Talk:The Art Teacher/Archive 1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sources[edit]

---Another Believer (Talk) 19:22, 10 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Copy editing[edit]

I have accepted the request to copyedit this article. I'll keep you posted on how the work is progressing! David Thibault (talk) 19:02, 19 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! ---Another Believer (Talk) 19:14, 19 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Another Believer: Copy editing completed! I've posted some queries below. They're pretty straightforward, but if you want me to look things over once you've made changes please let me know! It looks like a great article! David Thibault (talk) 22:36, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@David Thibault: Thank you very much! ---Another Believer (Talk) 22:41, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Copy editing queries[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
Lead
  • I recommend adding some more information regarding the last two works mentioned in the lead (“Vibrate…” and “Rufus Wainwright: Live from the Artists Den”). Are they concert films (DVDs)? Live albums?
 Done ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:10, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  • Near the beginning of the second paragraph, a square bracket appears inside a quote. I’m not sure if this is just a typo, or if another character should be in its place:
‘…with Wainwright's "round vocals [leaping from deep lows to piqued highs".’
 Done Meant to note the tense change. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:12, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the second paragraph, the second quote by Stephen Deusner (“…over a Philip Glass prism…”) does not fit with the first quote. I recommend adding some additional text to bridge the two quotes.
    • @David Thibault: I'm a bit confused here. Are you able to suggest specific changes or wording? ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • I've consulted the source material for the Stephen Deusner quote. The issue I stated above was that the broken-up quote would benefit from some bridging text. Below is a suggested revision:
Possible Revision: Pitchfork's Stephen Deusner described "The Art Teacher" as "a woman remembering her first love, the instructor of the title who turned her on to Romantic painter J. M. W. Turner", with the story told "over a Philip Glass prism of piano chords, a plaintive horn, and a slightly sped-up tempo". David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, I see now. Thanks. I've added your suggested wording. ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:43, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • At the very end of the second paragraph, delete “part”?
Recordings and performances
  • In the first paragraph, where was the Want Two version recorded? If it is the same recording as the EP version (just with an added horn solo), the text should be rewritten to show this. If it was recorded at a different venue, additional text should be added for the readers.
    • I will double check, but I am pretty sure the recording is the same (meaning from the same date and venue), but with the added horn solo. Does "overdubbed" but imply the same recording but with an added layer? I feel like saying more would be redundant... ---Another Believer (Talk) 01:20, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • If the recording date and venue are the same, and the only difference is the added horn solo, I recommend the following revision to keep everything accurate:
Possible revision: The track was recorded live at Le Metropolis in Montreal. According to The Guardian's Alexis Petridis, the live recording is "unadorned – you can hear Wainwright gasping for breath between each line". The EP version is slightly different from the Want Two version, which features an overdubbed horn solo. David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Perfect, thanks!  Done ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:48, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • In the first paragraph there is text that says there are four tracks in total on Waiting for a Want (Bud Scoppa’s review), but the infobox at the top of the article only lists two tracks.
    • @David Thibault: I'm not sure what you mean here. Waiting for a Want does have 4 tracks. Where are you seeing an infobox showing only 2 tracks? ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:17, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    • The top right corner of the article has a box with information about the song and album, but it only lists "The Art Teacher" and "Gay Messiah" as tracks 1 and 2. The other two tracks ("This Love Affair" and "Waiting for a Dream") are not listed. Do you want them to be? I feel they should be listed to achieve completeness. If they are, they should listed in the correct order. David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Oh, I see what you mean. This is correct use of the template, which displays only the tracks immediately before and after the track being discussed as the subject of the Wikipedia article. There is no need to include all track titles, as those are found on the Wikipedia article about the EP. Thanks! ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:50, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Reference 17: The author’s last name should appear first.
  • Reference 26: Should “Bristol24-7” be written as “Bristol 24-7” (with a space)?

 Doing... Thanks, David Thibault, I will review these and update the article accordingly, soon. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:01, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome! I'm available if you have any questions! David Thibault (talk) 23:04, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I do have a couple questions. Once addressed, I'll consider nominating this article for Good status. Thanks again for your help. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Another Believer: I've responded to the three queries posted above! Please let me know when you've looked at them! David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@David Thibault: Thanks again. I've replied to your three comments and implemented two changes to the article based on your suggestions. Unless you have any other concerns, I'll nominate this for Good article status very soon. ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:51, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Another Believer: The changes look good! I hope the article is successful achieving Good article status! I really enjoyed working on it! David Thibault (talk) 23:49, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:The Art Teacher/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 19:19, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead
  • Any information on who produced the song? This comment applies to both the lead and the infobox.
    •  Doing... ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:53, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • I would not worry about this part, as this song does not appear to have a "producer" in the modern sense of the word. Aoba47 (talk) 02:58, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would spell out EP (i.e. extended play) and put EP in parenthesis next to it when you first use it. Also, add a link for the concept. This comment applies to both the lead and the infobox.
    • I can't do anything about the infobox, but I've adjusted the lead accordingly. Thanks! ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:47, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Makes sense, thank you for the reply. Aoba47 (talk) 23:50, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  • Please add ALT text to the image.
  • I would use Wainwright’s full name in the first sentence.
  • For this sentence (According to The Guardian, "melodically and harmonically it's very minimal, an ostinato song that sounds like a Philip Glass composition.”), I would avoid just putting in the quote in full with much in terms of the contextualization. I would add more of your own words to this part.
Recordings and performances
Reception
  • I am not sure about the structure of the first two paragraphs. I would organize them by some sort of theme or topic if possible. Please reference the following resource to see what I mean. The content is good, but there should be some sort of narrative or organization tactic if possible.
    • @Aoba47: I tried to make the first paragraph comments by music critics reviewing studio recordings, and the second paragraph commentary about a live recording and other people about the song in general. If I've not organized this in a clear way, do you have any specific suggestions? ---Another Believer (Talk) 01:18, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    • One option is to merge the first sentence of the second paragraph to the end of the first, then, merge the 3rd paragraph into the end of the second, leaving just two paragraphs. The first would be about recordings, the second would be other. What do you think? ---Another Believer (Talk) 01:19, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Thank you for pointing this out! This makes sense to me. I think that "Reception" section works as it currently stands then. Aoba47 (talk) 01:26, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Credits and personnel
  • I would addd a section like this to list all of the credits and personnel involved with the song. I am pretty sure that this is a required part of the song articles.
    •  Doing... ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:53, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    • Turns out I can't find my liner notes for Want Two. Do you know if Discogs.com works until someone with liner notes can provide a better source? ---Another Believer (Talk) 02:20, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Discogs should be fine, as long as you cite as the liner notes for the time being. You can always update in the future when you do find your liner notes if there are any errors from the Discogs sources. Hope this makes sense. Aoba47 (talk) 02:37, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 02:55, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
External links
  • I would a section like this after the “References” section to include a link to the page in Metrolyrics.
Final comments
  • Good work on this. Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Have a wonderful day or night. Aoba47 (talk) 22:50, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Verdict
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:The_Art_Teacher/Archive_1&oldid=833460695"