Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Loev (film)/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Sarastro1 via FACBot (talk) 11:27, 23 February 2018 [1].

Loev (film)[edit]

Nominator(s): VedantTalk 17:37, 21 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about an Indian film that was released on Netflix. The article has been reworded significantly since its last FAC attempt, and I've addressed all the comments from the previous FAC since. It also underwent a recent copy-edit by a member of the GOCE. Looking forward to the review. VedantTalk 17:37, 21 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Yashthepunisher[edit]

  • You can merge the second and third sentences from the lead as "it stars Dhruv Ganesh and Shiv Pandit as two friends who set off to the Western Ghats for a weekend trip and their complex emotional and sexual relationship."
  • "It was Ganesh's final film role; he died prior to the production's release, after suffering from tuberculosis." This sentence can be rephrased as, 'It was Ganesh's final film role who died prior to the production's release, after suffering from tuberculosis.'
  • "Saria conceived Loev's script while he was working on another project." Some detail about his 'another project'.
  • Why the budget in the infobox is written in USD? It's an Indian film after-all.
The only reliable source about the budget is available in USD; conversion would be a little tricky.
I don't think converting 1 million USD in INR is tricky. Yashthepunisher (talk) 15:16, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I mean the source says that the film was made on a budget of less than 1 million US Dollars, and that too back in 2011-12. With the ever changing exchange rates, and the approximation of the costs it would be too streched to be accurate. Let me know how you feel though. VedantTalk 15:33, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, then let it be.
  • "It was eventually picked up for production." By whom?
  • "Principal photography took place at Mahabaleshwar, the UNESCO World Heritage Site in the Western Ghats in peninsular India". Is the UNESCO bit necessary here?
  • Can you mention the budget of the film in the lead?
  • GQ should be linked to GQ.
  • There are some dubious sources like "Birth Movies Death" and "One Room With A View".
Well Birth Movies Death is a verified RT source and used in a lot of their overall ratings; looking for an explanation/replacement for the other.
Any progress here? Yashthepunisher (talk) 15:16, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've removed the second review Yash. VedantTalk 15:30, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That's it for now. I'll post more comments if I find any other issues with the article. Yashthepunisher (talk) 17:43, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done/Left Comments. Thank you for the comments Yash. Looking forward to the rest. VedantTalk 05:16, 23 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support this nomination. Great work on the article, good luck! Yashthepunisher (talk) 15:36, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you Yash. I appreciate your help. VedantTalk 15:48, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Aoba47[edit]

  • Would it be better to rephrase this (the complex emotional and sexual relationship between the two) to this (their complex emotional and sexual relationship) to be more concise?
  • Would it be better to rephrase this (who died prior to the production's release, after suffering from tuberculosis) to this (who died from tuberculosis prior to the production’s release) to be more concise?
  • For this part (while he was working on another project, I Am Here), I would add the year in which I Am Here was released and clarify what exactly I Am Here is as the word “project” is rather vague.
  • For this part (over the course of sixteen days by the cinematographer), I think that the word “sixteen” should be represented in numerals according to Wikipedia policy.
  • For the Shiv Pandit image, I would include the year in which the image was taken by placing (pictured in X) after his name.

Once my comments are addressed, I will support this for promotion. A majority of my comments were already addressed in the previous FAC. Aoba47 (talk) 17:48, 23 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done. All your comments have been addressed Aoba47. Let me know if there is anything else. VedantTalk 11:04, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I support this for promotion. Good luck with it this time around. Aoba47 (talk) 15:32, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you Aoba47, I appreciate the help. VedantTalk 15:35, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Kailash29792[edit]

Done Kailash; let me know if that's what you were looking for. VedantTalk 19:58, 26 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Sources review[edit]

  • Ref 1: Neither the main nor the archive link to this video is working. The message I get is "Sorry, the Wayback Machine does not have this video (oz7DImobtJ8) archived/indexed."
Well the video isn't really of any importance. The source material is actually the film's description and the director biography in the description.
  • Ref 18: The publisher is given as "Vagabomb", but the wikilink on this name goes to Vagabond, which is a Swedish travel magazine. What's the connection?
  • A general point: there seems to be some inconsistency in your use of the "work=" and "publisher=" fields. For example, in ref 6 you give the publisher, Screen International, rather than the website, Screendaily.com, but in several instances, e.g. 25 (IndieWire), 26 and 36 (Deadline.com), you give the website without naming the publisher. Is there some principle that I'm missing?

