aren't the flag-burners Japanese?

Use and customs

"The flag is used as a good luck charm and also as a prayer to wish the soldier back safely from battle.　One term for this kind... " - Should the 　 be in parentheses" with a space afterwards? And again "the Kyushu Railway Company has displayed Japan's flag on 330 manned stations.[38]　" here?
Image:Tokyu Bus 7707.jpg overlaps two sections. The Manual of Style recommends keeping images entirely inside of a single section.

Protocol

"When flying the Japanese flag with that of another country, the Japanese flag takes the position of honor and the flag of the guest country flies to its right at the same height." - Misplaced modifier. The Japanese flag doesn't fly the Japanese flag. Perhaps "When people fly the Japanese flag... "?
"When the flag becomes unsuitable to use, it is preferred to burn the flag in private." - Suggestion: "When the flag becomes unsuitable to use, it is customarily burned in private."
"It said that the sphere finial of the pole... " Wikilink or explain "sphere finial".
"the black cloth that extends to the width of the fly of the flag... " - Wikilink or explain "the fly of the flag"?

Military

"This is the only branch of service whose emblem does not invoke the rayed Imperial Standard." - A branch of service is a "which" rather than a "who". Suggestion: "This is the only branch of service with an emblem that does not invoke the rayed Imperial Standard."
"However, the branch does have an ensign to fly on bases and during parades." - Wikilink or explain "ensign"?
"The ensign was created in 1972, which was the third used by the JASDF since their creation." - Since "its" creation?

Imperial

"The standard of the Japanese emperor" - Wikilink or explain "standard" in the caption?
Was there any particular reason for the choice of a chrysanthemum?

References

Citation 64 should link to the source page rather than to a .jpg image by itself.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 18:52, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]