Wikipedia:Peer review/Hotel Chevalier/archive1

Hotel Chevalier

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This is one of my first attempts at writing a comprehensive article on a fictional topic, so I am interested in getting feedback on any shortfalls. I'm somewhat out of my comfort zone in writing syopsis/plot sections and alt text in particular, so advice on that particularly appreciated. I hope to nominate the article for featured status if all goes well. Mahalo,  Skomorokh  15:55, 31 December 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: I thought I'd take a brief look at this and then perhaps review it later in the day. However, I was immediately drawn in. I suppose this has something to do with the subject matter, but it also has something to do with the high quality of the prose. Nice job. I have only a few suggestions.

• The alt text looks fine, and there are no dead links or disambiguation problems.
• The images look fine. However, the source link on the license page for the cover-art image doesn't link to the source; it links only to the image. To make it easier for fact-checkers to verify the source, the link should go to the page from which the image was copied.

Lead

• "Hotel Chevalier is a short film by director Wes Anderson, released in 2007." - Since Anderson wasn't released in 2007, I'd think about recasting this opening sentence. Suggestion: "Hotel Chevalier is a short film directed by Wes Anderson and released in 2007."
• I'd consider splitting the single paragraph in two between "500,000 times" and "Hotel Chevalier".
• "The film garnered near-universal critical acclaim, with reviewers praising its richness, poignancy and careful construction, and comparing it favorably with The Darjeeling Limited." - I think it's generally best to avoid using "with" as a conjunction, especially multiple times in the same article. Suggestion: "The film garnered near-universal acclaim from reviewers, who compared it favorably with The Darjeeling Limited and praised its richness, poignancy, and careful construction."

Synopsis

• "showing the woman perched against an armoire" - Wikilink armoire?
• "After they step out on the balcony together" - Tighten by deleting "together"?

Background and production

• "It was shot by a crew of 15 using Panavision film stock" - Wikilink film stock?
• "The dialogue exchanged by the characters at the end of Chevalier... ". - Perhaps "between the characters" instead of "exchanged by the characters"?
• "is recounted by Schwartzman's characters to his brothers at the close of the feature film" - Should this be "is recounted by Whitman to his brothers... "?
• "Portman's character has a brief cameo" - Wikilink cameo?

Release

• "A press release posted before the première "the brief coda to a doomed romance and the prologue to The Darjeeling Limited"." - Missing word or words? Perhaps "A press release posted before the première described it as, "the brief coda... "?

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 20:02, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

• You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 16:24, 11 January 2010 (UTC)