Wikipedia:Peer review/Kamogawa Sea World/archive1

Kamogawa Sea World

I've listed this article for peer review because… I am a new editor and I am not sure whether I am doing right. When I am writing this article, I found a lot of sentences which highly praise the Kamogawa Sea World. I think they are not neutral so I didn't use them. But in this case the introducing sentences seem to be too simple. Is there any better way to deal with such sentences? Also, I found a lot of images when I looked the main webpage of Kamogawa Sea World itself especially about the activity and facility. I don't know whether I can use them? Where can I find more images besides wikimedia? Finally, do you think some of my sections are helpless? Can you give me some advice about that? Thanks, YIFAN Andrew Wang (talk) 06:53, 16 October 2018 (UTC)

@YIFAN Andrew Wang: I'd be glad to give some pointers, although I'm not an expert nor a peer reviewer, I am from Wikipedia:WikiProject Amusement Parks if you're interested in joining such communities to ask for help. Sources that either give positive or negative point of view can be used if the information is factual. Though when writing the article, editors should deal with such in a neutral point of view, that being, to give due weight. If something seems bias, try re-writing it according to all reliable sources view points on the subject matter. A good way to compare writing would to look at policies that give examples for such like Wikipedia:NPOV tutorial or articles that have Good Article or Featured status, such as Cedar Point; looking at our project guidelines to amusement park articles layout as a guidance tool is helpful when creating or expanding articles as well as MOS:Layout for general Wikipedia articles. Where you can, you may expand or merge section together where there's little information. Make sure the article has a flow, and don't list too many things where they can be in the form of a paragraph.

Images on Wikipedia and WikiCommons are not usually my forte, although great resources to ask about would be to confer at commons:Commons:Village pump or Wikipedia:Help desk, Wikipedia's Teahouse, or look at our policies on images and copyrighted material (I find creative-commons to be a useful tool to finding freely licensed content, though make sure to refer to the image policy)

On sections, I wouldn't say they're helpless, though they would need to be reworded as to not sound like a travel guide. For instance, removing the instances of "you" for "guests", and to not be too specific; give a general understanding of what the park has to offer for attractions and an overview of its history, attractions, entertainment, awards, and other information that may adhere to amusement parks. Moreover, I would try to find more secondary sources that are reliable and verifiable and limit the usage of primary sources or sources that have information from basic review channels (i.e. TripAdvisor I would avoid, attempt to find more professional reviews from reliable secondary sources). If needing help to citing sources properly, I would suggest reading WP:CITE as it is very useful to different kinds of sources. I would say you're on the right track for editing though so be bold and keep on editing! And if needed, you're welcome to seek help from our projects talk page as there are editors there that specialize better in amusement parks and roller coaster subjects! Adog104 ^{Talk to me} 22:51, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Can I remove the template about insufficient inline citation?

Hello, I noticed that I receive a template said my article has insufficient inline citation.

After asking my teacher, I think it because I added citation after the subheadings rather than the inline sentences. But it seems the article has over citation now. Is it fine now?

Also, since I have added inline citation now, can I remove the template now or not? Although the wikipage Help:Maintenance template removal said I can remove the template when the issue has been adequately addressed, I am not sure whether I did right or I had fixed the issue.

Thank you.YIFAN Andrew Wang (talk) 06:40, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

@YIFAN Andrew Wang: Yes you may remove the template since you have properly fixed the inline citation. Adog104 ^{Talk to me} 18:10, 23 October 2018 (UTC)

Thank you.YIFAN Andrew Wang (talk) 20:34, 23 October 2018 (UTC)