Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/Archive 18

This is an archive of past discussions. Do not edit the contents of this page. If you wish to start a new discussion or revive an old one, please do so on the current talk page.

Archive 15

Archive 16

Archive 17

Archive 18

Archive 19

Draft article: Obama Conspiracy Theories [the web site] feedback requested

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kwdavids/Obama_Conspiracy_Theories

Thanks, Kevin (talk) 02:59, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

At most, this is a stub that should be relocated to the page on President Obama. However, it seems to be a mere promotion for the website, which is inappropriate. Xcviii (talk) 01:34, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

I can not move my article... Please help

Done

Hello, I have created a new page User:Theultravisitor/enjoythezoo But I'm unable to move it, I have seeked much advice and help on making my article up to wiki standards. (Which I believe I have). Thanks for all the help!

Theultravisitor (talk) 03:21, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

It appears it has been nominated for WP:AfD, so I'll let that process take over.--SPhilbrick T 23:01, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

Primer dimer

Done

Hi there, I would love to have your feedback on my (first) new article about Primer dimers, by products in PCR, a common method used in molecular biology. The article will benefit from the treatment of a native english speaker and one who is familiar with wiki style. Thanks in advance :o) Tzachi Bar (talk) 14:49, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

I'm so impressed. Just a few notes: 1)There are no inline citations in nearly the first half of the article. 2)It's not recommended to have a seperate summary section in Wikipedia. 3)The illustration title has a typo mistake, it says: "dimmer". Sole Soul (talk) 18:53, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

hi, thanks for the compliment and the feedback. I fixed the figure and moved the summary to the body of the text. There are no references in the first half of the text mostly because it is based on very old (20-25 years) material which became commmon knowledge for people working in the field. However, if you find on-line references from these years you are welcome to add them.Tzachi Bar (talk) 21:31, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

I like your article also very much. I have just corrected some typos. Although there are many single references for the second part of the article, I would appreciate some additional refrences for the first part as well. In particular, do you have a reference for "However, this method is unfavored due to the high risk of contaminating the lab with PCR product."? Thanks, --Firefly's luciferase (talk) 21:36, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Hassaan Namdar

Done

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ashuhsan1/Hassaan_Namdar:[[Hassaan Namdar] —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ashuhsan1 (talk • contribs) 15:51, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

Appears to be an opinion piece about how beautiful the name is. This is not appropriate for an article as there has not been coverage from reputable sources (academic texts, newspapers, and such) about the subject.Cptnono (talk) 06:55, 5 December 2009 (UTC)

The Polyphonics Chorus

Done

The Polyphonics Chorus

My first effort. Hope is Ok

The Polyphonics (talk) 23:39, 8 November 2009 (UTC)

The article needs a lot of work before it is ready for main article space. Here are some suggestions:

Read the Manual of Style and the layout guideline to find out the correct layout for a Wikipedia article. In particular, note the standard sections that are required in a Wikipedia article.
Add sources for the facts quoted on the article.
Add references to independent, third-party sources to show the notability of the article's subject. This is very important.
Note that links to external web sites should be moved into references or into an External links section - they should not usually be embedded in the article text. Gandalf61 (talk) 09:37, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

The Little Foundation

Done

Please take a look at The Little Foundation article. It needs reveiewing by someone other than myself - it is a short article so shouldn't take much time. The sources have been verified and fact checked but of course there may be errors and omissions that I have over looked and wiki editing mistakes (my first article) although I have read the tutorials and used a wizard. Thank you for your time.Timfacer (talk) 10:48, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

The article needs more sources, and specifcially needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:46, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

See WP:CORP for guidance on notability of organisations. – ukexpat (talk) 17:54, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Interactive Design Institute

Done

Hi Wiki editors,

I would be really grateful for any feedback on my draft article.

User:Emmasinclair/new_article_name_here

thanks so much

Emmasinclair (talk) 13:32, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

You will need to cite some reliable sources that demonstrate how the Institute is notable. Notability is the primary inclusion criterion here on Wikipedia, so without references for notability the article will not survive long on mainspace. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 16:54, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Institute of Plant Genetic

Done

Hello, here is the article I was asked a feedback: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_of_plant_genetic

Thank you for your help.

Cypherinfo (talk) 13:49, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

The facts given in the article need references that link them to the sources from which the facts were taken. In addition, the article needs references to third-party sources to show the notability of its subject. Gandalf61 (talk) 14:12, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

page for Dr. Shashi P. Karna (world's reknowned nano Physicst)

Done

Though still in the making, I thought of creating a wiki page for one of the most top most nano Physicist Dr. Shashi P. Karna. Will appreciate any and all comments about the page.

Few things which I am yet to do:

1. fix the reference, external and internal links (still figuring out how to do that). 2. waiting on to get a list from his fellow student on a)his 500+ papers b)his work cross referenced at 300+ papers including few noble laureates c)latest list of conference and symposiums he chaired 3. upload newer picture

thanks Ishekhar (talk) 15:34, 9 November 2009 (UTC)Indu (redacted email)

Looks like you figured out how to do external references; but you have a few more to do. Someone helped fix the internal references; if you look at the edit history, you'll see how it was done. Good start.--SPhilbrick T 19:30, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Kbaughan1/Hamilton Road Cemetery, Deal, Kent

Done

User:Kbaughan1/Hamilton Road Cemetery, Deal, Kent

Hi,

Just looking for some constructive feedback on how I can improve my article prior to publishing it in its own right? Kbaughan1 (talk) 17:20, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

You've done a lot of work on this article, very nice start. Thnaks for all the references, one of the usual problems with new article is a paucity of references.

My Main suggestion is to take a look at WP:Layout. You've done a decent job of creating relevant sections, but some of the advice in Layout should improve the article. For example, the lead should have one photograpph, pick the most representative one, and anchor it in the upper right.
It is natural to create numbered lists of the graves by section, but the presentation could be better. You should look at Wikipedia:Lists for ways to improve the presentation. I wonder if tables might be a better way? You might look at other article on cemeteries, e.g. Arlington National Cemetery, for ideas.
Your "Sources" section entries should use Wikipedia:Citation templates
The Press Section section doesn't belong there. If used as a reference, it should be converted to a reference. --SPhilbrick T 18:25, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

Torben Thoger

Done

Hello, I am Villy Johansen (Username Villyjohan) and have almost an article / biography ready on [Torben Thoger] and would very much like to have some comments on my article. I have put plenty of links to verify the facts, but I did not mention any references yet. Where would it be appropiate to have references? Much of the information - for instance about Torben Thoger's childhood and his interest in spirituality, I have from himself, since I have interviewed him to get it all directly from the main source. How do I put that information in the article? I cannot upload photos and I wonder how I can fill in the contents box, but I guess I will be able to do all that when it has been saved for approval. Of course I have read as much I could about the editing, but this is my first article and I would be very grateful for any help to improve the biography on Torben Thoger. --Villyjohan (talk) 19:43, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

I see two important concerns:

You should address the first one first, as making proper references is a bit of work, and I don't want to encourage you to do that work if you cannot establish notability.

