Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Eileen Collins
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Article promoted by Ian Rose (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 11:20, 20 November 2022 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list
Eileen Collins[edit]
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Although I already have two articles up for A class review, as a military person I thought it best to bring it here before sending to FAC. It is part of a series on women astronauts. It is part of a series about women astronauts. Collins was first woman to pilot the Space Shuttle and the first to command a Space Shuttle mission. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:35, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
Support from CPA[edit]
Just a comment here.
- Per MOS:DATETIES "articles on the modern US military, including biographical articles related to the modern US military, should use day-before-month, in accordance with US military usage." so this article should use DD/MM/YYYY. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 13:12, 14 October 2022 (UTC)
Great I'll take a look into when Hog's comments are adressed. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 18:13, 18 October 2022 (UTC)
- "the 82nd Airborne Division from Pope Air Force Base in North Carolina to Grenada" Link Grenada.
- We don't link the names of present-day countries. (MOS:OVERLINK) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:54, 26 October 2022 (UTC)
- "In 1989, Collins became the second woman pilot to attend the USAF Test Pilot School" Rephrase it something like "In that same year Collins became the second woman pilot to attend the USAF Test Pilot School"?
- It looks like the lead doesn't have the Later life and the Awards and honors sections?
Going down to the body. Sorry that it took that long I was a bit busy for school. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:42, 26 October 2022 (UTC)
- "Her parents were James Edward and Rose Marie Collins" Was James also a Collins? If so what is the néé of Rose?
- "St. Patrick's School in Elmira up to the eighth grade" Eighth grade is pretty vague for most non-Americans.
- "and to European destinations in support of the annual Reforger exercises" European destinations like?
- "than the ten year maximum allowed before" --> "than the ten-year maximum allowed before"?
- "an approach to no less than 10 meters of Mir" How many feet is this?
- "one hundred hours of Russian language classroom training" Unlink the Russian language.
- "docked with Mir without incident on May 16" Wrong date here.
- "Atlantis returned to KSC on May 24" Same as above.
- "Roosevelt Room of the White House on 5 March 1998" Unlink White House here.
- "Columbia lifted off at last on July 23" Wrong date.
- "pushed the launch date back to July 13" Same as above.
That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:07, 27 October 2022 (UTC)
HF - support[edit]
Will review. Ping me if I haven't gotten to this by Wednesday. Hog Farm Talk 23:43, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
- "who had to run 12 furlongs (2.4 km) in less than 12 minutes." - is it worth giving the conversion in miles, as well? I can't think of the last time I saw furlongs used as a measurement before this
- " She was then she stayed on at Vance as a T-38 Talon instructor pilot" - something has gone wrong here
- "transport aircraft that had been her 21st choice" - they had her rank her choices that far out?
- "than the ten year maximum for entered the USAF Test Pilot School" - something has gone wrong here as well
- her" "Pilot! Yes, pilot. You will be the first woman to pilot the Space Shuttle!" - you've got an extra quotation mark in there
- I think something should be stated to indicate how she got from an ASP to actually piloting the craft
- "Eventually all its contents leaked into space it was safe to approach Mir" - missing a word?
- Did she have any particular roles between the end of STS-114 and her NASA retirement?
- "Britannica page". Archived from the original on 14 May 2013. Retrieved 17 January 2007." - wrong reference title
I think that's it from me. Hog Farm Talk 02:36, 19 October 2022 (UTC)
Zawed - Support[edit]
This is in excellent order, minor nitpicks only:
Early life
- but her father was adamantly opposed.: Any indication why? Was it because she was female or was he anti-the USAF or a role in the military?
- Source doesn't say. "I told him I wanted to join the Air Force. He was livid. The vehemence of his reaction surprised me. 'You are not joining the Air Force!' He objected so emphatically that I dared not argue with him." (p. 19) Probably just wanted her to go to college.
- on the history of USAF: "the USAF"?
Astronaut career
- 30 June 1989, deadline: a surplus comma there.
Awards and honors
- The lead says Collins was awarded the Harmon Trophy for being the first female pilot of the Space Shuttle but in this section, it is just listed without mention of why it was awarded.
- Dupe links: Syracuse University, Webster University (in Later life, Awards and honors sections respectively)
That's all I can pick up at this stage. Zawed (talk) 10:20, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
Image review - pass[edit]
Reviewing in response to a request from Hawkeye.
- Both source links for File:Commander Eileen Collins - GPN-2000-001177.jpg are dead
- Ditto all the source links for the four patches in the infobox
- File:Discoverycrew1.jpg needs a URL or other more specific source details - it's sourced to just nasa.gov at present Nick-D (talk) 05:49, 19 November 2022 (UTC)
Source check[edit]
- Move the bibliography after the notes section
- WP:LAYOUT has the lists of works before the Notes and References. (MOS:BIB) Changed to "Publications" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:21, 20 November 2022 (UTC)
- That's better.
- Do you mean for the references section to be the further references section, since neither book seems to be used?
- Both are used; the former by fn 82, 83, 88, 89, 90 and 91; the latter by fn 35
- OK, I missed those.
- Cites and books properly formatted.
- All sources are RS.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:41, 19 November 2022 (UTC)
- Support--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:38, 20 November 2022 (UTC)