Otherwise, sources look to be in good order and are of the appropriate quality and reliability. Brianboulton (talk) 11:04, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed the rest, thanks for going through the sources Brianboulton. I appreciate it. VedantTalk 12:02, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Can you specify what you've actually fixed? For example, the non-working link is still there. Brianboulton (talk) 12:25, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Brianboulton As I said, the reference with the non working video works because the description provided on the page is where is the information is borrowed from and not from the video itself. VedantTalk 16:03, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from FrB.TG[edit]

  • Maybe add in the beginning that Loev is pronounced love.
  • "Produced by Saria and the Bombay Berlin Film Productions, the production" - too many "produc.." in one sentence. Maybe replace the last one with "film".
  • "the production stars Dhruv Ganesh and Shiv Pandit as two friends who set off to the Western Ghats for a weekend trip and focuses their complex emotional and sexual relationship." It should actually be focuses on. I am confused if focuses refers to "the production" or "two friends", although from the "s" in the end, I assume it's for the production.
  • "Saria conceived Loev's script while he was working on the another project" - remove the "the".
  • "a successful New York based businessman" - hyphenate York.
  • "Describing the film as, "small, fragile, honest", Saria" - no comma after as.
  • Can we briefly explain "Hinglish" without the reader having to look at another article to get an explanation?
  • "which Saria describes as, "the language I hear around me [in Mumbai]"." What is so special about this quote? This can be very well paraphrased without detriment.
  • "Pre–production work for the film began in February 2014"- hyphen not endash.
  • "Bombay Berlin Film Production showed interest in adapting the script into a full–length feature film" - same.
  • "co–produce", "same–sex relationships" ^^. And any other possible instance I might have missed.

Down to the end of Development and casting. More later. FrB.TG (talk) 16:22, 28 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've hopefully fixed everything. VedantTalk 05:18, 29 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The themes of unrequited love and self-acceptance are central to Loev as noted by such commentators as Aseem Chhabra, Zack Ford, and Subhash K. Jha. Commentators wrote in their reviews" - suggest replacing the second "commentators" with "they".
  • "Chhabra, a New York-based film writer and director noted that the film beautifully, "present[s]" - no comma after beautifully.
  • "present[s] an emotional journey by characters who are gay but seem to be comfortable with themselves" - I think this can be summarised. It's better that we conveyed this in our own voice.
  • "the social context of same sex love in India remains mostly off-screen" - same, although it could partially be retained, perhaps the "off-screen" part.
  • "Writing for ThinkProgress Ford also noted that although the socio-political backdrop, "is never explicitly mentioned, it’s alluded to throughout" - there's a word missing before the quote. "although" should probably become "despite". Also, ' should be used instead of ’.
  • Too many (al)though's throughout the article specifically in themes and influences section.
  • "Reviewing the film at Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival, Shelagh Rowan-Legg of Screen Anarchy praised the refreshing concept of the film, different from the usual cinema associated with India: "Loev examines.." - Loev in italics.
  • "with Brooke Corso of The Macguffin stating that the beautiful and heartbreaking" - "with + noun + verb + ing" is best avoided at FA articles.
  • Recipient(s) and nominee(s) should become Recipient and nominee and Ref(s) should become Ref, as the winner of every award is the same and there are single refs for each win/nom. FrB.TG (talk) 20:49, 31 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've hopefully fixed everything FrB.TG. Let me know if there's anything else. VedantTalk 04:30, 1 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Support on prose. I think that Ceranthor could be pinged to make sure it’s really there. I have also made some minor copyedits here and there but none of this affects my support. FrB.TG (talk) 22:20, 1 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you, I really appreciate the help. Ssven2 did ping him, let's see. VedantTalk 10:24, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Image review[edit]