The link above is the general discussion of notability, for more specific discussion of people in the music business, see WP:Music

It is important to establish notability early. Ideally it is stated in the lead, and supported with references either in the lead or in the first subsequent paragraph. I see you have included links. I didn't check them all, but I checked the first few and didn't see any that would qualify as reliable sources.

You said "Much of the information - for instance about Torben Thoger's childhood and his interest in spirituality, I have from himself, since I have interviewed him to get it all directly from the main source. How do I put that information in the article?" Unfortunately, the short answer is, you cannot. While this answer surprises some people, as first-hand evidence would seem to be the best, it is first-hand to you, and not independently verifiable. Independent verification is a critical aspects of this encyclopedia. Sorry. (If you can arrange for a reputable newspaper to interview you and publish the results, that would be acceptable.)

I see that Thoger has been covered by a newspaper, but I don't believe a scan of a headline will qualify as a verifiable source. Perhaps someone else will weigh in if it is acceptable. It would be much better to identify the date of the publication, so it could be verified.

Finally, this is the second time today I've seen that external link that goes nowhere. Not sure where you got it, but it should be removed.--SPhilbrick T 22:43, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

OK, I now understand why the external link is there—it is a placeholder created by the Article Wizard so you can replace it with your external links if you need any. If you don't plan to have any, just remove that section.--SPhilbrick T 22:48, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

Dixon Hughes

Done

Dixon Hughes

Here is a link to my article. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DHMKTG/Dixon_Hughes

Help/Feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.

DHMKTG (talk) 21:09, 9 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment it reads like a marketing blurb for the firm and that's in contravention of WP:Spam, so it will have to be rewritten from a more neutral point of view. Also your user name is probably in violation of the user name policy. – ukexpat (talk) 21:39, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

I have revised my article and would love additional feedback from the wiki community. Thanks! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DHMKTG/Dixon_Hughes DHMKTG (talk) 18:43, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

OK first point, please log in and edit under your new username, User:AGHarrison. If you continue to edit under your old name, it will be blocked. The article is in your new userspace at User:AGHarrison/Dixon Hughes. I will moved the draft to the mainspace at Dixon Hughes. – ukexpat (talk) 19:09, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

B-Hoody

Done

B-Hoody (LilKray4556 (talk) 00:12, 10 November 2009 (UTC)) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-Hoody Hello,my name is A.J. Awatt and I created a wikipage for "B-Hoody" and I would like to get some feedback on what I should change on it. Please and thank you!

At present, there are no references in the article, and nothing to indicate why this person is notable. You'll also want to look at WP:BAND. For help adding references, see Wikipedia:Citing sources and Wikipedia:Footnotes--SPhilbrick T 18:34, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

B-Hoody has been speedily deleted as not indicating the importance or significance of the subject. – ukexpat (talk) 21:46, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

Article name: XAND

Done

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Levi999/Xand —Preceding unsigned comment added by Levi999 (talk • contribs) 06:30, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

Hello,

I have started a user subpage draft of an article on XAND, a new disease entity. This is a distinct subset of the general galaxy of patients suffering from what is known as "chronic fatique syndrome", a controversial medical topic.

My concern is the notability test of this topic, since there is an existing article on the proposed causative agent,a retrovirus named XMRV. There is also some mention of XMRV on a subpage of the chronic fatigue article.

I would like to gather some thoughts on this prospective article before investing significant time in drafting it. Thanks for your help.Levi999 (talk) 06:23, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

NetDocuments

Done

I created an entry for NetDocuments a few weeks ago. The article still needs to be reviewed and was hoping to get some feedback on it. I have included a number of relevant links and sources to make the article credible.

Thanks,

Dannymjohnson —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dannymjohnson (talk • contribs) 17:20, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

You need to establish why this company is notable. While you have some references , most are PR releases or company produced. If you have third party coverage in WP:RS, I missed it. Please take a look at Wikipedia:Citing sources and Wikipedia:Footnotes to improve the referencing. (But don't waste time on cleaning up references is you cannot satisfy the Notability requirement.)--SPhilbrick T 18:44, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

NAFTA & The 100 Mile Diet: Economic Implications

Done

NAFTA & The 100 Mile Diet: Economic Implications

We created this article for a class project and we would appreciate your feedback in order to complete our project. Thanks. TianaSammy (talk) 19:09, 10 November 2009 (UTC)TianaSammy,November 10th, 2009

I think the use of Wikipedia as a class assignment is a good idea.

I hope, whether this article survives or not, it has been a learning experience, and you will continue to contribute to Wikipedia in other ways.

First, the nitpicks:

The external link ~~is bad. Not sure what you intended.~~was intended as a sample, replace it if you need one, or remove it.
Good to see referencing, but the referencing style should be improved. Check out WP:Footnotes. If that's confusing, say so, and I'll fix one as an example.

Now, a bit more editorial commentary:

The lead is confusing. It starts out talking about a diet, then jumps to NAFTA, without a clear transition. I wonder if you should talk about NAFTA first - not sure, I just had trouble following the point.
I'm concerned about WP:OR. The diet is notable, the agreement is notable, and it is interesting to discuss the tension between the two, but this smacks of original thought. Normally, original thought is a good thing, not a bad thing, and you are to be commended for that aspect. However, an encyclopedia isn't a place for original thought, it's a place to document the original thoughts of others (crudely, and simplistically stated). You need to show that others have discussed the tension between the globalization concepts of NAFTA and the localization concepts of the diet. (I didn't read every one of your footnotes - if some do make the point, great, but I didn't see it in the article.)

Back to nitpicks: This sentence "Even though Canada could not agree, there was conflict which resulted in a dispute settlement in 1995 ending in Canada’s favor" needs work. Canada couldn't agree to what? (Yes, the answer is in the citation, though not well-written there, but a citation is for support, not explanation.)--SPhilbrick T 21:00, 10 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment

Hi...

My article name is: User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment . User:Grizzleemusic/Bill Silva Entertainment

I wanted to profile one of my favorite concert promo companies by describing the business based on information that I know firsthand and based on information from their website. Since this is my first post, I'm not sure if I did everything right. Please review this SIMPLE page and let me know if it is ready to publish... Thanks!

...Alex Loucas

Grizzleemusic (talk) 00:11, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately, we can't place information and articles in Wikipedia based on firsthand knowledge; we have to instead use reliable sources. Your main problem is that your article doesn't have any. You need to find reliable, secondhand information to use in your article, and to prove notability. It might be that this company doesn't meet the notability requirements for Wikipedia. Check the page WP:ORG to find out. Annalise (talk) 16:59, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Done

Patient Safety and Quality Improvement Act

Done

Patient Safety and Quality Improvement Act

This is my first attempt at starting a new page. Please be gentle! Right now it's sitting in my user space in a sandbox.

It probably would take a while to complete this page. Is it appropriate to put it into wikipedia space before it is completed?

Rsjaffe (talk) 03:58, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Moved into Wikipedia space

Rsjaffe (talk) 15:40, 14 November 2009 (UTC)

This is a draft for an improvement of an existing article: Hans Scherfig (danish author)

Done

User:Harlekin96/sandbox

What I have done is trying to merge a longer danish article dk:Hans Scherfig with the existing english one about the same subject matter Hans Scherfig.

