Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Adventures of Mini-Goddess episodes

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Matthewedwards 23:40, 28 February 2009 [1].

List of Adventures of Mini-Goddess episodes[edit]

Nominator(s): NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c )
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Peer review

Another anime list for your consideration. The list has been lightly copyedited. Please keep in mind that the episodes are eight minutes long (including the ending theme) so the episode summaries are therefore quite short in comparison to most summaries. Thanks. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 02:39, 13 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

(Copyedited by —La Pianista (T•C) @ 20:03, 15 February 2009 (UTC))[reply]
  • Support - Made some changes, feel free to revert if you wish. I don't like the current FLC system, so I made comments using the <!-- --> tags. In any case, they are minor points, so support per meeting the FA Criteria. NuclearWarfare (Talk) 05:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Changed some stuff. Mold was from the previous episode and I always thought movies were italicized. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong... Thanks for the review! NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 05:53, 19 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

  • "that ran for 48 episodes between 1998 and 1999"-->that aired 48 episodes between 1998 and 1999
  • "which focuses three goddesses" Missing a word.
  • "The series had only two pieces of theme music"
  • "However, Urd's predictions are all inanimate objects." I am confused. If these are predictions, then why does Gan-chan marry the kettle?
  • "Gan-chan, Urd, and Skuld laze around, bored" Redundant, if they are lazing around then doesn't it follow that they are bored?
  • "The three battles the rat"-->The three battle the rat
  • "Gan-chan volunteers to act as a distraction. " I think "decoy" would be better here.
  • "Urd and Skuld find the treasure, but it turns out to be a windup doll of a golden Buddha statue. " "but" implies contradiction. What did they expect the treasure to be?
  • They expected the treasure to be an actual treasure, diamonds, gold, I dunno... I've changed this a bit to clarify a bit more. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 03:05, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Skuld and Urd build him-->Skuld and Urd build for him
  • "ate like a pig following his exercise and regained his weight. " Can you put something more encyclopedic than "ate like a pig"?
  • "Gan-chan has turned into mini-Godzilla named Gabira." Needs "a" before "mini-Godzilla".
  • "can containing"-->can that contains
  • "Upon entering "
  • "However, the bad luck almost immediately" The way this is phrased, readers are expected to know that bad luck comes from the ring. Please explain further.
  • "They try to place a spiritual barrier on the ring, but it fails." Fails to do what?
  • "Urd and Skuld bathe him sunlight." Missing a preposition ("in", I think).
  • "They duplicate themselves to make teams." "make"-->form.
  • "play in ridiculous fashions, at one point, mimicking the tornado pitch of the Tasmanian Devil. Urd then disappears for her "ultimate pitch," and the rest all imitate her, leaving the stadium deserted. "-->play in ridiculous fashions; at one point, they mimick the tornado pitch of the Tasmanian Devil. Urd then disappears for her "ultimate pitch", and the rest imitate her, leaving the stadium deserted. What action do they imitate?

That is the first 12 episodes. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:56, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Done with notes. I will c/e this myself again later. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 03:05, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Odd... Most of the issues seem to be centered in the first few episodes. Take another look now; there should not be any more major errors, though another copyedit may be necessary from a better copyeditor. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 22:29, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"and they try to save him with their various strange methods."
  • "Gan-chan explains to Urd how to fish, but Urd ignores him and begins fishing herself." Add "by" before "herself".
    • That would change the meaning. I've removed "herself" however, so the meaning should remain the same and the grammar should be better. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 01:23, 28 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Together, they pull out an extremely large fish" "pull out"-->reel in
  • "When Marller checks on her henchmen, they are all enjoying themselves with their captives and the henchmen and the goddesses decide to have a party." Two unrelated ideas connected by "and".
    • Well, they seemed connected to me... Split anyway. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 01:23, 28 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "decides to summon some new servants"

Those were just a few more things, I've no time to go through the entire article. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:13, 28 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • No worries. As long as the FLC doesn't close, I've got all the time in the world! NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 01:23, 28 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Expand WP:CONTRACTIONS
  • Watch out for colloqualisms (e.g. "his place")
  • "twenty-four[13]," refs after punctuation.
  • For "one through twenty-four" and "twenty-five through forty-eight", I'd use 1–24 and 25–48 instead.
    • I prefer it the other way, but I've changed it. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 22:29, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Rambo's Revenge (talk) 14:44, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Summaries still need work I am afraid. Some quick examples of erroneous or unclear things.

  • "and beats the others" | beats?
  • "Urd tests him" | tests how
  • "is too nervous for the concert" | nervous about/before the concert ?
  • "destruction!" | full stop not exclamation mark
  • "Urd, as the Mallard Train races Gan" | comma after train
  • "He imagines life if he lived in the miso jar" | He imagines what life would be like if he...

First 15 ep summaries.