Well, the image does fall in the same category Ssven2. Is there something that I'm missing? VedantTalk 14:27, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Scrap the comment about the last image. It looks fine too. Do archive the URLs for those images though.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:01, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Also,its best to archive all URLs from which the images are acquired to prevent deadlinks.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 13:05, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ssven2 Links have been archived. VedantTalk 16:26, 31 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for doing so, Numerounovedant.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 10:21, 6 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from King Prithviraj II[edit]

  • "while he was working on another project, the unreleased film I Am Here and drew heavily from his personal experience" — "another project" seems unnecessary here as its evident they aren't the same
Fixed

Great work on the article. Feel free to ignore my relatively minor comment. I support this article's promotion. King Prithviraj II (talk) 14:30, 31 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking​ a look King Prithviraj II, I really appreciate it. VedantTalk 15:57, 31 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@WP:FAC coordinators: I was wondering if you guys could take a quick look​ and discuss the status of the nomination (if anything part of the article needs any attention/improvement/further discussion). Thank you, and sorry for the unnecessary trouble. VedantTalk 16:24, 5 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ceranthor[edit]

  • I'm hoping to provide some feedback by tonight. ceranthor 22:16, 5 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Produced by Saria and the Bombay Berlin Film Productions" - why a "the" before the company's name?
  • "It was Ganesh's final film role, who died from tuberculosis prior to the production’s release" - grammatically this needs to be tweaked; should get rid of "who" and replace with "as he died..." or something similar
  • "the film relied on crowdfunding and cost–cutting measures to meet its production cost, which was estimated at $1 million." - nitpick, but don't think you need an endash for "cost-cutting"; a hyphen should be fine
  • "Loev had its world premiere at the 2015 Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival" - probably worth mentioning where this is for a lay reader (I didn't know)
  • "As planned, the two meet Alex, Sahil's boyfriend, who is accompanied by a friend, Junior (Chaddha)." - might have missed it, but did you mention in parentheses the actor who plays Alex?
  • "South Asian languages.[5][6]" - needs a WP:NBSP or {{nowrap}} template
  • "Saria said that the screenplay was written out of, "deep shame and fear"," - don't think the commas are necessary to offset the quote here
  • "sam-sex relationships in India" - typo; should be "same-sex"
  • " American Film Institute alumni Sherri Kauk" - alumni is plural; should be alumnus but "graduate" would also work fine
  • "The view was shared by freelance journalist Steven Borowiec" - nitpick; but I'd like "This view" better than "the view"
  • the Eric Rohmer link needs an NBSP. same with London LGBT Film Festival and the 2016 Tel Aviv International Film Festival, and 2016 International Film Festival of Kerala, Thiruvananthapuram and Pigeon & Co. Also Austin American-Statesman (at least on my Google Chrome)

I may have a few more comments once these are addressed. But this looks like it has improved a good amount since the first FAC, and your hard work is commendable. ceranthor 04:34, 6 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Ceranthor: I've addressed all your comments (except for the non-breaking spaces, which I've asked Ssven2 to take a look at as I have no idea how use the nbsp). Thank you for revisiting the article, I'd be a lot nice this time I promise. xD VedantTalk 09:58, 6 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I've managed to make some copyedits regarding the NBSP parts, Ceranthor. Do check if they are alright. Thanks.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 10:20, 6 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Think there are a few NBSP fixes to be resolved. But otherwise, support. ceranthor 16:55, 6 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you Ceranthor, I appreciate the help. VedantTalk 17:46, 6 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@WP:FAC coordinators: I believe that the article has received sufficient commentary, can you guys take a look. Thank you and sorry for the extra trouble. VedantTalk 14:10, 8 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the delay in responding -- looking okay at first glance, I'll aim to take a closer look tomorrow. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:18, 10 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I am sorry if I am being too impatient here, but have you gotten around to this yet Ian Rose? Sorry for the extra trouble. VedantTalk 10:11, 14 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Closing comments: Duplinks need to be checked as we seem to have some that I can't really see we need. This tool will highlight any duplication. But there is no need to delay promotion. Sarastro (talk) 11:27, 23 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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