Simultaneously with translating the danish article I have tried to make the disposition of the resulting combined article more clear using telling sub sections. Harlekin96 (talk) 09:40, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Female sexual arousal and orgasm

Done

I have written a draft article with the above title.

I would like to find out whether it would be possible to have it published as a standalone article on Wikipedia.

Kind regards, Jane

Nosper (talk) 10:13, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Hi there. Wikipedia is happy to have you writing drafts, but unfortunately articles encompassing this subject already exist in various forms. Check the orgasm and sexual arousal pages. --tennis man 14:42, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Junzo Sakakura

Done

Junzo Sakakura

I've written an article on this Japanese Modernist Architect who apprenticed with the French Modernist, Le Corbusier. Two (of a total of three) other Japanese architects who apprenticed with Corbusier: Kunio Maekawa and Takamasa Yoshizaka are included elsewhere in Wikipedia. Also he is linked to in the article on Japanese Architecture.

I would be grateful for any feedback you may have on the article.

Kenchikuben (talk) 14:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Nice work! I have reviewed and made some minor formatting changes. – ukexpat (talk) 18:09, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Project Talent

Done

Greetings editors. I am requesting feedback on my recent submission Project Talent. Currently, it is tagged as "new unreviewed article."

Project Talent is listed under the category Educational Research. It was the largest survey on the aptitudes and abilities of U.S. high-schoolers ever undertaken, with multiple follow-up studies, and is still widely cited in education literature today. Therefore, I believe the article meets the notability standard, and it is heavily referenced. However, I am new to Wikipedia editing and would appreciate some general input. As a researcher, I have several topics that I would like to add to Wikipedia (all of which I believe meet the standards) but I feel I should solicit input on my first effort before blazing ahead. Any and all comments welcome and most of all someone to do the first review and hopefully get rid of the "new unreviewed" tag. Thanks so much!

MuddsMistake (talk) 17:24, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Looks fine to me. I have removed the unreviewed tag. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:44, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Solid PDF Tools

Done

I'd welcome any feedback on the article User:HikeBandit/Solid PDF Tools. This is my first full article for Wikipedia, so pointers would be appreciated. HikeBandit (talk) 21:54, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

It needs a lot more work on notability -- how is this particular utility notable and do reliable sources exist to support notability? The existing reference is basically a self-reference and insufficient. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 22:06, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

Firman R. Grubb

Done

Firman R. Grubb

I am requesting a review of my first article, mainly because I have used a newspaper article as the main content. I couldn't write the bio any better, so why even try? I found the article at the newspaper's web site some years ago, but don't know if it is still there.

LynnSGrubb (talk) 23:53, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

"why even try?" That's called a copyright violation, and is not permitted here. --Orange Mike | Talk 00:33, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Larry Coon

Done

Hello Wiki editors, I have created an article about Larry Coon, an expert regarding the NBA Salary Cap. I'm not experienced in creating Wiki articles, but was surprised Mr. Coon did not have an entry in Wikipedia. So I am asking if there are any NBA fans, writers or bloggers that are more experienced on Wikipedia that could add to the article. Thanks. DD2K (talk) 00:34, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

This is the right place for general advice, and it looks like he deserves an article. You might post on the talk page of the WikiProject Basketball. On the plus side, that's where you are more apt to find editors with specific interest and knowledge. On the negative side, that project isn't as active as some.--SPhilbrick T 13:07, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Sphilbrick, your response is appreciated. I've made requests at both the talk page of the WikiProject Basketball and the Wiki NBA project. Thanks again. DD2K (talk) 14:29, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

I didn't realize we had an NBA Project, so we both learned something. Good luck with the article.--SPhilbrick T 20:48, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Arthur Fleischmann Wiki page

Done

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Christianfurr/Arthur_Fleischmann

Please can you check this draft then if you deem suitable, publish —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 11:33, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:39, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

How about

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/1731799.stm http://bratislavahotels.travelslovakia.sk/sites/museum-of-arthur-fleischmann-bratislava

http://www.fleischmann.org.uk/

http://www.artandarchitecture.org.uk/stories/fleischmann_fleischmann.html

http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/1870010

? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 11:43, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

You probably have enough there to establish notability. But now I see that the article is copied almost word for word from the biography at http://www.fleischmann.org.uk/frbiog.html. This is a copyright violation and is not allowed on Wikipedia. You need to re-write the biography in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:51, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

OK. Can somebody please do this for me as I simply havent the time. I am sure the Foundation wouldt mind the copy being verbatim as I have credited them at the end of the article (with thanks to.) This is providing info about the artist that is globally useful so I cant see the foundation objecting. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Christianfurr (talk • contribs) 13:18, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, crediting the copyright holder is not sufficient, as Wikipedia has to protect itself against potential legal action. There is a process you can go through to request the copyright holder to release their work under the same license as the rest of Wikipedia - see Wikipedia:Requesting copyright permission - but it is not a simple process, and there is no guarantee that permission will be given. I suggest you blank the draft article page until you can either get the appropriate permission or have time to rewrite the biography in your own words. Gandalf61 (talk) 13:59, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

I have tagged the draft for speedy deletion as a copyvio - this is not permitted even in userspace. – ukexpat (talk) 16:58, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Amalka Supercomputing facility

Done

Hello,

since User:Davidpodhola/Amalka_Supercomputing_facility is 10 years old now and is the biggest supercomputer in the Czech Republic computing also for NASA, I think it should be covered here as well. Please have a look at the article and give me your feedback.

Thanks,

Davidpodhola (talk) 14:31, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article looks fine to me. I think it is ready to be moved into main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:52, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

BringIt.com

Done

BringIt.com

BringIt.com BringIt is a video gaming website that provides “gamers” the opportunity to connect over the internet and play one on one or multi-player tournaments against each other for money. The site was launched in November 2008 by Woodrow Levin.

In addition to the gaming provided, the website allows users to blog, create profiles and write reviews in the forums. BringIt includes the following platforms: XBOX 360, PS2, PS3 and Wii. The main page also provides gamers with a list of the games the website supports.

BringIt’s main page allows auto matches or allows gamers to select an opponent who is looking to play a specific game for the same dollar amount. Players identify each other by their “gaming tag”, an online ID, and utilize their console’s online multiplayer platform or the built in multiplayer function of the game to play each other. When the game is completed, both players report the outcome to the website, or in the alternative result, emails are automatically reported from the game’s End of Game Email Reporting System. Winning players then have their account credited.

Founder/Chief Executive Officer Woodrow H. Levin founded InStadium and Riverbank Capital Management. Woodrow has been featured in Media Life Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and has been a guest speaker at the University Of Wisconsin School Of Business. Woodrow received his B.A. in Business from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and his Juris Doctor from the Chicago-Kent School of Law. Woodrow is active in community and charitable organizations including JUF, Lynn Sage Breast Cancer Foundation and most recently was on the executive committee of The Chicago Green Tie Ball.

How BringIt Works All new gaming consoles and many older consoles are able to connect to the internet for multiplayer online game play. Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo game consoles all have built in software which allows owners to play online against other gamers anywhere in the world. Each game will then be played through the existing technology of the console or game maker.

Our Mission BringIt is an online community where gamers across the globe can play video games for real money. BringIt is a community of American and International gamers with the ability to play against each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week for real money.