  • "The devices begin with Urd's attempt to build Icarus' wings, followed by Skuld's construction of the Montgolfier brothers' balloon, Otto Lilienthal's glider, Samuel Langley's (unsuccessful) Aerodrome and, ultimately, the Bell X-1, as Belldandy gives the history of flight." | reword or possibly remove "history of flight" as it is already mentioed in the previous sentence, and it reads funny.
  • "quoting Neil Armstrong's famous line" Expand. Is it in full or a parody. Gan-chan is a rat so does he really say "I small step for man...?"
    • Done. The translation is a bit funky, but that is to be expected, no? NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 15:03, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • before reurning to his spaceship
  • What is "deep space"?
    • The disambig describes it, but linking to dabs is suggested against so I've linked to outer space.
  • "transform it into a spaceship" - it being? the temple?
  • Link "emcee"
  • What is a "collared bowtie"
    • Linked. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 15:03, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • I didn't mean link it. What is a collar bow tie? Is it a type of bow tie. Can you do without the word "collared"? Rambo's Revenge (talk) 15:45, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        • Removed then. It's a bowtie that goes at the collar... I've removed "collared" and unlinked. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 16:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "beats up" is a bit colloquial - reword

Rambo's Revenge (talk)

16–35

  • "Gan-chan repeats his attempt to clean Keiichi's desk and subsequent injuries" | Sounds like he his attempting to clean subsequent injuries
  • "and begins to climb" | he begins to climb back up?
    • No, he's trying to climb down the cliff. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 16:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Urd rudely wakes him up" | bit vague maybe "abruptly wakes him"
  • "Skuld enters Banpei" | sounds like Skuld is going inside Banpei. Make it clear it is enters Banpei for the competition
    • Fixed. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 16:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • "Skuld enters Banpei into the competition, and it wins" | "it wins" seems strange, I was happier with who wins assuming it is an animate object. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:45, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        • However, the grammar of Skuld enters Banpei into the competition, who wins several times as well. is incorrect. I've replaced "who wins" with "Banpei." NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 20:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link "sake"
  • "use inventions to calm him down" | what inventions?
  • "not unfounded" | double negative, maybe well-founded
  • Possibly "and as a first-class sorceress demon, she easily defeats Gan-chan" unless that part is really relevent.
  • "a black bird fly away" | black bird -> crow as you specify this later
  • "Unfortunately, it was all a dream" | unfortunate for who, maybe just but it was ...
    • Changed. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 16:16, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • Still don't know why it is unfortunate. Try Urd defeats Marller and saves the world from destruction, but it was in a dream. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:45, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "so that Belldandy confesses to Gan-chan inside his dream" | confesses what?
  • "beat him up" again
  • "attach Belldandy to the machine" | what machine?
  • "freed from his curse" | what curse
  • "power goes out and their scores are lost" | need to mention that their "scores" are being recorded on something before
  • "but the fish swallows him instead" | instead of?

Rambo's Revenge (talk) 15:45, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

36–

  • "Urd then moves" | The fake Urd then ...
  • "The goddesses demands the real Urd what is going on" missing word
    • Dunno what the missing word was, but that sentence was horrid to begin with. Minor switch ups in wording, so it should be fixed. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 20:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "favorite Ninja TV show" | if the show is called Ninja TV then fine, but I suspect it is a TV show about ninjas -> ninja TV show
    • I don't know what the true translation is, so I've made it lower case. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 20:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Rock-Paper-Scissors" -> rock-paper-scissors
  • Link "smear campaign"
  • "smear campaign against Gan-chan and incites a crowd against Gan-chan" | reword to remove repetition of "against Gan-chan"
  • "Gan-chan hurriedly tries to grant other wishes so that the Wish Maker does not grant them" | huh?
  • "but the description sounds like Gan-chan, to his surprise—" | but, to his suprise, the description sounds like himself—
  • "but he unfortunately keeps missing Keiichi" | who? is that what the student his called? if so clarify that earlier
    • Clarified at the end. It doesn't fit elsewhere. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 20:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gan-chan chases after her but accidentally ends up at the Extreme Thrill Ride Course, a roller coaster-like track, to his dismay." | after her but, to his dismay, accidentally ... a coaster-like track.
    • Clarified, and the wording morphed a bit from yours. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 20:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Alot of Ep 47 is unclear, I realise it is a weird plot, but it still needs better wording.

Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:45, 27 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • The Adventures of Mini-Goddess... was a Japanese animated TV series that aired 48 episodes between 1998 and 1999. Episodes exist forever, so "...is a Japanese..." is more correct
  • The series premiered on WOWOW as a part of the omnibus show Anime Complex; it is currently distributed in North America by Geneon Entertainment, formerly known as Pioneer Entertainment. The two parts of the sentence don't flow for me, because WOWOW is a Japanese network, and the bit after the semicolond discusses American distribution. Also, Anime Complex should be italicised per WP:ITALICS

Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 20:22, 26 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Fixed both. Moved a ref to support the sentence created. NOCTURNENOIR ( t • c ) 20:30, 26 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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