Legal Aspects BringIt is not in any violation of any United States or International anti-gambling laws currently in place. The reasoning behind this conclusion is that playing video games online are not games of chance; rather they are games of skill. Games of skill are not in violation of the Internet Gambling Regulation and Enforcement Act of 2006. Users are required to be at least 18 years of age. Certain US State laws prohibit skill based game play and these residents may not compete in BringIt’s skill based video game tournaments.

Games which may be played through BringIt’s website for real money include:

Burnout Paradise Call of Duty 4 Call of Duty World at War COD4 Dead or Alive 4 Fifa 2009 Fight Night Round 3,4 Forza 2 Gears of War 2 Guitar Hero World Tour Halo 4 Halo Wars Madden NFL 2010 Mario Kart MLB: The Show 2009 MLB 2K9 NBA 2K9 NBA Live 2009 NCAA Football 2010 NHL 2009 Rainbow Six Vegas 2 Resistance 2 Rock Band 2 Socom: Confrontation Street Fighter IV Super Smash Bros Brawl The King of Fighters 12 Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2010 UEFA Euro UFC Undisputed 2009 Unreal Tournament 3 XBOX Live Arcade

References:

betfromanywhere.com- http://www.betfromanywhere.com/blog/tag/bringit/ BlogWogo.com- http://www.blogowogo.com/blog_article.php?aid=1815823&t=5 Bungie.org- http://nikon.bungie.org/news.html?item=24563 centredaily.com- http://www.centredaily.com/business/technology/story/977193.html Cnet.com- http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10105324-2.html CosmosGaming.com- http://www.cosmosgaming.com/news.php?id=21113730&tablespec=november2008 CrunchGear.com- http://www.crunchgear.com/2008/11/21/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is/ Edge- http://www.edge-online.com/blogs/bring-it-on ESPN- http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3725594 Fast Company- http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/sherri-l-smith/high-wire/gimmick-or-genius Financialcontent.com- http://studio.financialcontent.com/Engine?Account=wspa&GUID=7237763&Page=Media Forbes.com http://www.forbes.com/businesswire/feeds/businesswire/2008/11/21/businesswire116880802.html Fox Business- http://www.foxbusiness.com/search-results/m/25620399/betting-on-video-games.htm#q=bringit Gabbr.com- http://www.gabbr.com/tracker/bringit GameDaily.com- http://www.gamedaily.com/articles/news/bringit-invites-you-to-earn-money-playing-video-games/?biz=1 GamerBlips.com- http://gamerblips.dailyradar.com/story/bringit_challenge_play_earn GoNintendo.com- http://gonintendo.com/?p=63880 http://games.venturebeat.com/2009/07/03/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouths-are JSOnline.com- http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/entertainment/34894584.html Kiwibox.com- http://www.kiwibox.com/article/38960 Kombo.com- http://ps3.kombo.com/article.php?artid=8863 Kotaku.com- http://kotaku.com/5096015/cocky--cash+rich-bringit-will-allow-it-to-be-brung MacroWorldInvestor.com- http://www.macroworldinvestor.com/m/m.w?lp=GetStory&id=331413641

MarketWatch.com- http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/BringIt-Delivers-Next-Generation-Competitive/story.aspx?guid={654909E4-2A1F-4F45-9D3C-0EA58D95F393} Maxconsole.com- http://www.maxconsole.net/?mode=news&newsid=33978 MTV- http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/2008/12/03/bringit-aims-to-get-wii-players-wagering-on-online-games/ Official XBOX Magazine- http://www.bringit.com/media/static/press/OXM_2009_05.pdf O-Zonegames.com- http://ozonegames.com/blogs/daily_video_game_news/archive/2008/11/20/bringit-invites-you-to-earn-money-playing-video-games.aspx Playboy- http://www.playboy.com/articles/gamer-next-door-bringit/index.html SmartBrief.com- http://www.smartbrief.com/news/aaaa/industryBW-detail.jsp?id=68916F38-3BC3-444B-8C86-7D5F63AEEE12 Teamxbox.com- http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/18227/I-Bet-You-100-You-Cant-Kill-Me-n00b/ TerrificShit.com- http://www.terrificshit.com/2008/11/21/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouth-is/ USAToday.com- http://content.usatoday.com/topics/article/Peter+Moore/05gGgKN9sf72G/1 Venture Beat- http://games.venturebeat.com/2009/07/03/bringit-lets-gamers-put-their-money-where-their-mouths-are/ WorthPlaying.com- http://www.worthplaying.com/article.php?sid=57730 Yahoo.com- http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/081121/20081121005099.html?.v=1 Yahoo.com- http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/play-money-five-ways-to-make-a-living-playing-games/1330627

Vertz22 (talk) 17:41, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

This is far too spammy to form the basis for an article and for the same reason I have tagged the draft your userpage for deletion too. Please take a look at WP:SPAM, WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 19:39, 12 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank You

Joker Blogs

Done

I would like feedback/review of a new article titled: Joker Blogs. Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joker_Blogs or Joker Blogs. I would appreciate someone's help; this is my first Wikipedia article.

Thanks!

Hpsparrow (talk) 00:28, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

I think you need to add more visuals. Maybe a photo table will make it look more official..JardenBooks (talk) 01:04, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for your input. I would like to add, however, that the article seems to have been deleted or has otherwise been move/disappeared. I don't know how to look into that and see what has happened, so could a more experienced Wikipedia user please find out what has happened? If it has been deleted, I would very much like to know the reason why, but if it has been moved...where could it have been moved to? Thank you, Hpsparrow (talk) 21:36, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Joker Blogs was deleted under criterion A7 of the speedily deletion criteria as it was an [a]rticle about a web site, blog, web forum, webcomic, podcast, browser game, or similar web content, which does not indicate the importance or significance of the subject.

Young Legend(King of Mississippi)

Done

Young Legend(King of Mississippi) Web master for Grand Hustle/Steeldreams Ent new artist Young Legend.. Just want some feedback and helpJardenBooks (talk) 00:29, 13 November 2009 (UTC)...

Please note that according to the userpage of the account User:JardenBooks, Jarden Books is a company which is being paid to publicize Yourng Legend and other musicians by creating Wikipedia advertisements about them. The COI is blatant; the role account has been blocked as a spamusername. --Orange Mike | Talk 13:39, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Young Legend is a growing and budding artist. I think this article may be a bit premature, as people outside of the south(i.e. LA-the Carolinas) may not have heard of him. Myself being from Alabama have seen him perform on several occasions. So I can give the thumbs up. This is a great article on him although. Very in depth and the sources seem to be accurate. Marty0615 (talk) 01:01, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Article now at User:Marty0615/Young Legend. It needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 11:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Midas Kapiti

Done

Midas Kapiti A chronology of the leading banking packages, which since 1972 has been the standard software package for nearly all of the world's banks.

David Shaw Midas 13th November, 2009 DavidShawMidas (talk) 14:33, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Some suggestions for improving your draft article at User:DavidShawMidas/Midas Kapiti:

Format - the formatting is very poor. Read our manual of style, and look at how other Wikipedia articles are formatted.
Style - reads like a marketing brochure. You need to remove marketing hype such as "the world's most successful banking system", "more world-wide customers, more awards, and more capability than any other" and "the world leader in banking packages". Remember that you are writing an encylopedia article, not a sales brochure.
Content - very dull. You give a detailed history of the sofwtare package up to 1994, then nothing for the last 15 years. The reader is left with little or no idea of what the software does.
Sources - you need to provide sources for the dates and events that you give in the artcie, and references to third-party sources to show that this software package is notable.
Conflict of interest - if you are the "David Shaw" referenced in the article, then you may have a conflict of interest which means you are not a suitable author for this article. Read our conflict of interest guideline. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:26, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Quick question on new articles...

Done

I have four articles that I would like posted to Wiki. Are there folks or services that will write my content so that it is accepted to Wiki? For hire?

My conundrum is:

The founder of our company is also the chief scientist of a revolutionary NEW lighting technology -- plain and simple... it IS revolutionary...

I want to add the founder's bio and how it relates to the technology, the first product, the founding company and the "promotional sales/marketing" company...

How do I do that without getting canned for advertising/promotion? I've had two marketing firms read my articles and they say they are "NOT" promotional, but have gotten slammed on WIKI for uploading them.

Do you know of any folks that re-write for hire?

Please respond.

Jereodom (talk) 17:26, 13 November 2009 (UTC)Jere 11/13/2009 11:20 AM CST

Writing an article to promote the interests of your employer is a breach of our conflict of interest guidelines. If you hire someone to write such an article, then they in turn would be in breach of the conflict of interest gudelines. The best approach is to request an independent Wikipedia editor to write an article - see Wikipedia:Requested articles for how to do this. If there is insufficient information in the public domain for an independent editor to write an article, then the subject is almost certainly not suitable for Wikipedia. Gandalf61 (talk) 17:37, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Gandalf61 - Thank you for your response. I have posted in two categories on the Request Article pages. I hope to receive some feedback, and I sure hope I posted it correctly. Wiki can be very confusing for someone who uses it as a resource but doesn't get to contribute very often. I appreciate your taking the time to respond. Wish me luck! Btw, the guy I refer to is a fairly young entrepreneur with a genius brain, so information on him will not be easy to find. I provided a couple of links to websites that give his brief bio and hopefully that will help an editor get started. Thanks again! Jereodom (talk) 18:21, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

If "information on him will not be easy to find" then he is unlikely to be notable as that term is defined for Wikipedia purposes, see WP:BIO and WP:RS. Online bios etc are not sufficient, we need "significant coverage in reliable sources". – ukexpat (talk) 18:38, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the input, Ukexpat. Let me clarify... he CAN be found on the Internet, news publications, local organization publications (as a Innovator of the Year Award nominee) with very little net searching, but I did include two links to websites that provide a brief bio and links to other news articles, that may help someone who would like to help write the articles. Make sense? Jereodom (talk) 19:20, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia

Done

Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia William Groves Carson (talk) 18:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)William Groves Carson November 13, 2009William Groves Carson (talk) 18:51, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

There doesn't seem to be an article by that name. What is your question? --Orange Mike | Talk 19:07, 13 November 2009 (UTC)\

Article draft at User:William Groves Carson/Hebron Presbyterian Church, Banks County, Georgia. – ukexpat (talk) 19:15, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment it does not read like an encyclopedic article, but more like a travel journal or flowery magazine article. So the tone will need some work. Please also see WP:FOOTNOTES and WP:CITE for reference citing. – ukexpat (talk) 19:20, 13 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Havis1/International Montessori Society

Done

User:Havis1/International Montessori Society

I appreciate comments on this page before entering on its own.Havis1 (talk) 01:00, 14 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article looks fine, and I think it is ready to be moved to main article space. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:50, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Climate Change In Alberta

Done

Hello,

I am in need of some feedback or comments about an article I have currently posted. Climate Change In Alberta All comments are appreciated. Thanks Farmgirl29 (talk) 18:26, 14 November 2009 (UTC)

Sorry in advance for being negative, but I don't see much that can be salvaged.

Most importantly, there are existing major articles on climate change and global warming. While there may be value in discussing the special impact on a region, a Canadian province is quite a small region, so it would take a rather strong claim to justify an article on the province.

The article as written has one paragraph purportedly on the subject, while the remainder of the article is a laundry list of activities that are not specific to Alberta, and aren't even specific to climate change. It is more like a list of good agricultural stewardship practices than climate change issues.

Finally, the one paragraph addressing the title has problems. Climate is long-term, while weather is short-term. The precise dividing line can be argued, but if the temperatures and precipitation patterns are truly a manifestation of climate change rather than weather, you'll need solid support for the claim. Look at your second reference: it states "Recurring droughts are a part of Alberta’s climate". In other words, your reliable sources are at variance with the point of the article. Some other references, such as your third and fourth references, are merely anecdotal support for drought, rather than long-term climate change. I don't doubt for a second that there has been climate change, but I've checked over half your references and haven't found one that supports the claim.

If you are intent on writing about climate change in Alberta, I suggest that you join in the discussion of the talk pages of Regional effects of global warming to get consensus on how to (or whether to) add material specifically relating to Alberta.--SPhilbrick T 02:10, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

What is Competency-Based Education?

Done

There is no part of this article that was copied from another published article: we wrote this article as a Word document and copied it into Wikipedia and I then posted it so I'd like to know how to have that notice of possible copyright violation notation removed and also how to delete the warning that it was edited by someone else because I edited it. Please advise how these 2 things can be done becaue I've read every single one of the above bullets but am still having trouble. Thank you.

The message about copyright has been removed. The other issues noted do remain. For example, Wikipedia has a variety of acceptable reference styles, but the one you chose is not one of them. Please see Cite for assistance, although it would be better to address the tone and style issues first. Please see LAYOUT for some guidance. Fixing references is easy, making the style consistent with an encyclopedia article is a bit more work.--SPhilbrick T 02:20, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Please read your first heading and opening two sentences, and compare to the second paragraph of this paper

Competency-based education

What is Competency Based Education?

The major premise of competency based education (CBE) is that diplomas and credentials should be awarded on the basis of demonstrated performance on competency and on results, rather than on accumulated or completed credits. In fact, CBE is often tied directly to the occupational requirements of working professionals. CBE presents adult learners with opportunities to solve the real-world problems of managers, teachers, computer programmers, nurses, engineers and others.

Comparing Institutional Approaches to Competency-Based Distance Education

What is competency-based education? Its major premise is that diplomas and credentials should be awarded on the basis of demonstrated student performance – on outcomes and results – rather than on the accumulation of credits, the number of successful semesters completed (seat-time), and adherence to campus residency requirements. CBE is often tied directly to the occupational requirements of working professionals, requiring degree candidates to solve real-world problems of nurses, teachers, computer scientists, and business managers.

Can you explain?--SPhilbrick T 02:37, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

mako yoshikawa

Done

Greetings,

This is my first page and I'm somewhat intimidated by all of the formatting elements. Here is the article in my userspace, not yet posted because I couldn't figure out how to list it in the noncontested area.

robsabal/Mako Yoshikawa or maybe it is just Mako Yoshikawa

I could add additional links or at least the citations for newspaper reviews. I could also add the citations for her scholarly publications but it doesn't seem like other authors tend to do this.

Thank you for your help.

Robsabal (talk) 04:09, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

It's here: User:Robsabal/Mako Yoshikawa--SPhilbrick T 15:56, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Good start. I cleaned up some of your references.

It looks like she should pass the Notability hurdle, but you haven't included any citations for Reliable Sources. I think her book(s) have been reviewed by the Washington Post and other places - can you include those?

Also, there is a reference to "published scholarly essays on incest in American literature". Citing the publication and date would be very helpful.--SPhilbrick T 16:16, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

The "move" button will appear after you do 4 more edits. If you add a couple reliable sources, and still haven't reached ten edits, let me know and I'll move it for you, otherwise, you can move it yourself.--SPhilbrick T 17:51, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank you again for your help. I've added the Washington Post citation and the list of articles on race and incest. I wonder if you can move this page for me as I still don't see a move tab. I look forward to making additional contributions.

Robsabal (talk) 05:37, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

I moved it for you. Now at Mako Yoshikawa. Note that it takes a few hours for it to become indexed, so it won’t show up in a search right away.SPhilbrick T 16:45, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Wendell Brown

Done

This article (on Wendell Brown) is my first for Wikipedia, and I have enjoyed the journey. Thanks for all the great support and guidelines! How do I get someone to review so I can further improve the article and remove the "unreviewed" banner? Also, what do I need to do to make sure, when "Wendell Brown" is googled, that this article comes up? Thanks! Carterkirk (talk) 04:36, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

I have removed the unreviewed tag. Wikipedia has no control over Google page rankings. The article needs to provide sources for its biographic facts, and also references to third-party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:46, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

My usual comment when Google page rankings come up: we are here to create an encyclopedia, not engage in a Google page rankings contest. – ukexpat (talk) 17:10, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Southern 80

Done

Hi,

This is my first article User:Dtbell91/Southern 80. I hope it meets Wikipedia's high standards. I created the article because I decided I'd like to give back to the community which has helped me so much in times of difficulty ;) Thanks, dtbell91

Dtbell91 (talk) 10:36, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Your draft article is a good start, but it needs to include references to third party sources to show that its subject is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 12:37, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Theodelinda

Done

The picture of the crown in the Theodelinda article is an object in the museum of the Monza duomo, but is not the crown, as the article states it to be. The crown is gold and green, with alternating jewels and rosettes in each row. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Loggoin (talk • contribs) 18:02, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

I suggest you post your comment to the talk page of the article, and to the Talk page of the editor who added the image.--SPhilbrick T 19:21, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Mark Rathbone

Done

I have drafted a brief bio of the actor Mark Rathbone an actor in the film Naked in London, in anticipation of the release of the film in Spring 2010 - I hope to post bios of the rest of the cast and crew once I get the hang of Wiki posting!

M —Preceding unsigned comment added by Marksailferret (talk • contribs) 22:50, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Draft is currently in userspace at User:Marksailferret/Mark Rathbone. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

If these people have nothing more notable about them than Rathbone has, articles about them are likely to be deleted pretty rapidly. Please read our guidelines on what constitutes a "notable" actor, etc. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:31, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Stacyv.v/Franklin P. Jones

Done

Dear Editors,

I am trying to create a page about my notable writer Grandfather Franklin P. Jones Franklin P. Jones, User:Stacyv.v/Franklin P. Jones. However, even after reading help pages, I'm a bit flummoxed.

The information about my Grandfather in the world at-large is flawed and confused. His work is being attributed to other people and / or his birth and death dates are often printed incorrectly. Answers.com called out for more information from anyone in-the-know and I've created an Answer there. Is that considered a verifiable source? There is hardcopy information on the east coast (I am west) at my disposal, but not anytime soon.

His work (specifically quotations / quips) is not copyrighted (yet). But will I have to go through extra steps for each and every one to prove it is my right to site them?

I apologize for editing the things I did incorrectly (superscripts). But it seems close to impossible to edit 10 times without stepping on either the author or Wikipedia's toes. Once it is presentable, can you move the article live for me?

I am also not clear on where to put verifying sources. Is that what the Reference section is for?

I'm sorry for all of the question marks, but I am on a mission to clear my Grandfather's name, and do it well, once and for all. I would greatly appreciate any assistance you can offer.

Thanks so much, Stacyv.v (talk) 01:01, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Being on a mission to clear my Grandfather's name puts you in a huge conflict of interest and will make it very difficult for you to write an article which meets our neutrality requirements. At the moment the draft is not ready to be moved to the mainspace as it has no references. References do not necessarily have to be online, but they must be clear enough to be verifiable. Note that because of your COI, the article will receive in depth scrutiny, so your references will have to be pretty good. – ukexpat (talk) 17:26, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Curtis Grubb

Done

Please review my article on Curtis Grubb. He was my ancestor and an important figure in Pennsylvania history. Please don't delete it, it's my first and was a lot of work! LynnSGrubb (talk) 15:56, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Draft is at User:LynnSGrubb/Curtis Grubb. – ukexpat (talk) 17:19, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Interesting article. A few points of style:

In the first paragraph, try to be a little less self-referential. "It is difficult to discuss the brothers individually..." draws attention to the author, which IMO detracts from encyclopedic style. Just say that Curtis' affairs were closely entangled with Peter, Jr.'s and leave it at that.
In "Personal Life," "Fortunately, Curtis Jr.,...died..." should probably be qualified as "Fortunately for historians" or "Fortunately for genealogists"; it's a little jarring.

That said, I think it's basically OK to move to article space. I'd be interested in seeing more articles on the Grubb ironmasters of the Susquehanna region; I have a picture of some abandoned abutments of their iron railroad at Shenk's Ferry, and I could probably get pictures of Chickies #2 and maybe even St Charles Furnace at some point. Choess (talk) 05:57, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your review of my Curtis Grubb article; I have made the changes suggested and will move it to article space (if I can figure out how!). I don't know anything about the Susquehanna Grubbs, but I have asked our "Grubb expert" for input. Would I continue to contact you here? LynnSGrubb (talk) 02:00, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

Sky Songs

Done

Hi, It's my first time writing an article in Wikipedia and I would welcome feedback on it before I try and push live in a few days.

Article is Sky Songs and because I am personally and profesionally interested in this new website and know quite a bit about it I was keen to use this subject as my first article.

I think I have used the correct tone and references and appreciate any feedback before I go ahead and try my hand at other subjects.

Adamhodge2 (talk) 16:41, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Draft is at User:Adamhodge2/sky songs. – ukexpat (talk) 17:16, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Given your obvious severe conflict of interest here, I would advise you not to work on this any more. --Orange Mike | Talk 19:36, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Transpo Industries, Inc

Done

Hi, I've started writing an article about a company, and want to make sure I'm on the right path, and won't be deleted. I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks.

User:Hleetranspo/Transpo Industries, Inc.

Hleetranspo (talk) 18:05, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment the article does not address, with references, why this company is notable per WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 18:09, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

In addition, if you are H. Lee of Transpo Industries, you should also read WP:COISPhilbrick T 18:35, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

User:AngelSG/Pretty Little Flower

Done

I have created the page User:AngelSG/Pretty Little Flower regarding a local grind core band. Please review, as I understand that is necessary before the page can be officially available. I have put in references and followed all help guidance available. AngelSG (talk) 21:22, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

It's not clear from the draft whether the band meets the notability tests set out at WP:BAND. If you think it does, please edit the article accordingly, with inline references. – ukexpat (talk) 17:28, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

I've added the inline references. I do think it meets the notability tests. I changed the references I originally had only at the bottom to be inline references. AngelSG (talk) 06:30, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

article name Morgan Mandel

Done

I'm looking for approval or advice on improving an article about mystery writer Morgan Mandel.

Morgan Mandel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morgan_Mandel

Hope I'm doing this right.

Thanks,

Organmountains (talk) 05:06, 17 November 2009 (UTC)Bob Sanchez 11/16/09

I don't think the article is ready for the mainspace yet so I have moved it to your userspace at User:Organmountains/Morgan Mandel so you can continue to work on it. The main problems are notability and sources. The draft does not explain why the subject is notable per WP:BIO, nor does it have reliable sources per WP:RS - you cannot use other Wikipedia articles as references, and self-published sources such as personal websites and blogs are not reliable. So please read the above links, and also WP:YFA, WP:CITE and other Wikipedia articles about writers so you can see what we need. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 17:49, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Global Intelligence Alliance

Done

~~Hi - This is my first Wiki article. I would appreciate any comments or feedback particularly on any area that I can improve on. The article is titled Global Intelligence Alliance~~

~~Thanks! (RW15 (talk) 06:16, 17 November 2009 (UTC))~~

Reposting - Global Intelligence Alliance

Done

Hi - Please ignore my question above. This is the correct draft of my first Wiki article User:RW15/Global Intelligence Alliance. Any feedback or comments are welcomed especially on areas where I can improve on.

Thanks! (RW15 (talk) 06:41, 17 November 2009 (UTC))

At the moment the article reads, IMHO, like a promotional piece and does not address why the subject is notable per the guidance at WP:CORP. So the tone will need to be revised and you will need some more reliable sources to support claims of notability - note that company press releases on sites like PRWeb are self-published sources and not reliable as we use that term on Wikipedia. – ukexpat (talk) 17:55, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Ordination of women in the United Methodist Church in the 19th century

Done

Ordination of women in the United Methodist Church in the 19th century

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Earthmamaursa/Ordination_of_United_Methodist_Women

(Earthmamaursa (talk) 07:44, 17 November 2009 (UTC))

Before I look at this in depth, I am intrigued by the comment From: Donna Sperry's archives, DS360, Nov. 09. Has the text been copied from another source? If so you will have to follow Wikipedia procedures to provide evidence that you have permission to re-use the text. – ukexpat (talk) 18:01, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

Websystems page

Done

Hello, I want to make sure this page is ready to be offically puslished. Can you tell me if it's ok?

Websystems User:Catalepsky/Websystems

Thank you!

Catalepsky (talk) 17:36, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

The draft does not explain adequately why the subject is notable per WP:CORP, nor does it cite reliable sources per WP:RS. Self-published sources such as the company's website are not reliable. It's also rather spammy in tone. So please read the above links, and also WP:YFA. – ukexpat (talk) 18:07, 17 November 2009 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HCL_Career_Development_Centre_(HCL_CDC)

Done

HCL Career Development Centre

Request you to kindly review the article.

Sanjaytiwary (talk) 14:20, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

The article currently reads like an advertisement, not like an encyclopedia article; indeed, most of it seems to be copied from the HCL CDC web site, which is probably a copyright violation. You need to rewrite the article in your own words, removing phrases like "legacy of excellence", "deep expertise" and "fastest growing". In addition, the article needs to provide references to third party sources to show that this company is notable. Gandalf61 (talk) 15:08, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

The article has been speedily deleted as too promotional. Please read WP:YFA, WP:SPAM and WP:CORP. – ukexpat (talk) 15:36, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

Melontown Gets a New Mayor

Done

Melontown Gets a New Mayor

—Preceding unsigned comment added by Bbgun777 (talk • contribs) 17:52, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

The article is here User:Bbgun777/Melontown Gets a New Mayor

I looked quickly, but I see no evidence of Notability.--SPhilbrick T 20:48, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

I know that citing booksellers (such as Amazon) is discouraged, although I am struggling unsuccessfully to find the policy. The external references aren't acceptable either, which, unfortunately, leave you with zero references.--SPhilbrick T 20:59, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

Lung Flute

Done

I just ran across an article about this thing, and thought it would make a good first new article for me. I realize that it's just a stub at the moment, but wanted to see if I was on the right track.

Here's the article: User:Mark_Shaw/Lung_Flute

Thanks for any feedback! Mark Shaw (talk) 22:11, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

I think it works as a stub. Do you need help moving it to Lung flute? I have "coloned" out the categories while it is still in userspace so that it does not show up in the category listings. – ukexpat (talk) 20:25, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I think I just create a new article of that name by clicking on the redlink, then copy-and-pasting my article text into the new one, right? Is there anything else I need to do? Mark Shaw (talk) 20:32, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

Well, strictly speaking as the draft has been edited by more than one person (you and I), it should be moved rather than copy/pasted. – ukexpat (talk) 00:23, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Okay, done. How does it look? Did I forget anything? Mark Shaw (talk) 01:22, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Looks good, except we use sentence case for titles so I moved it to Lung flute. – ukexpat (talk) 02:10, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Gotcha. Thanks very much for your help! Mark Shaw (talk) 02:13, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Value-Added Wood Products in Ontario

Done

I have written an article on Value-Added Wood Products in Ontario as a class assignment. I require comments on how to improve my article in order to finish my report for the class. Thank you very much.

MajorZombie (talk) 22:55, 18 November 2009 (UTC)

Just a general comment to start with, you, your classmates and teacher/instructor should take a look at our advice for school and university projects. – ukexpat (talk) 19:54, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

Additional sections would help clean up this article. For example, company information should be removed from the Sustainability section and the reference to small town job dependancies should be removed from the Value Added Products section. Rsnooks (talk) 02:59, 24 November 2009 (UTC)

Psychotropica (film)

Done

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychotropica_%28film%29

My name is Robert Drake and I am a big supporter of independent film, so I decided to make my first article about an interesting little movie I bought online, Psychotropica. I was wondering if anyone would care to review this article I wrote for me to see if it meets up to general standards. It would be most appreciated.

Kind Regards. --Drakester6969 (talk) 04:41, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I moved it to Psychotropica as there was no need for the disambiguating parentheses. I also took a stab at cleaning it up a little but there is more to do - for example, there are too many red links. The cast list can probably be de-linked - if any of them have Wikipedia articles some time in the future they can be relinked. You should probably post a message on the talk page of the Films Project, they are experts with film-related articles and can probably offer further assistance. – ukexpat (talk) 21:13, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kludgeteer/Kludgets

Done

This is an article on Kludgets, an open sourced widget engine that allows Mac OS X Dashboard widgets to run on Windows and Linux. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Kludgeteer (talk • contribs) 05:07, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject, we need significant coverage. At the moment, only PC Mag qualifies as reliable, but the coverage is not significant. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 19:59, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

3CXPhone

Done

Please review this article on 3CXPhone - a VoIP SIP phone: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Voipguy/3CXPhone Voipguy (talk) 08:14, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject, we need significant coverage. Republication of company press releases and directory type product listings don't count as significant coverage. – ukexpat (talk) 20:06, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated. The blog post of TMCNET editor is significant coverage - as it is a well known VoIP blogger. In addition the article is mainly meant to allow the software to be listed on voip software page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_VoIP_software). This lists many SIP phones which are far less notable and many of which are no longer in development or available. However I am assuming the page will be deleted if i do not find additional significant coverage? Voipguy (talk) 09:43, 23 November 2009 (UTC)

e-psychology

Done

The article can be found at e-psychology.

I would really appreciate any comments and help with cleanup.

Thanks,

DigiHealth (talk) 11:38, 19 November 2009 (UTC) DigiHealth 12:37, 19 November 2009.

Just a personal opinion, but I really don't like the APA style of inline citations in works intended for public consumption. I think the inline footnotes format is much more readable to non-academic audiences. Dcs002 (talk) 12:15, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Odryfuss/English translations of Hesse's Siddhartha

Done

Requesting feedback on a page I just made: User:Odryfuss/English translations of Hesse's Siddhartha. The point of the page is to present the five existing translations of the novel side by side so that people interested in reading it can decide which one they like best and want to buy. if this page is approved, I plan to link it to the Wiki page on the novel Siddhartha, which has a brief section listing the English translations.

Thanks for your suggestions! Odryfuss (talk) 12:42, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment this is not an encyclopedic article. Even if it could be rewritten in such a way that it critically compared various translations, it would fall foul of our prohibition against original research unless references to reliable sources that discuss issues relating to the various translations could be cited. – ukexpat (talk) 20:19, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

There are also concerns with possible copyright violations, if the quotations are too extensive. --Orange Mike | Talk 18:19, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

The Cameron Knowles Show

Done

The Cameron Knowles Show

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Knowlamp/The_Cameron_Knowles_Show

Knowlamp (talk) 19:05, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record with my comments here, but there are issues with notability. I looked at all the external links and none seemed to provide any kind of significant coverage of the kind we need to support notability, and in fact none would really work as external links per the guidance at WP:EL. If you can find reliable sources that discuss the show and its contribution to broadcasting, it might have a chance, but at the moment I am afraid that it's not ready to move to the mainspace. Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 20:52, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. I've added some more references. Could you or anyone offer more opinions? Thank you!Knowlamp (talk) 19:03, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

Carbon360

Done

Carbon360 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Danielag2009/Carbon360 --Danielag2009 (talk) 19:32, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I am hoping to receive some feedback for my first Wikipedia article, it is a company based in NY that has a unique history and I was hoping to start an article about it so more people can expand on it.

Thank You for you help! —Preceding unsigned comment added by Danielag2009 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

At the moment, I think you have problems with notability. You will need some reliable sources that make more than passing reference to the subject or do more than repeat company press releases, we need significant coverage. – ukexpat (talk) 20:12, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

Johno Fisher

Done

Hey guys i just put up a page on Johno Fisher, one of my favorite drummers. It still has not been a reviewed apparently. i was wondering if you could help? Thanks Guys

Jason Newton —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nubzy89 (talk • contribs) 21:39, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I have reviewed and made some layout and formatting changes. I also removed some references that were not really references, so the article needs more reliable sources to support claims of notability. – ukexpat (talk) 00:55, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Ok thankyou very much. I have sources of an e-mail interview and i gained alot of information from past interviews from here and there. How should i got about this? thanks again

Jason —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nubzy89 (talk • contribs) 01:49, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Personal e-mails are not reliable sources, but interviews published in third party reliable sources are. If you have links to interviews in online sources (or offline, hard copy sources) you can cite them to support statements in the article. Let me know if you need further help. – ukexpat (talk) 02:39, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Selfridge–Conway discrete procedure

Done

Selfridge–Conway discrete procedure

This article expands a section of envy-free division.

It is about how to cut a cake between three people so that nobody envies nobody.

Please enrich me with your feedback.

viebel (talk) 21:47, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I'm struggling with this article, and have to try to keep separate my comments on it as an article from the actual contents.

First, re contents. The moving knife algorithm is far superior in efficiency, and generalizes for n players, so it isn't clear why we care about Selfridge–Conway. However, this speaks to Notability. Is it historically notable because it preceded moving knife solutions? Or is it notable because moving knife solutions are considered a special class of solutions? Without some response along this line, it is difficult to understand why we care about an inefficient procedure with limited application.

In addition, the Selfridge–Conway algorithm is fully described in the long-standing article Envy-free. If you think your description is better than that one, I see the choices as:

Edit Envy-free to make it better
Discuss at the talk page of Envy-free why the algorithm should be split out into a separate article. However, given the extremely short existing length, I can't imagine why that would happen.

Sorry about the less than positive reaction to your efforts. You obviously have some skill, and I hope you will stay to edit other articles of interest to you, but I don't yet see how your draft article makes sense in light of the existing coverage.--SPhilbrick T 14:43, 22 November 2009 (UTC)

The Kidnapping of Michaela Garecht

Done

The Kidnapping of Michaela Garecht —Preceding unsigned comment added by 92.0.42.187 (talk) 23:31, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

I am afraid that I have nominated the article for deletion for the reasons stated at the Afd discussion. – ukexpat (talk) 00:42, 20 November 2009 (UTC)

Social Security Statement

Social Security Statement Jamesalunsford (talk) 00:08, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

Draft article is at: User:Jamesalunsford/Social Security Statement. – ukexpat (talk) 00:36, 25 November 2009 (UTC)

User:Nhollis1113/Natural Vibrations

I am new to Wikipedia and was hoping for feedback on my first article, User:Nhollis1113/Natural Vibrations. Nhollis1113 (talk) 05:20, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

Hi! Nice article! You can add categories (WP:CAT) like Category:Reggae musical groups and Category:Musical groups from Hawaii. It needs a bigger lead with highlights about the band. Go to those categories I just mention and check out their lead sections. You need to add the external links. (WP:EL#How to link)

I'm in favor of you moving this to the article section. Other people can then work on it and add to it. Richard-of-Earth (talk) 10:09, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

As a quick side note, you want to be careful about notability. A lot of articles about bands are submitted, and most don't meet the notability requirements. Check out WP:BAND and make sure that your article does. Annalise (talk) 14:59, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

new idea

my name is blair mastin i am 10 years old. i have an amazing idea i think it would be awesome if the werthers origanl company made a werthers sucker because werthers are so delious by them selves if you made a sucker it would last longer and add more of your out bursting flaver into somthing new!

e-mail: <redacted> thank you, blair mastin —Preceding unsigned comment added by 24.94.43.20 (talk) 16:27, 6 December 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your comment, but this is a place to ask for advice about how to improve articles in Wikipedia. You will want to contact Werther's Original about your idea; you can find out how to reach them at the article (click on the blue link).--SPhilbrick T 17:01, 6 December 2009 (UTC)